Weird Name, Weird Life
by Chaos-Is-My-Love
Summary: As a child, all I wanted was happiness. All I wanted as a teenager was to escape this prison. As a young adult all I wanted was to stay safe and see him just one last time. As an adult all I want is my son back, and why my love is in Azkaban for killing..
1. 1: The Weird Meeting

**WEIRD NAME, WEIRD LIFE**

**REMADE CHAPTER 1**

_**A/N: Alright everyone! I am sorry about all of the updates that have been lacking. I went through a horrible writers block and it wasn't until recently that I decided "I don't like my story... I'm going to re-do it.". I've had Zarina in my mind for over 10 years now and I want to do her story justice. The last story that I had started posting on here was merely a summary of her story. With these, I've remade the chapters, changed quite a bit and well, I'll leave the rest for you to read. But PLEASE leave me a comment letting me know how you like the changes! **_

Zarina Zilini, the average American girl with a weird first and last name. But, with a weird name comes weirdness is personality, humor, and life in general.

Zarina was, by no means, unaware of this theory. She knew she was weird mainly since she was the only one in her family _not _excited to move to London.

By the age of ten she was having the same arguement with her mother as she had had for the last six months.

"Please remind me why I can't go live with Aunt Jora and Uncle Timmy back in America?"

"You're too young to move across the country by yourself." her mother stated with a long hint of annoyance at the old conversation.

"Besides," she continued, "You'll be starting a private school in September. You just recieved your acceptance letter this morning."

"I wasn't aware that I was going to go to a private school." Her voice was close to matching her mother's tone. Zarina hated being left out of any loop.

Her mother continued to do the dishes, and a rather proud smirk was on her face. Somethin rarely seen on her face since they had moved, especially since she knew her mother loathed doing the dishes.

"Yes, it is only fitfull that you will attend."

"Attend to what?" Mr. Zilini walked down the stairs eyeing his wife from the bottom of the stairwell. His light grey eyes questioning her statement.

Ziren Zilini was a tall man with long silver hair and a peppered goatee. Always dressing in his best in an assortment of suits, his presence demanded leadership and no questions. She couldn't remember a time when he didn't wear a suit, even in summer. She also couldn't remember ever seeing a look of disgust or a look of unease in his eyes when they lived in America. But since they had moved, she barely recognized her father at times.

"Zarina has been excepted."

"To what?" He was getting fed up with her beating around subject. Nicollettes eye's flashed dangerously at her husband and her gaze drifted to the kithen table where a large envelope layed face down amongst postcards and a newspaper.

Ziren's emotions were suddenly hard to make out. Zarina thought she might have seen shock, happiness, suspicion and lastly a slightly worried expression that he chose as his new mask.

"Right then." His gaze shifted from the letter and settled on his daughter.

"When are you leaving?" He asked his wife.

"When am I? Are you not attending?" Nicollettes eyes narrowed defensively and suddenly she seemed dangerous. She dried her hands on her apron, her dark tattoo glistening with water on her left forearm. Unconsciously she rolled down her sleeves and crossed her arms.

"You want me to take her alone?"

"Yes. Both of us would cause an uproar and you know it. It hasn't been that long for these idiots to forget."  
"Fine." She threw down her drying rag on the counter and scowled at Zarina.

"Go get ready."

Zarina knew better than to question that look, and she ran past her father up the steps to her room. Just as she knew not to ask about the family tattoo, she knew she was not going to have a fun conversation with Bridgette whenever they returned.

"Darling Rina, how much of your father's and my background have you been told about?" she asked her daughter. Together they were talking down the busy streets of London.

Zarina merely shrugged.

"Just that you and dad met in boarding school and got married shortly after. You both grew up here and moved to America around the time I was concieved." She noticed that while she had no idea where she was going, her mother knew exactly where she was headed, almost as if her feet were leading her completely on their own. There was not a single fault in her quick step.

Zarina grabbed her mother's hand as the streets started getting gloomy and filled with even more gloomy people. She felt oddly out of place in her bright yellow sundress that contrasted with her short black hair and pale skin.

"Why are we here?" She felt uneasy about the place. "I thought we were going to go school shopping. This is a pub." She pointed out. But her mother continued and even entered the downtrodden pub. Zarina made aware to _not_ let go of her mother's hand as they wound their way through the tables and guests. She noticed that her mother's attention never left the back door. Once they were free of the foul smell of whiskey, Nicollette Zilini bent down on one knee and looked her daughter in the eye, her face serious as it was that morning.

"My Rina, I have much to tell you before we continue, and most of it you must understand immediately.

"You are a witch. Not in a bad way, but as in all of those fantasy books you read. For your safety we have hidden it from you. Your father and I despised the idea, but no one in America was to know, for over there, there are very little of our magical kind.

"But you are also a Zilini. You need to be proud of this fact. Many people will try and tell you otherwise, that our name is associated with monsters, but this is not true. _They_ are the true monsters of our race. Your blood that runs through you is the purest it can ever be. Always remember that you'll be fine." Nicollette straightened up and readjusted her long dress and overcoat. Zarina's expression changed from skeptical to thoughtful in an instant. Her mother never joked around; it just had to be true. It all somehow made sense. She didn't understand all of that nonsense about blood lines but the unknown in her life was finally lightened. She stared at her mother's tattoo, completely hidden at the moment, but she knew it was there. She also knew that it somehow verifed all of what her mother had just said. Now her life had turned just as weird as her name. Somehow everything now made sense. She vaguely wondered if Bridgette would have this much fun with her own family.

Nicollette pulled out a long mahogony stick and tapped the brick wall in front of them. Before Zarina's eyes a large archway appeared before them. Inside was loud, filled with people of all shapes and colors and variaties. She heard frogs and owls, kids screaming, parents calling and talking to others. She saw everyone dressed in robes and carrying large bags with moving pictures on them. She could smell the delicious aroma coming from around the corner and was delighted to immediately see an ice cream store.

Before she could get too distracted by all of the colors and sounds, her mother grabbed her hand and started off.

"You need robes. We will start there first."

"Can I get blue robes? Or pink?" she asked excitedly. Blue was her favorite color to wear.

"No. Black only. You're not trying to make a fashion statement."

"Oh." She huffed. Looking around quickly she read the sign: "Eeylopes Owls" and was intrigued.

"Mother, can I look over there? I promise not to stray or anything..." Nicollette quickly glanced around and nodded.

"Fine, but do not leave the store." Zarina nodded in agreement and ran off inside the large building. Nicollette shrugged and entered Madam Malkin's Robes Shop For All Occasions.

Zarina entered the shop and was suddenly aware at how loud it all was. She was startled to feel straw underneath her sandals and figured it was more than likely easier to clean.

Se was amazed at all of the different types of owls. Shee had been unaware at how many different breeds there really were.

One especially caught her eye. Its perch had a name tag as for the breed and it read: "Barred Owl".

It was a beautiful tan color with white vertical striped throughout its wings and chest. It's disc shaped eyes and head stared back at her with as much curiousity as she had for it.

She started when she was tapped on the shoulder unexpectantly. Quickly she whipped around.

It was a very pretty woman with large hazel eyes and long blonde hair. Zarina was more interested in the boy her own age with the messed up hair, glasses and matching hazel eyes as his mother. On one shoulder was a large barn owl, the other was taken by his mother's soft hand. Vaguely Zarina wondered if she would look as silly in robes and cloaks.

The boy caught her eye and winked, not before looking at her Muggle-style sundress.

"Are you lost my dear?" his mother asked. Zarina jumped slightly as she noticed the barred owl she was looking at earlier had landed on her own shoulder, hooting at it's friend across the way.

"No, I'm not lost. My mother is over there." She pointed at the robe shop across the street. At that moment, as if on cue, Nicollette appeared with a bag on either arm. The bell gave her away as she entered the Emporium. Her eyes narrowed dangerously at the mother and son. Without her eyes leaving them, she walked to her daughter.

"I see you found a suitable pet, darling?"

"Yes, mother." Once she was close enough did her mother seem to recognize the boy and mother. Her glaze quickly turned venomous.

"Dorea, why, is that you?" Her voice matched her stare. She could see her hand clench on her son's shoulder subconsciously tighter.

"Nicollette! How have you been?" There was no trace of resentment or poison in her voice, just pure joy at the coincidence of seeing an old school pal.

"Wonderful! Is this your boy?"

"Why yes, this is my James."

"Aren't you a cute lad." Her voice remained the same, sweet venom.

"Thank you, ma'am." James answered cooly, ruffling his hair in the meantime. With a wink to Zarina he added, "It is quite the pleasure." It was an act that did not go unnoticed.

"Did you and Ziren ever get married? I remember you both were quite the extravaggent pair." Dorea's tone seemed to sour at her father's name.

"But of course. This is our daughter, Zarina Aeon Zilini."

"Very fitting. Her first year?"

"Yes. His?" Zarina and James both could feel the tension in the air.

"Of course. We were just out doing a little school shopping. I suppose we'll see you at the platform, then." Her voice was back to being joyful and cheery. She quickly paid for the large barn owl and left the shop, not looking back. Nicollette's eyes never left the pair of them. She watched as they were joined by a man that Zarina had no problem in recognize as the boy's father. He carried ice cream cones for the three of them and was obviously praising his son's pick of an owl.

Nicollette distractedly paid for her daughter's owl and they headed back out to the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley.

"Those, Rina," Zarina looked at her mother quickly, panicked by the scathing voice she used. She followed her mother's deadly gaze towards the cute boy and his parents. "Those," She repeated, "are the type you do not want to have anything to do with."

"Why? They seemed nice, and they seem to know you and daddy too!" She simled as her owl let out an agreeing hoot.

"Yes, they know your father. Dorea must have married that blood traitor, Charlus Potter. He is one you must never mention to your father. Blood traitors are witches and wizards who would prefer to have pollution in their blood. They have no problem marrying a Muggle- someone without a trace of magic in their veins. As I told you earlier dear, ours is pure. We have only married our kind, as the way it should be. None of that other rubbish."

Zarina had a feeling that this type of thinking was all very political and politics hurt her head. She didn't reply to her mothers rantings. She liked the boy, and it seemed like he might be funny. However she figured it would be unwise to cross her mother today. She had never seen her mother so angry before nor was she the type to be bothered by anything.

Soon they were back to shopping. Other than the owl shop, Zarina's favorite store had to be the Potions Apothecary. Zarina had always wondered whether or not "eye of newt" was ever used and to her surprise it was almost sold out. She searched the shelves for any other fuming ingrediants and wondered vaguely if they had made anything tasty when used. Soon, she was having to be dragged out.

What felt like hours later, and entering almost every store, they stopped in front of an old worn down shop. In the dusty windows were light purple pillows, sunfaded, with short and long sticks laying across from them. Zarina read the name scrawled on the sign: "Ollivander's Wand Shop."

"Wand shop?" She read aloud. "I actually get to have my own wand?" the idea seemed rather silly, but she still wanted one.

"Yes. This is where we all get our wands at your age. Come." Her mother walked inside, and somewhere in the shop a bell rang twice, announcing their presence. Nicollette sat in an old chair and waited patiently. Zarina, who had no idea what to do, settled for looking around. Somewhere behind hundreds of shelves an older voice yelled "Coming! I'm coming!"

Zarina cast her mother a nervous side glace. Quickly an older, white-haired gentleman appeared behind his desk.

"Ah, young Nicollette. Mahogony, 14 inches, dragon heartstring, right?" Nicollette nodded and gave him a knowing smile.

"And this must be your daughter? Already time for her first wand, is it?" Ollivander walked around his desk and pulled out a tape measurer from one of his many pockets. Zarina was amazed at his memory, but not so much as the measurer that was showing off her pinky finger's length.

"Right or left handed?" he asked her without so much as looking at her; he was already searching through boxes.

"Right." she stammered. The tape measure seemed to have finished it's job for it fell to the floor loudly.

"Lets try Willow, 14 inches, unicorn hair." He handed her the wand and waited.

Zarina looked it over and began to blush. "What do I do with it, sir?"

"Swish it around and the like!" But before she even moved her hand, he snatched it away, muttering.

Another seemingly random box was chosen.

"Yew, 11 inches, pheonix feather."

She swished it around before he could yank it out of her hands.

"Nope! But close! Very close!" Without much luck, he grabbed it away. Zarina's patience was starting to wear thin.

Ollivander quickly came back with a rather dusty box.

"This is one of my personal favorites since it came from my own bird.

"Maple, 10 3/4 inches, peacock feather." He delicately handed the wand over.

As soon as she touched it, she knew it was perfect. Ollivander was smiling as he could tell it was too.

"It is an unusual wand combination and very whispy. Great for Transfiguration and performing complex spells. I have no doubt that you will be able to do wonders with that wand. An unusual wand for an unusual girl, indeed."

Zarina didn't understand what most of that meant, but she did understand that he just called her weird.

"15 sickles please." Ollivander held out his hand. Nicollette raised an eyebrow at the price, but paid it anyhow. Together, mother and daughter left the wand shop.

Zarina was relieved when she realized they noww had everything they needed for her first year of school.

Byt the time they reached the car, Zarina's feet were aching, but the pain was quickly eased by her excitement. She was starting this weird life of hers. Secretely she hoped that she would be able to talk to that James Potter boy again. This time without the interruption of parents with long held grudges.

The week before September first seemed to drag on forever. Zarina wasn't allowed to play with her wand since her parents didn't want her doing accidental magic, or so they said.

So she opted to spend her days playing with her best friend, Bridgette, and studying her new books at night (she had a hard time accepting the fact that she would actually be learning it's contents).

Bridgette too was going away for school. Neither of the girls said where they would be going, but both knew they would write and nothing would be different between them.

Bridgette was a laid back girl. She didn't allow anything to bother her, and she enjoyed any new conflict. She was also a huge gossip, as the reason why Zarina knew better than to say anything about Hogwarts or being a witch to her. Zarina hated the feeling of hiding something from her best friend, but they had plenty of other happy things to talk about. They spared no details when talking about the boys they had seen over the weekend.

"He was a little taller than me, with shoulder length black hair. An awesome smile and cool gray eyes. Even his little brother was kind of cute. I think he was nine or ten though..." Bridgette trailed off.

"Ew! Too young!"

"No, his little brother was obviously too young, but his older borhter was cute. I would have talked to him, but his mom looked like a hawk. Scary." She shuddered at the thought. "What about you?"

Zarina instantly thought of James and grinned sheepishly.

"He had black hair..." she started off reluctantly. Bridgette had to nudge her for her to continue.

"It was short and messy, like he hadn't brushed it in a while. Definitely taller than either of us. Way skinny. Umm... Glasses and he had hazel eyes. My mom was yelling at his mom so I didn't catch a lot details." She could feel her face progressively get redder and redder.

"Enough to tell what eye color he had though!" Bridgette playfully pushed Zarina. Her face burned brighter and hotter as Bridgette laughed. Zarina was no where near as boy crazy as her friend, but it was still a nice change from the rising unease in her household.

At night, after playing with her friend and eating dinner with her family, she would take out Opal and pet her absently as she flipped through her favorite potions book. Opal the owl would hoot happily until it was time for bed. Zarina would ope her window, watch her maginificent bird fly out as she stretched, ready for bed. For her, the week could not come quickly enough. True, it meant leaving everything she as normal behind, but she would be embracing what she knew as true. Zarina was a weird child with a weird name, and now she was getting the weird life she knew was bound to come, to go along with everything else weird.

_**A/N: I know it was long, but thank you for reading through it! Please let me know what you think of this new and improved version! So far most of the chapters are this long, so I hope you all enjoy!**_


	2. 2: The Train Ride

**CHAPTER 2**

_**A/N: Thank you for everyone that has been following through with the**_

_**new changes. It's been pretty nutty here lately between trying to find **_

_**a new job, driving across the country, and dealing with a horribly**_

_**sick puppy (RIP Trina). Oh, and the fact that our laptop charger**_

_**decided to kill itself so we had to wait and send out for a new**_

_**one. That sucked, hahaha. Anyways, without further delay, here is **_

_**the remade version of chapter 2!**_

It was August 31st and Zarina was having a hard time trying to fall asleep. She had dreamed that

everything had been a joke. She dreamt that the teachers laughed at her in every class; that her robes

turned up missing, and then, when she finally fell into a fitful sleep, she dreamed of that Potter boy. That

was the only thing that seemed right.

The trip to the platform was rather uneventful. To Zarina's surprise, both of her parents went

along. Ziren was in his best suit (they both deemed this as a very momentous occasion for their daughter)

and her mother was in her own best suit and skirt. Zarina wished she could have dressed formally as well

but she was too eager to wear anything but her uniform.

She noticed her father's normal scowl had deepened as they walked across the platform, looking

at all of the witches and wizards who clearly didn't know how to dress properly. A few times the family was

stopped by gruff looking men and hard-faced wives, but they never stayed to talk long. More than a few

that came up to them, were the ones that seemed to shy away from them, whispering to their children.

After a few hugs and 'I love you', Zarina was left alone to try and find her own compartment.

What seemed like forever, she finally managed to find one empty in the back of the train. Alone,

she began to ponder about her life up to this point.

'Lets see,' she thought, staring out the window, 'I am a witch. I moved across the planet to go to a

school for magic. Only, its not silly magic like pulling a rabbit out of a hat or anything. Or will I? And just

what is the deal about all of this bloodline nonsense? Why does mom and dad seem to hate everyone here?

I wonder why. I wonder what they were like in school. Did dad have to pull out a rabbit from a hat? Maybe

mom had to make a dragon disappear... Do they have dragons? Witches are real so they must be real too-'

Her thoughts were abruptly halted by someone opening the compartment door behind her.

"Yes?" she asked, turning to the intruder. Her heart did a flip when she recognized who it was.

"Hey," he smiled charmingly at her. "May I sit in here with you? Everywhere else is full."

"Yeah, of course." She set Opal's cage into the storage rack. Thankfully the large bird was out

hunting or else she may have tumbled back after trying to reach the high storage bin. The advice her parents

had given her about staying away from blood traitors suddenly flew out the window.

James Potter sat across from her, in his own window seat and ruffled his hair.

"You're the girl from the Emporium, right? Zilini?"

Zarina nodded. "Zarina Zilini," She shook his hand. "or Rina if preffered. Not so long or weird."

"James Potter." that charming smile was back. Her heart seemed to do another flip. Oh if Bridgette

could see her now... There was a lurch forward and the train began to move.

"So..." Zarina coughed, trying to break the awkward silence. James merely shrugged.

"You think you'll be sorted into a good house?" he asked. She sighed inwardly, thankful to

have something to talk about, even if she didn't know about what exactly.

"Sure, I guess. How about you?" She was proud of answer, without giving away her confusion.

"Oh, Gryffindor no doubt." his hand went back to his hair, messing it up again.

Zarina only nodded. She secretely hoped she would be in Gryffindor also. But as quickly as it went

away, the awkward tension came back. The only nose was James' owl readjusting itself on its perch, hooting

indignantly at being in a cage.

A few long minutes passed of nothing being said. Zarina vaguely wondered how long it could last.

But suddenly the compartment door was thrown open and a boy ran in, shutting it as quickly as he

could. He peered through the window to make sure he wasn't follwed. Satisfied that he wasn't, he exhaled

and turned around, his gray eyes meeting a pair of startled blue eyes and bemused hazel eyes.

"My bad, I thought this was empty." He straightened himself up and brushed off his robes.

Suddenly Bridgette's description of her cute boy sounded in her ears. Could this somehow be him? Shoulder

length black hair, gray eyes, tall... true, it could describe a lot of guys, but it seemed as if her description

was made for this boy. She wondered absently how they could have met. She quickly decided that he wasn't

the right boy, even if her gut feeling told her otherwise.

"Make yourself at home, mate." James too moved his owl to the storage rack, and the boy plopped

down next to him.

"So what's your name?" Zarina asked, trying to control her timid voice. Never had she a lot of male

friends, especially two that she had immediately developed a crush on.

"Sirius Black. You?"

"Zarina Zilini."

"James Potter."

"Awesome." He stretched his legs out; they were just long enough to rest comfortably on the other

seats.

"So who were you running from?" James asked with a smirk.

"Some blonde girl that kept trying to give me her telly-phone number or some weird device like

that. She was obviously Muggle-born and when I told her I didn't have a telly-phone she got mad. Boy

did she have a quick temper! Kind of cute though. She had freckles." he smiled at the recent memory.

"So why were you running away?" Zarina asked, amused by the story, confused by his

description of the girl however.

"She was trying to get too close, and when I apparently said something wrong and she started

chucking her school books at me. So I booked it. Ha! Pun..." he grinned mischeviously. Zarina rolled

her eyes and James snickered.

"Not even to the school yet and I'm already having girl issues. S'okay though, that Bridgette

Scott is pretty cute when she's happy." Sirius absently rubbed the back of his head where a rogue book

had hit him. Out of six books, it was the only one to do damage. The others missed by a mile.

Zarina's heart had been fluttering wildly until Sirius mentioned her best friend's name. Bridgette

Scott. It had to be her. It all added up. Her parents had no magic so she must have been worried about

Zarina thinking she was crazy. If Zarina didn't have the same fear herself, she would have told Bridgette

when she first recieved her letter and found everything out. She thought it was weird that they were

supposed to be best friends and neither of them had bothered to mention where they were heading to

school. Her mind began to race as to how she was going to approach Bridgette when Sirius turned

serious and asked her a question directly.

"Is your father named Ziren?" Zarina nodded, not comprehending his meaning. James let out a low

whistle.

"Really?" he asked.

"Your mom asked my mom about that when were in the Emporium." Zarina pointed out.

"I wasn't paying attention to them talking. I was distracted." he huffed, "But I should have made

the connection anyways when you said your last name was Zilini." Sirius's mischevious smile quickly turned

into a grimace. She wondered what it was about her family's history that caused that reaction.

"Whatever. He's a prick, anyhow." Sirius crossed his arms. "It's not surprising though. You're a

Slytherin pure blood, and there are all pricks."

"Hey! I'm not a prick and neither is my dad!"

"Really?" Both boys raised an eyebrow at her.

"And what is a Slytherin anyways?"

Sirius and James exchanged looks.

"You don't know much about the Wizarding World and all of its happenings, do you?" James

asked slowly. Zarina only shook her head.

"Slytherin is a house, like Gryffindor." James began to explain. "It's Slytherin, Gryffindor,

Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw."

"Hufflepuff is for losers who don't belong in any other house. Ravenclaw is for the nerds and the

booksmart. Gryffindor is for the brave and the bold, and Slytherin is where all of the evil kids go." Sirius

explained bluntly for her.

"Your family is nothing but Slytherins, and no Slytherin has ever been good after leaving school.

They all become evil and stuff. My family is the same way. But not me. I _know _I'm different. I want to be,

and I will be, in Gryffindor. " Sirius said haughtingly.

"My family has a pure line of blood too, only we're all in Gryffindor. We just happen to be okay

with marrying Muggles and so that makes us blood traitors. We really don't pay attention to any other

views of it though." James explained.

"But my family can't be evil! My parents are very nice when they want to be." Zarina bit her lip

with worry. Flashbacks to the platform filled her mind as parents ushered their children and faimly away

from her own. Could they really be evil?

"Don't you know your own history?" Sirius asked incredously.

"My parents didn't tell me I was a witch until I recieved my Hogwarts letter. I only know that my

parents got married after school, moved to America a few years after, and we just moved back about six

months ago."

"The reason why they fled to America was because they both were wanted for numerous murders.

They were Death Eaters."

"Murder? Death Eaters? That can't be right. You're wrong." She shook her head. She didn't want to

believe it. "How can they be wanted for murder if i've never seen them use magic?" She bit her lip and

looked back and forth between the two boys. Sirius sat up and looked hard at her, James just shook his

head.

"You have to be wrong. Besides they aren't in a group. Even as silly sounding as the 'Death

Eaters'?"

"Do they have a tattoo on their left arm of a skull and snake?" James asked darkly. Zarina felt

her eyes get wide. He was quickly taken aback by how deep of a blue they were.

"How did you know?" she asked quietly, her voice was almost a whisper.

"Every Death Eater has one. My mum says its how they communicate with the Dark Lord. My

parents aren't Death Eaters but they are definite supporters of his work."

"So Death Eaters have a leader, then?" James and Sirius were once again flabbergasted at her lack

of knowledge, especially since both of her parents were widely known followers.

"Lord Voldemort is the most evil of anyone in the Wizarding World. He was a Slytherin too.

He's killed thousands of Muggles and Muggle-borns. He hates them. He's powerful too. That's the biggest

problem is that no one can stop him." Sirius shook his head sadly.

"Wow." was all she was able to say. She leaned back in her chair and shook her head to clear her

thoughts. "This is all way too much information. Are we even safe then? All of us travelling openly by

train?"

"Oh yeah. Everyone knows Voldemort is afraid of Dumbledore." James said, with Sirius nodding.

"I heard he's crazy himself." James laughed at him, and nodded. Zarina was still confused.

"Who?"

Both boy's jaw dropped, and both seemed to slowly remember that she didn't know anything about

their, and her, own world.

"Unlike Voldemort, Dumbledore is the best. He's crazy powerful and awesome. He sees answers

that no one can solve. He is Voldemort's one major flaw and the reason why he hasn't taken over the world

yet." James informed her. Zarina was glad to hear that there was at least some good in this world she was

slowly becoming a part of.

The trainride began to pass quickly as both boys enjoyed filling her in on the fun oddities her new

world had to offer. Together they all laughed and teared up at each others antics, and all three had a hard

time breathing after the candy trolly came through. They somehow all laughed harder when Zarina asked

about pulling a rabbit from a hat.

While they told her of the Wizarding World, she told them of her life in America and the different

customs they had compared to Europe. The three of them all hid in their seats as Bridgette walked by,

peering into their compartment window. They enjoyed Exploding Snap, the game of cards that James had

brought along. All the while her parents were not brought back up, and all of them were playing and acting

like the eleven year-olds that they were.

_**A/N: I know it's a bit shorter than I normally do, but I promise that the next chapter is especially long. This chapter was 7 written pages, as the next chapter is 17. So, be prepared to look out for it! See you then!**_


	3. 3: The Letter Home

**CHAPTER 3**

_**A/N: Alrighty and I am back! I downloaded OpenOffice, and so it should look a little better than what it has been before. It's nice to actually have something better than notepad and/or wordpad. :D I hope you all enjoy! Beware, this is a long chapter!**_

The sorting was about to begin. The Great Hall was packed of hushed students eagerly awaiting. The small group of first years that shifted nervously were in awe as the sorting hat sang its song. Zarina had never seen something so magical- although the floating candles were pretty nifty.

As the Professor started the list of names ("Alamar, Steve!"), Zarina had the painfully nervous realization that she was the very last one. Silently she cursed her family name (the boy was sorted into Ravenclaw). James noticed Zarina's unease and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, Rina. We'll all be in Gryffindor together, and we will be able to chill every day. I'll even help you study if you want."

"You don't know if you'll be able to help or not!"

"That's right, you both will have to cheat off me!" joked Sirius. Both kids laughed in response.

"Black, Sirius!" The three of them instantly stopped laughing and watched as Sirius had the hat placed on his head. Within moments it yelled out "Gryffindor!" the hall erupted with cheers and Zarina was aware of a few jeers coming from the green table. She figured that must have been Slytherin. Sirius walked over to the table covered in red and sat down, but not before winking at a few girls.

The list continued on slowly.

"Evans, Lily!"

A very freckled redhead walked forward and Zarina watched as James' eyes followed. She rolled her own and sighed. She knew redheads were known for their temper. She would have to keep an eye out for her.

"Gryffindor!" The hat called out. James clapped along with the rest of the audience. Zarina couldn't help but scowl inwardly.

The hat was pulled off her head and the list continued on.

Zarina's stomach began to growl. Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and the rest were soon sorted and just as soon, James Potter was called.

"Potter, James!" '_Almost halfway done'_. She thought. Giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze and sat on the three-legged stool. The hat had barely touched his hair when it screamed out:

"Gryffindor!"

So far all of her friends belonged to that house. She wondered if she would be so lucky as to join them. The thought hadn't occurred that she might not.

She scanned the house tables quickly. She might do alright in Hufflepuff, but she hated to think of herself as average. She could be in Ravenclaw, but she knew she might struggle. Granted this wasn't elementary or middle school anymore, but she wasn't very good at studying. And then there was Slytherin.

Would she do well in that house, she wondered? She never thought of herself as evil, but she was sure her parents didn't either, and they had supposedly killed people.

"Scott, Bridgette!" Professor McGonnagal had recaptured her attention with the sorting. Her best friend. Zarina wondered what house she would end up in...

Bridgette had long curly long hair that she had always fashioned into low hanging pigtails. Her face was littered with freckles, and she was the only one Zarina knew that was proud of it. Her family were well off and highly sophisticated. Bridgette had three older sisters and a younger brother. She always looked up to her party-crazed sisters which had turned Bridgette's attention from cartoons, to boys at a very young age. Bridgette was the only one Zarina knew with a boyfriend at the age of seven.

"Slytherin!" the hat yelled. Zarina was momentarily confused. She thought she had heard Sirius call her a Muggle-born. Zarina thought it made sense since she didn't know anything about Bridgette's parents. But could that have been why? Maybe she had magical parents also. Even Zarina and her family had a telephone. Zarina made a mental note to ask Bridgette later.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts about her best friend being a witch that she didn't notice when Professor McGonnagal had called everyone else up, leaving her alone.

"Zilini, Zarina!" The Professor called.

Zarina blushed red when she heard a few passing whispers from her school mates. Slowly she walked up to the stool and inhaled deeply as she sat. Gripping the chair hair, and her eyes shut tightly, she felt the hat fall over her eyes.

"You have quite the interesting legacy to live up to little Rina. I think you shall in the end. You will be great where others fall." All of this she heard in her mind. It was a deep voice and resounded all over. She vaguely wondered if everyone in the Great Hall could hear it too.

"Are you ready?" was the hat's last question to her.

"Slytherin!" she could hear it echo throughout the Hall. So, she was set to follow her parent's legacy. This time she kept her head down as she went to the only cheering table.

Unexpectedly she was grabbed into an embrace.

"You're a witch! You're a Slytherin also! Oh Rina, we can share everything now! This is so amazing!" Bridgette was laughing and pulling her to sit down. Across from the girls sat a tall boy, possibly fifteen or so, with silver-blonde hair. He gave Rina a wink and turned back to his stunningly beautiful blonde girlfriend.

Bridgette began talking quickly, but Zarina barely heard her.

"Sorry, B." Zarina shook her head. "I'll be right back." Without another word, Zarina left the shocked and indignant Bridgette sitting by herself.

Zarina walked over to the two boys that she had met on the trai. She saw that James was already trying to talk to the Evans girl, but she was obviously not giving him the time of day. Sirius wasn't bothering talking at all, but shoving food in his face.

"Hey guys!" She said warily as she approached. James quickly turned his attention away from the redhead, to the young girl walking to them.

They both could hear Sirius' last gulp of food as he answered, "Rina! Pleasant surprise. Have you tried the pudding?"

"No, I haven't." she grinned.

"Shame. So what's up? Sucks you got put into Slytherin."

"Yeah, it does." James agreed.

"That's what I wanted to ask about." She shifted nervously. "Can we still be friends and hang out when we get a chance?"

"Of course!" James answered first. Sirius gave him a skeptical glance.

"Great!" Zarina grinned widely and walked back to her own table. Sirius nudged him in the ribs.

"You can't promise that, mate!" he shook his head, looking after Zarina as she rejoined Bridgette. "Look," he continued, "She's already friends with the chick who was throwing stuff at me! I live with a house full of Slytherins; this isn't going to end well."

"You can give it a try, I guess. I wouldn't mind having her hang around, but how are you going to stop them from getting to her?" Already they could see other first year boys talking to the girls. It was obvious Zarina was faking interest, but her friend seemed very attentive.

"I have an idea." he winked at his friend.

Zarina was happy to see her class schedule. It had been one of the perks she had been looking forward to. Obviously it wasn't Bridgettes when she moaned loudly.

"Double History Of Magic? That sound terrible!" She pouted. "And we have them with the Gryffindors." At this she wrinkled her nose.

"Don't tell me you don't like them either!" Zarina whined. Not only did they have Double History Of Magic with them, but also Potions- the class she was most excited about. Aside from Transfiguration.

"And you do? I bet it's because of those boys. You're more like me than you care to admit, young lady!"

"It's not because of them! I just don't think we should dislike people just because of what house they are in."

"Yeah, right." Bridgette rolled her eyes and stuffed her schedule in her pocket. Zarina took one last look at her schedule before putting it away also.

"Can we just go to Herbology? I'm kind of anxious to get started."

"Why, Rina? We're going to be here for the next seven years. Why be anxious?" she whined. Zarina took to Bridgette's own gesture and rolled her eyes.

Together the girls headed outside to the beautiful sunny day and the bright billowing grass. Gossiping, they met the other first year Slytherins and Ravenclaws in front of the Greenhouse. A few of the boys and girls scowled at Zarina and Bridgette, who in turn started to stick her tongue out. The girls walked up to a group of first year Slytherins and joined in on their conversation.

"-They are nothing but a bunch of nerds, anyhow. More than half are Mudbloods."

"-Mudbloods shouldn't even be allowed here."

"My mom said that Lucy Karl's mom was born a Squib, and that her father is a Mudblood, so how she ever became a witch is improbable."

Zarina didn't like what she was hearing, not did she really care. The Professor had finally come and unlocked the greenhouse door. Her first lesson of her first year was about to start.

Two hours later and their first class was over. Unfortunately they didn't get to do anything exciting today. It was mostly just introductions. Zarina had a sinking feeling that the rest of the lessons today were going to be the same way.

And sure enough it was. After Herbology was Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Flying (Zarina was a little nervous, but also disappointed that they didn't actually get to ride today), and Astrology later that night. Rina vaguely wondered if she would get in trouble for sleeping in class.

By the end of the week, Zarina was exhausted. She wasn't used to waking up on her own, and certainly not used to this sort of material to cover. By Friday she had three essays to write and over fifteen chapters all together to read for her classes. It was only her fear of being left behind that kept her ahead and in the library. It was here that James and Sirius found her.

"Zilini!" Sirius yelled at the entrance. A bottle of ink zoomed by his head, barely missing.

"Quiet in the library!" A loud whisper came from behind the desk. Madam Pince, the librarian, had another ink bottle ready to throw in her hand.

"Yikes..." James muttered. Sirius rolled his eyes, and sat with the little Slytherin with James beside him.

"Yeah, she's kind of scary. She hates me because I can't write well with a quill so it scratches a lot." Zarina whispered to them.

"She can kiss my arse if she thinks she can throw another ink bottle at my head."

"Sirius!" Rina giggled, but stopped immediately after receiving a glare from Madam Pince.

James grabbed Zarina's homework and looked it over.

"Not to shabby. But this isn't due till next Wednesday... Why are you doing it now?"

"So she can hide it from you, so you can't copy!" Sirius smirked. James rolled his eyes in response.

"Whatever. How are you liking being a witch? Pretty cool, huh?"

"Like its any different for you; this is the first time you're able to use magic!" She huffed.

"Still. _I_ at least knew about this world." Zarina shook her head, trying to suppress a grin.

"So anyways..." She was trying to think of a good way to bring up a difficult subject.

"Whats up?" Sirius caught her shifting gaze. James caught it too, and out of the corner of his eyes he could see the librarian watching them closely.

"Let's go outside. We still have a while before dinner." Sirius caught sight of Madam Pince eavesdropping and nodded.

Both boys stood up and helped Zarina pack her bag. The three of them headed out to the grounds, joking about the hawk librarian as they went. They didn't notice the odd stares they were receiving.

Finally, under a tree, Zarina explained her concerns.

"Bridgette is taking the whole Slytherin versus everybody house-thing way too seriously for my liking. She's saying mean things about people." The boys caught each others gaze and they weren't sure of what to say.

"Rina, that battle has been going on for years."

"Yeah, you really can't change something like that overnight."

"Well, she knows I hate her saying things like 'Mudblood' and stuff. I don't get it, personally. It all hurts my head. It was like this in America about things too."

"Really?"

"I thought that you didn't know anyone magical out there?"

"It's not about magic, but about race and color and stupid stuff like that."

"Okay..."

"Weird..."

"And stupid!" she cried out in frustration. "I don't want to be apart of this hateful stuff."

Neither boys said anything. They hated the terms as much as anyone else, but they never thought about the whole thing being considered stupid.

"Well..." James started slowly, "don't be a part of it?"

"But Bridgette is all for it. Apparently her parents are pure bloods also and she hears this talk all of the time. She says its natural. She says I shouldn't talk to you guys anymore..." she looked down as she said this, unsure of what they would say.

"You don't want to be a part of that do you? You just said it yourself that you thought it was all stupid." James pointed out. Sirius bit his lip. This was an odd scenario. A pure blood without the hatred? A Slytherin without the evil? Was all of this even plausible? His mind seemed overloaded with contradictions.

"I don't want to be a part of it, James, but how do I escape it all?"

"Hang out with us." he said it like it was the simplest thing ever.

"Yeah, you don't have to hang out with them all of the time."

"Exactly, we'll give you the password to the Gryffindor tower and any time you feel the need to escape them, come see us." James rubbed her shoulders sympathetically.

"Really?" She smiled widely and looked between the two of them. Their caring nature was unexpected in comparison to the cold people she met in her own common room throughout the week.

After reassurance throughout the first few weeks, Zarina was going in and out of the Gryffindor common like she belonged there. This didn't go unnoticed by either of the houses or those that ruled over them.

The Slytherins called her names at first. Things such as 'blood traitor' and 'filth' filled her ears. Zarina had turned to her best friend in her time of need and asked her to get them to stop, but all she was willing to help with was getting everyone else to ignore her. Something that Zarina didn't find too terrible, just lonesome.

The Gryffindors on the other hand, loved the idea. Once they were used to it, however. Zarina was soon termed 'The Adopted Slytherin'. Every year in the house knew her and respected her choice to get away. Even if the boys accidentally forgot that the password had changed that morning, a passing Gryffindor would help her out.

It wasn't too long before Professor Slughorn called Zarina down to his office. To Zarina's surprise, Professor McGonnagal was with him. She suddenly felt her throat constrict as it seemed that her heart had jumped into it. Sitting in a chair in front of them, she started playing with a hem on her skirt, biting her lip subconsciously, and her blue eyes staring hard at the ground. She didn't do well when she thought she was getting into trouble.

Professor McGonnagal was the first one to speak.

"Miss Zilini... do you know why we've called you down to your Head of House office?" Her voice wasn't angry, but it was classic stern McGonnagal.

"Because I've been going into the Gryffindor Common Room?" She replied weakly.

Professor Slughorn coughed and cleared his throat before he began to speak.

"Is there a reason why you don't want to be in your own common room with your own House?"

"To be honest, sir, yes." She looked to the both of them, measuring their anger levels. Neither appeared testy, therefore she continued:

"I don't appreciate how they view things. Even my best friend has turned against me in this sense."

"Please elaborate, child." Slughorn urged her.

"All of the nonsense about being of status. Whether you're a pure blood or not. I don't like all of the slander and hatred."

"That is understandable, but why turn to the Gryffindor house?" McGonnagal's tone of voice was one she hadn't heard before. Was she really the first Slytherin to have an issue with blood status?

"Well, two boys I became good friend with were sorted into that house. They were helping me relax and comforting me, but we only saw each other at lunch and dinner. All of the Slytherins would be mean to me during class, where and when the guys couldn't help me! Bridgette got the others to stop calling me names, but they still did it when she had her back turned, and even when she was there they that still didn't stop them..." Zarina took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"And so the guys gave me the password to the tower so I could escape from the jeers and harassment. The other Gryffindors didn't seem to mind me being there, and they even will give me the password if the Fat Lady changes it without me knowing."

Neither professor said anything. Surely this was a special case, but could- or would- they allow her to continue? Was it against any rules?

"I'm not sleeping in any of the dorms, and I'm back in my own dorm by the time curfew sets it. I just feel better there, and everyone in the Gryffindor house has been okay with me being there. I wont cause any trouble, I promise Professors..."

Professor Slughorn was flabbergasted that anyone in his house would want to be in a different one. Professor McGonnagal took over the conversation.

"That is all very well, Miss Zilini, but I'm not sure if this can continue. There is a reason why everyone is sorted into houses."

"I understand that ma'am, but if I can't go into the Gryffindor Tower, where can I escape them?" her voice cracked unwillingly. Professor McGonnagal sighed.

"Who were the boys that let you into the tower the first time?" she asked. Her voice was back to being Teacher Authority again.

"James Potter and Sirius Black." Zarina mumbled.

Again, the professor sighed.

"I had a feeling those two were going to cause trouble." shaking her head, she continued:

"I will permit this, Miss Zilini, but there will be rules in place, most of which you have been doing already."

Zarina's face lifted in excitement, and hope filled her blue eyes.

"You will be allowed in the Common Room, but you are forbidden to go into the dorms.

"You can be there up to 7:30 p.m. Throughout the week and 8:30 on the weekend. That will give you a half hour to reach your own common room by curfew. Break these terms and you will no longer be allowed these privileges.

"I will inform Mr. Potter and Mr. Black of these terms also. It will be up to them to keep you informed of the passwords. If you do not hear from them what they are, you are not allowed entry. They helped you get into this and together you three will remain in this situation. My house will be informed of this also. It's not to say that no other student is allowed to give you the password, but I don't want you to go around pestering the students in my house just so you can enter. You do technically belong in Slytherin, so if no Gryffindor feels fit enough to give it you, then tough luck." Slughorn nodded in agreement.

"Yes, yes that sounds marvelous, Professor. I think the three of us can agree to these terms. I, too, will talk to my- our house about the use of these obviously inappropriate terms that are going around. I will, however, keep this agreement between all present company. I don't think it'll be necessary for anyone else to think this is acceptable behavior to isolate any more students. Agreed?" both McGonnagal and Zarina nodded. She couldn't believe her luck. Although she did wonder how Slughorn's speech was going to be received.

It was worse than Zarina could have imagined. The Slytherin House seemed to know that she was the one behind the nagging speech about house unity, and they took it as a personal insult that she should "tattle" on them. It only proved to isolate her further, except for the occasional jinx that would affect her bags and clothes.

It was Bridgette who caught up with her in the hallway the next day.

"You went and blabbed to the teachers?" She was furious.

"No, I didn't." Zarina pulled her arm out of her friend's grasp.

"Then what the hell was that all about?"

"I don't know, maybe the Professors pay more attention to the happiness of their students more so than their own friends do." Zarina replied scathingly. Bridgette eyed her darkly.

"How coincidental of them to notice." her voice oozed with sarcasm.

"So are you just going to continue to hide in _their_ dorms and become a blood traitor too?" Zarina searched her friend's face, but it was completely unreadable and unrecognizable.

"And you're going to be like the rest of the jerks who call me names? I thought we were friends, Bridgette, _best _friends. Why are you treating me like this?"

"Why are you acting like _them_!" She asked furiously. Her temper was beginning to rise ferociously. "We are your house, we are your family-" she stopped abruptly and Zarina's eyes grew in fear. She knew why Bridgette had stopped in midsentence.

"Your parents."

"No, Bridgette, please, if we were ever friends then for the sake of what it was, please don't say anything to them!" she pleaded. She would get down on knees if she had to.

"Your parents have a right to know how you feel, Rina. How you are friendly to the Mudbloods and traitors. How you would prefer to be in their house rather than your own-"

"Bridgette! Stop! Please, don't say anything to them!"

"Oh, I wont say anything, Rina. But you will. I'm going to make sure you write a letter to them explaining just how much of a blood traitor you're turning out to be. Maybe they can get to you better than anyone or myself could. We are only looking out for you. Maybe if you told them what kind of blasphemy you're doing at school, they can teach you and you can understand what kind of horrible nonsense you are doing!"

"I'm not going to write to them, Bridgette. They don't need to know about this."

"If you don't, I will. I'll be sure to tell them how you're in love with the blood traitor, Potter. How it's November and you're already joining their ranks. What do you think they'll say, Zarina? What do you think they'll do? Maybe they'll be extremely hurt or extremely angry... don't you think so?"

Zarina knew she wasn't just using an empty threat. She would follow through if Zarina didn't agree to write the letter in front of her.

She stared hard at her friend, trying to find a loop hole. It was passed 7:30; she wouldn't be able to talk to the boys about this tonight. Not good. She wasn't sure how to deal with Bridgette anymore. Not like this, anyways.

"Fine. I'll write the damned letter, B. But I don't want to do it tonight. Can it at least wait till morning?"

"Alright. But we will do it first thing in the morning. Then you can let all you're little traitor friends know whats going on."

Zarina rolled her eyes. "Fine." she muttered, and pushed passed Bridgette, making her way to the first year dorms. Thankfully it was still early enough none of the other girls were in the room yet. Drawing all of the curtains around her bed, she repressed a crying shudder. She had to be strong. She was going to receive one of the worst letters she had ever gotten. She had a fear that it wasn't going to end well. She thought of her mother's look at James and his parents. Zarina groaned into the pillow. '_No,'_ she thought_ 'This isn't going to end well at all.'_.

The next morning, Zarina was reluctantly dragged down to the common room by Bridgette. She had parchment, quills, and ink in one hand, and the other was forcefully dragging the girl behind her.

"Let me go, B, I can walk on my own, you know." Rina was _not_ a morning person, and being dragged out of her bed at eight in the morning on a weekend was _not_ a way to make her friendly towards anyone.

"Doesn't matter, Rina, because you are going to sit down and tell your parents what a terrible child you're being."

Zarina bit back her retort. The quicker she wrote this letter, the quicker she could run away from this horrid room of people. She sat down and started writing, Bridgette peering over her shoulder, watching, and waiting for any attempt of a breakaway.

_Mother and Father,_

_At the kindness of my 'Friends' here at Hogwarts, they felt the need for me to let you know of my recent actions. _

_I have been termed the 'Adopted Slytherin' by the Gryffindors. I have been granted special privileges by Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonnagal to enter the Gryffindor Common Room whenever I feel the need. My reason for being a 'blood traitor' is because I do not like this racial war between the houses or even outside of the school. So, Bridgette is making me write this letter or else she said she was going to. I will not be coming home for the holidays this year either._

_Love you bunches,_

_Rina_

"There, now was that so bad?" Bridgette said coaxingly. Rina just eyed her 'friend' critically. Without saying a word, Zarina left the Slytherin Common Room.

It wasn't until after the owlery and once Opal had taken off did Bridgette leave with a proud smirk. Once she had left did the silent tears fall. She was about to be disowned by her family and she knew it. Four months into finding out she was a witch and already her best friend had turned against her. She didn't want to loose Bridgette as a friend, but she didn't know how she was ever going to be able to talk to her again.

Without realizing where she was going, Zarina was startled to find herself in front of the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Password?" it had snapped her out of her daze.

"Oh, um... Butterscotch."

"Righty-O!" The Fat Lady swung forward on her hinges, letting the little girl in.

Zarina walked in through the hole and looked at the time. An hour had gone by since Bridgette had forced her to write the letter. The boys would be awakening soon, she realized.

A few of the older students had already started filling the warm room and some had already started to head downstairs for breakfast. None of them were surprised to see Zarina sitting in the couch reading a book, waiting for her friends to awaken.

After a few minutes of patiently waiting, James, Sirius, Remus Lupin and followed quickly by little Peter Pettigrew.

"Morning, Rina." Sirius plopped on the couch next to her, messing up her purposefully as he yawned.

James and Remus sat across from them in matching armchairs and Peter sat on the floor, his head propped up on the table, eyes closed.

"If you're so tired, Peter, why not go back to bed?" Sirius threw a pillow at the boy.

Completely unaware until the pillow hit him, Peter squealed loudly, making everyone laugh.

"I-I'm fine." instead of throwing the pillow back, he stuffed it under his chin and was back to sleep in record time. Sirius merely shook his head.

"So what's up, Rina? You're here early. Don't you normally sleep in on weekends like normal kids?" James teased.

Zarina stuck her tongue out at him, replying "I would have if Bridgette didn't yank me out of bed this morning." As playful as her words should have been, she said them with a somber tone. It was only now that the three boys noticed just how red her eyes were.

"Why'd she do that?" Remus asked. His voice was full of concern for the girl. This wasn't the first time she had met him, but it was only a handful of times. Yet she couldn't help but trust him. The three of them had learned early on, through Zarina, that anything Bridgette did was always to the extreme.

Zarina shifted uncomfortably. "She made me write a letter home."

"Is that all?" James' expression relaxed and he even started chuckling.

"You don't understand! This wasn't a normal 'Hi, how are you?' letter! She made me write about me how becoming a blood traitor, saying how I wished I was obviously a Gryffindor since I dishonor my own house by coming here. My father isn't going to like this, I just know it..."

Everyone, but the sleeping Peter, had the same expression. The Zilini's had been known for their extreme measures and their great distrust and hatred of anyone associated with blood traitors or Muggle-borns. The four of them automatically turned to the window, almost imagining her barred owl appearing with a howler (or a very nasty letter in Zarina's mind since she didn't know of howlers). All four of them shuddered the image out of their mind.

"Well, being different than your family isn't so bad, Rina. I'm hated by all of my family except for my Uncle for some reason." Sirius grinned widely at her.

Zarina only groaned. James and Remus laughed however.

"Not everyone enjoys being a family outcast, Sirius." James managed to say between breaths. Sirius only shrugged the joke off.

"Can we at least go down for breakfast? The owl isn't going to be coming back today, it'll need to rest by the time it makes it to her house. That and I'm starving."

"You're the only person I know that wakes up hungry, Black." James shook his head. The group stood up, and stared at the boy snoring loudly below them.

"Should we wake him?" Zarina asked.

"We should probably let him sleep." Remus said quietly. The others nodded and quietly left the sleeping boy.


	4. 4: The Letter Received

**CHAPTER 4**

_**A/N: I want to thank Nikki500 for the fave; it's nice to get some lovin' :D**_

_**Also, I would like thank CelticCrossing for the wonderful review and alert. 3 It's inspired me to continue to keep on writing, especially knowing that there are people who enjoy hearing her story. :D Thank you!**_

_**And, I want to give everyone a head's up that this is another extremely long chapter. (I love it!) So please be prepared! Here we go!**_

It wasn't until a week later that Zarina received any mail from her parents. It only contained one word on the parchment. In her father's handwriting it read:

_Fine_

No 'I still love you', 'You're in huge trouble when you get home', or even 'Don't ever speak to us again,'. Zarina wasn't sure how exactly to take this.

"That's all he wrote? What a prick. What do you think it's supposed to mean?" asked Sirius. They were all on the grounds by the lake when Opal had returned bearing the script. They had been in the process of building snowball forts- Rina and jamees versus Sirius and Remus. Peter was in charge of lookout- they were planning on this being an extremely ugly game. They had all paused their efforts and were huddled around her note.

"Well, I did say that I wasn't coming home for the holidays... maybe that's what he's replying to?" she wondered allowed.

"Maybe they have accepted the fact that you don't want to be apart of this war?" Remus mused.

"No, I doubt they would be okay with it. When my mother first told me I was a witch, she said for me to remember that I am better than all of those to who choose to pollute their blood."

"Huh, brutal." James ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you can at least get Scott to stop bugging you about their reply." Zarina groaned.

"I forgot about Bridgette. She's going to be so mad about the note. I honestly think she wanted to see me get into trouble."

"I'm sure she did, if she forced you to write them in the first place." Remus commented. He didn't like this reply from her father. He wondered vaguely their reaction when they had first received it. It was an unpleasant thought.

"Yeah..." Zarina bit her lip. It was Sunday and she was going to have to back in her own common room by eight o'clock tonight. Not only that, but she was going to be stuck next to Bridgette in all of her classes tomorrow.

Throughout the week, the only words Bridgette would say to her was "Well?". Now that she finally had her answer, Rina wondered how she would take the news. Zarina groaned a the thought.

"So you're not going home for the Christmas holidays next week?" James asked. He was tossing a snowball between his hands. He was obviously itching to start the snowball war.

"Nope. I'm too afraid to now." She laughed weakly.

"Well, come with me to my house. My mum keeps asking about you anyways. She doesn't understand how Ziren Zilini has managed to raise a sweet and adorable little girl." He winked at her.

"Are you sure if it's okay that I stay that long?"

"I don't know what your mum is talking about Jamesie, Rina is anything but a sweet girl." Sirius smirked playfully. Zarina's reaction was to punch him in the arm.

"Yeah," James laughed, "I'll write her in the common room when we go to dry off. I'm sure it'll be okay." He threw the snowball he had been tossing between his hands at Sirius and yelled, "Never call me 'Jamesie' again! This is war!"

Laughing, everyone ran to their posts and began to throw wildly at each other. After a little while, Peter began to keep score, making the game even more competative.

After a long fun filled day of throwing snowballs at each other, the gang retreated back into the Gryffindor Common Room. Soon, Sirius and Remus were having to drag the passed out Peter up to the dorms, leaving Zarina and James alone.

"I really appreciate you inviting me over for the holidays. You sure it's going to be okay?"

"Yeah, it's not going to be a problem. My parents don't care. Here, I'll even write the letter now."

He pulled out a piece of parchment out of a student's nearby bag and began to scrawl quickly across it.

"Thanks for reminding me. Yeah, it won't be a problem, so no more worries. Are you going to let your parents know that you're coming over?" His face full of concern.

"No... probably not. I'll let them think that I'm staying here and leave with you on the train." She smiled earnestly at him. She was excited for this trip. She would be able to spend quality time with James, something she really hadn't had done since Sirius came into their compartment on the train.

"Okay, that works then. I'll let you know what my mum and dad say." His charming smile faltered when he looked at the time. "you probably should be heading out... I'd hate for McGonnagal to get us in trouble right before the holidays. Normally I wouldn't care, but you're just an innocent victim." He winked. Her cheeks immediately flushed red and her blue eyes darted down. It only caused him to grin wider.

"Yeah, I guess." she stumbled over her words.

He leaned in a little closer.

"Do you I make you nervous, Rina?" His eyes flashed with excitement.

"No!" Her face was beet red, and him coming closer wasn't helping the color drain from her face. She stood up quickly, her stammer increasing.

"I should be leaving, you're right. M-McGonnagal will be mad. So, um... I'll see you at breakfast then."

James couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, Rina. See you in the morning then." Rina quickly waved and ran out of the portrait hole.

The next morning James received the letter from his parents that sealed the deal. Zarina would be spending the Christmas Holidays at the Potters.

No matter what the other Slytherins would do to her (one morning she found out she couldn't open her curtains), nothing could extinguish her excitement. Despite Bridgette's constant nagging about what she was up to, Zarina didn't fall victim to her. She was proud of herself for this. Things started finally going right.

Zarina was in love with school. She had a competitor in every class, and whether they knew it or not, they helped her exceed. In Potions it was Sallie Cartwright, a Gryffindor first year obsessed over Potions. She also happened to agree that the pen is mightier than the quill, so she even let Zarina borrow one when they were in the library together since she too hated the sound of the quill scratching.

In Charms with the Hufflepuffs, it was a bouncy girl named Dimitri Walburn. It took a while for Dimitri to talk back to Zarina, for it was Zarina who was too amazed by the girls' constant sparkling nails, that she had to find out how she did them (Charms, ironically). Dimitri had been kind enough to show her the wandwork for it.

She also had Transfiguration with the Gryffindors on Thursdays. She was the only one in green amongst the sea of red. Zarina loved this class. She was constantly surrounded by her friends, and McGonnagal didn't take any smartmouth from the other Slytherins so Zarina was safe from their taunting.

It also helped that three of the four Marauders (as they were calling themselves now), happened to excel exceedingly in this class. Poor Peter struggled to keep up in any of the classes. Zarina fed on their positive energy. Yes, Thursdays were her favorite days.

But Zarina knew better than to speak of these feelings towards anyone. She was afraid the boys would find her weird or a nuisance if she wasn't just their friend. If she told them how insecure she really was, well, they had an inkling of it already, she knew. But she had vowed to herself that they wouldn't know the extent of it.

And that brought up her only fear this Christmas trip. If she got too close to James, would he not see her as the scared individual that she really was? She couldn't let that happen. As much as he fantasized about it, _somehow, _becoming James' girlfriend, there was no way should could be. Not until she settled all of these demons inside her self. That was her promise.

"Are you ready?" A soothing voice asked behind her, causing Zarina to nearly jump out of her skin.

It was James with a suitcase behind him and his large barn owl sitting atop. It was next to the large pile similar luggage, all ready to board the train.

She could only smile back. "Yep, sure am!"

"Great, then let's go!" his grin became wider as the two friends headed down the road to find an empty carriage. They were deep into a talk of Quidditch (James had stopped dead in his tracks when he realized she had no idea of any of the dynamics of the greatest sport ever), when a wolf whistle sounded behind them.

Startled and somewhat amused, they turned around. The rest of the Marauders were running up to them.

"So you're going to leave us behind, just like that?" Sirius shook his head, 'tsk'-ing. "So in love are we that we forget out friends?" Peter had to suppress his giggles as Zarina's face turned bright red and she started stammering again. Even James had to laugh at her, which unfortunately didn't help her skin color.

Remus laughed quietly with them and patted her on the back.

"He was only kidding, you know." He whispered to her. Zarina exhaled quietly, amazing at how much air she had been holding in. Thankfully neither of the two troublesome boys paid either of them attention. Something that Zarina was increasingly grateful for.

"Are you going to be okay, spending the next two weeks at his house?" Remus raised an eyebrow at her as they managed to squeeze into a carriage. Sirius had kindly filled Zarina's spot in talking to James about Quidditch. Peter sat between them, eagerly listening to them both. That left Remus and Zarina to talk at ease to each other. Even with the boys right across from them, they both knew that Quidditch talk could last up to eight hours, something they had timed before.

"I-I...um... I think so?" She said unsure of herself. Zarina had tried not to think about it too great of detail. Although, that didn't stop her from thinking- and dreaming- about what _could _happen.

Remus smiled kindly at her.

"Do you have a game plan at all?"

She sighed. "No..." That was what she should have been thinking about, _not_ about... well... not about _that _anyways.

Remus' smile only enlarged. The boys were still going strong in their Quidditch talk.

"Don't worry too much about it, Rina. James invited Sirius, Peter and I over for Christmas dinner and to crash over for a few nights. Mainly he wants to spend time with you, but I think his parents might have been the ones to suggest us coming over."

Zarina didn't know what to think of this new information. '_James actually wanted to spend time alone with me?' _she thought, '_Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..._'. The words repeated over and over in her mind.

"You're really pale, are you alright?" Remus couldn't help but try and hold in the laugher.

"Y-yeah, I guess I am okay. I've never had anything like this happen before."

"Don't think too much about it then. Just let it happen. After all, it's just a sleepover. You've had those before, right?"

"Yeah, but no boys were allowed and we all slept in the same bed."

Remus thought that over for a second.

"And would it be bad if you two did sleep in the same bed?"

It was Zarina's turn to think before she answered. "He might snore loudly and I might not get any sleep." She wondered vague about what the boy-crazed Bridgette would have answered. Remus couldn't hold in his laughter this time. Unfortunately his laughter caused Sirius and James to look over in confusion.

"What's so funny?" James asked.

Both Remus and Zarina shook their heads, unable to answer while they were laughing. The boys shook their heads and resumed their conversation.

"Don't worry, Rina. If you need anything, send Opal to get us. Sirius and I don't live very far from Godric's Hollow." Zarina nodded, thanking Remus repeatedly.

The carriages brought the kids outside Hogsmeade and to the school's platform for the train. At this point all of them had joined in for the Quidditch talk; Zarina finally understood the concept of the game.

The train ride back to London went by just as quickly. Now that Zarina understood the game better, she was throwing out all kinds of questions at the boys about the school teams. Soon it was dusk and the train was slowing down. By the time all of them had changed into street clothes and finished off their sweets, the train was a stop. They could see parents and other siblings, not quite old enough themselves to attend school, waiting patiently.

The five of them left the train, grabbing their belongings as they went.

Sirius was the first to disband (almost unwillingly and with a sure guarantee that he would be over at James' real soon), to his parents and younger brother.

His mother and father, Zarina recognized, had been one of the families to approach her own on the platform on September 1st. They both were stern looking, with an air of disapproval about them. Zarina was startled to see how much Sirius's younger brother resembled him. He was slender, and even though he was still young, Zarina could tell that he was going to be another heart throb like his brother. The only difference was his finely clipped hair that was dark brown was around his ears and not near his neck, like Sirius's.

Remus was the next to find his parents. He high-fived the guys and gave Zarina a reassuring hug and left. His mother had a strained face, as if a lifetime of hardship was finally pressing down on her. She had mousey brown hair with streaks of gray that had once matched her sons. His father looked lovingly at his son. He was tall himself, and as Zarina noticed, he didn't carry a worn look on his face, but in his light brown eyes.

Peter scrambled off quickly to his mother and younger sister, waving at the remaining group of his friends. His mother was short and round like he was, looking as though she could loose a few pounds. The little girl looked only to be three or four and already had long curly blonde hair. She would be cute when she got older depending on what their father looked like.

So now it was time to look for James' parents with him. They weren't too far away from the platform when they heard his mother's voice:

"Jamie!" James moaned, causing Zarina to giggle. They pushed their way through the thinning crowd and found his parents. James looked even more like his father than she remembered. Hugs were received by the both of them as they all headed out of the the train station. They were drowned in questions about the school year and classes, allowing Zarina to answer but keep her mid on other important questions.

Questions like how they were going to get home if they weren't headed to the parking lot.

Instead, the family plus one passed the snow covered parking lot and into a quiet restaurant.

"Mr. Potter, where are we going?" She asked his father in confusion.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. We're going to use Floo Powder to get home. How did your family get here if not by Floo Powder? Side-Along Apparition?" Now it was his turn to give her a confused look.

"Uh no, we took a car."

"A what?"

James smacked his forehead. "Those giant contraptions that Muggles use to get places." Realization dawned on his father's face as he laughed heartily.

"Those death-traps? No, little Zarina, we wont be taking those. We live in an all wizarding community so we can use the Floo Network whenever possible, since Jamie here doesn't like apparition."

"And the name Jamie." he mumbled under his breath, loud enough that only Zarina could hear, causing her to grin broadly.

"So what's the Floo Network?" she asked, returning to the conversation.

"Jamie told us how your parents sheltered you from our world." his mother stated, her pretty smile turning down in the corners.

"Anyways," His father continued, "Floo Powder is a powder that you throw into a pre-selected fireplace. It allows you to travel to any other fireplace that has been pre-selected (the Floo Network runs this, see?). All of the fireplaces have nicknames to along with them. Whether they be the nickname of a home or the name of a store, it will transport you to whichever one you say, as long as you say it clearly."

The idea seemed easy and understandable to her but she had no idea how this could possibly be plausable.

The family went to the back of the restaurant, past the dining hall and the kitchen and into the back main office. The door had been left open, and yet no one was inside. Zarina could hear the kitchen workers calling out orders, ignoring the families walking through with their owls, cats and even rats.

"Don't worry about them, Rina. They're Muggles. There is a protective charm on this place that allows them not to see or hear us. They think there is a wall in the middle of this kitchen hallway so they don't walk too far and run into us." James explained. Zarina was once again amused at the secrecy of this world.

"So what do they think of this office?" She asked him. James only shrugged.

"I'm not sure what they see."

"They see it as the broken freezer that for some reason, the cheap company that owns the place, wont repair." A wheezy voice walked passed them; it was a short balding man that hopped up onto a stool.

"Names?" he wheezed out.

"For what?" Zarina asked. He didn't answer but gave her a scathing look. She instantly bit her lip. James grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Are you lot going to tell me your names? You're holding up the line." The old man began coughing loudly.

"Yes, yes." James's father answered the gruff man, "We are Dorea and Charlus Potter. This is our son James and his young friend Zarina Zilini." The old man was scribbling on a checklist when he peered at the little girl.

"This Zilini's are back in town?" he asked her. His bloodshot eyes were wide. James knew what he meant by that question and cut Zarina off before she could say anything about her parents.

"No, Merlin, no. We all hope not. Unfortunately this lass has a distant relation to them, that's all." he covered for her quickly.

"Oh... okay." he said slowly. "Head on through. Just keep your arms, ears, and feet inside the fire and speak clearly." he recited in a boring tone, causing him to cough more.

"I'll just go first then, shall I?" Charlus Potter cleared his throat and yet the man paid no attention.

"Potter Homestead!" he called out clearly and with the green flames, Charlus Potter spun and disappeared.

"Do you understand how to do it, Rina?" James asked her. Zarina nodded and gulped. He nudged her forward into the ashes. Inhaling a deep breath, she called out:

"Potter Homestead!"

She spun around quickly on the spot at a very dizzying rate. All she could see was bright green flames and bits and pieces of people's homes. Soon the ashes started to feel as if they were choking her. Finally she felt firm ground. Before she could catch her balance, she toppled over her own feet and fell out of the fireplace.

Firm hands picked her up from the ground and she could feel them shaking with laughter.

"Sorry dear, should have have told you about the rough landing." Charlus helped the young girl up. She smiled with an ashy streaked face.

"That was a blast!" She exclaimed, " No wonder so many people travel that way! What a rush!" They both laughed loudly and soon a "whoosh!" sound was heard and James came coughing out of the fire.

"Accidentally inhaled during the trip." he took of his glasses and rubbed them clean on the inside of his shirt. When he could finally see clearly he began laughing. He then grabbed Zarina's hand and pulled her close to him.

"I thought it may have been my glasses, but all of the ash in your hair has aged you like fifty years." He grinned, his hand gently shaking out her short black hair. Zarina blushed, but took the moment to ease the feeling and replied back.

"I'm not the only one!" She started picking out the ash in his own untidy hair. Neither of them realized that his mother had arrived and had ushered her husband out of the living room, leaving the two kids to themselves.

Once they ran out of ash in each others hair, the kids started to name off options of things to do.

"We can have a snowball fight." she suggested, trying to break up the rapid beating of her heart.

"We can fly. I can show you Quidditch now that you understand how to play." He grinned at her unease.

"That sounds awesome! But I don't have a broom. The only times I've flown was in class." She frowned. She thought of herself as a decent flyer, but she wasn't sure of her comparison.

"Thats alright, I have a few extra." He winked and led her outside to the broom closet.

This was how they spent most of their time together. Laughing, throwing snowball-pretending to be snitches, and then coming inside to sip on hot chocolate (Zarina insisted on showing them how to make it) and warming up next to each other by a normal fire.

Christmas morning Zarina had received a very merry letter from her parents.

_Zarina,_

_Be sure to thank the Potters for their hospitality. Bridgette is over this morning to give your father and I your Christmas present. We have all of the information we need. We'll see you when you return home for the summer._

_Your present will be a special someone that will come over in the summer and give you all of the attention you need, at the hands of one of your peers._

_Love You, _

_Nicollette Zilini_

"Your mom signs her name? That's weird." James pointed out. Zarina angrily crumpled up the letter and threw it away.

Mrs. Potter set down the Christmas turkey on the table. Ham would be served once the other guests arrived.

"Everything okay, Rina?" over the last week, she had taken a liking to the young girl's nickname.

"My mom says I'm not allowed to come home until summer. Apparently Bridgette told them I was here." She signed. She would keep the other half to herself. No need to get his parents worried.

"How did Bridgette find out you were here?" His face darkened at the thought of her.

"She's my neighbor. She saw me get on the train and leave with you. I don't know why I didn't think of her going to them." she moaned internally.

"Well that's no fun on Christmas." Mrs. Potter said, "If you want, dear, you can come spend the Easter Holidays here if you both don't decide to stay at the castle."

"Thank you Mrs. Potter, it's a very nice thought." she sighed. She didn't want to go back home over the summer, especially if it meant that someone in her own house was going to come over. Bridgette was going to be there too no doubt, but this 'special attention' wasn't going to end well. But she couldn't hide from her parents all summer.

"Not a problem, dearie, just doing what we can to help." She gave Zarina a sympathetic smile. Quickly she turned to her son as everyone sat down to eat.

"Jamie, when are your friends coming over?" His father asked.

"A little later tonight, after they open their presents and stuff."

"Do they know how to get here?"

"They should. I think Sirius might be the only one with issues though. He said his mum wouldn't be willing to bring him over."

"Why is that?" his mother asked.

"Cause she's a Black." He said simply. Apparently this was enough for them since all they did was nod.

It was a few hours later that Mr. Potter decided to go and pick up Sirius. Everyone wished him luck. Remus and Peter had already arrived and were exchanging gifts amongst each other.

"Thank you Remus!" he had gotten her an accelerated book on Transfiguration. Poor Peter didn't know what to get her, so he had given her a dancing card that sang carols. She exclaimed to him later that it was one of the most sincere gifts she had ever received (even if it did sing off key).

A few minutes later Mr. Potter was Apparating on their doorstep with Sirius at his side.

"How did it go?" Mrs. Potter asked worriedly.

"Not terrible," Mr. Potter winced, "It could have gone a lot worse. Thankfully her husband, Orion, was able to calm her down. Not before their house elf bit my leg at her discretion." he mumbled stiffly.

"Yeah, sorry about that Mr. Potter, Kreacher can be a pain in the arse." Sirius replied apologetically.

"Not a problem, lad. Glad I could come get you. Everyone else have a safe journey over?" he asked the other boys.

"Yes sir," Remus replied formally.

"Sure did!" was the not-so-formal reply from Peter.

Mrs. Potter brought out another tray of hot chocolate for the group and both adults left the room to allow the kids to catch up.

"Man, your parents are awesome. I wish mine weren't so crazy." Sirius whined as he sipped the hot chocolate.

"Meh, they do their job well." winked James nonchalantly.

"Have you a good holiday, Rina?" Asked Remus. He knew exactly how it had been going. Zarina had told James and his family that she was replying back to her parents, but she had actually told Remus all of what her own parents had said and asked his opinion of it. She knew he would be the only one not to overreact. Though he was only eleven, Remus was already more mature than most of the fifth year students she knew.

"Its been wonderful here. I'm glad you guys could join us for the last half of the vacation."

"Us too." he smiled back.

Since all of the kids couldn't fit in James's room, they decided to all sleep in the living room. Like always, Peter was the first one to fall asleep. Quietly the all continued to talk about more important topics.

"Have you thought about this summer and what's going to happen?" Remus asked Zarina. James and Sirius immediately perked up.

"I'm not sure who they are bringing over."

"Bringing over? For what?" James's voice was full of concern.

"My mom wrote it my letter that one of my peers would be coming over to give me special attention, or something to that extent." She sighed. "If they were having Bridgette over, they would have said so."

"So they're trying to make you into one of them?" Sirius growled. He knew the inner workings of a Pure Blood mind enough to know that this was a bad sign.

"You think so?" She asked worriedly.

"What else could it mean?" he asked.

"Well, what are we going to do?" James asked to the group. "She has to go home over the summer at some point. She just can't jump from house to house."

"I'm not sure. Did they say when they were bringing this person over?"

"No idea. They didn't say anything other than someone was going to be coming over this summer." This stumped the boys. They didn't know how they were going to perfect this plan before summer, but it was something that they were willing to try.

"Well, we have six months or so before summer, so we have plenty of time to weed out enough information from Bridgette and your parents to find out what is going on. Shouldn't be too hard, right?" James asked.

Zarina could only shrug.

"How can we get the information?" She wondered.

"Ask those in your house?" Sirius suggested.

Remus shook his head. "No, if they are as bad as they are supposed to be, this person will know not to say anything about it. However, they are still students and haven't perfected this yet. So my suggestion would be to see who taunts the most about your lack of pure blood ethics. If it's already a signed deal between them and your parents, they are going to feel superior against you in this situation. They will make themselves known, I can almost guarantee it."

Zarina nodded. "That's a good point. I agree. They all hate me, so anyone that is going to make my summer worse is definitely going to let me know." The boys nodded in agreement.

"We'll figure out someway for you to escape that prison." James promised.

"Yeah, since we know about it so early, we can totally kick some Death Eater ass if they try anything on you!" Sirius cheered, causing Peter to moan and roll over, pulling his pillow over his head.

Neither Remus nor Zarina felt like bursting his bubble. What could a few eleven and twelve year-olds could take on full grown dark arts masters? Even the idea brought her spirits down.

Instead of taking it to too much heart, Zarina allowed herself to play with the others, forgetting what the summer was going to bring.

_**A/N: So I totally had a wonderful idea where this going to lead! So excited, you all will just have to see. Oh, and by the way, if you've read all the way to this, congrats! This ended up being 16 pages typed out. Boy am I on a roll! Alrighty then, hope to see you all for Chapter 5! See you then and thank you very much! Please continue to let me know how I'm doing, whether through favorites, alerts, reviews or even P.M.s would be welcome! :D**_


	5. 5: Valentine's Day

**CHAPTER 5**

_**A/n: Thank you for all of the hits (close to 400!) and I'm glad that so many people are enjoying the new version. Without further delay, I bring you Chapter 5!**_

Together, James and Zarina left his home in Godric's Hollow and joined the others on the train back to Hogwarts. Christmas vacation was now over and it was time to get back to books, teachers, and drama.

Zarina was nervous about going back to class. It meant that she had to keep a lookout for whoever was supposed to be "tutoring" her this summer. Something she was completely scared about.

The boys tried continuously to calm her down and assure her that everything was going to be okay. Maybe it was just a threat, considering the "tutor" had yet to announce themselves in any way. It did very little to calm her, and week by week it was getting closer and closer to summer. Much too quickly for her liking.

She was distracted in class, and her nerves were soon on a constant edge of being shot. Soon, at least one person a class was yelling at her for missing her target. After class, and on more than one occasion, teachers would try and find out just what was going on.

And to make it all the more worse? The upcoming Friday was Valentine's Day. And she would, yet again, be dateless. Not that it meant much to the eleven year-old, (unlike Bridgette who enjoyed rubbing in the fact that she had always had a date since she was four years old), but with all of the older students and their constant cooing of each other, it was almost impossible to get away from it.

The week was passing slowly for her. There were couples attacking each others faces with their lips at every turn, despite Filch's constant bickering. She wanted Friday to come and go as quickly as it could.

"I _hate_ Valentine's Day." She mumbled darkly as she stabbed her potato. James raised an eyebrow at her gesture. Although, Remus gave her an understanding smile. His skin was slightly paler and she could tell her was rather clammy, but then again so was she. '_This whole Valentine's Day thing is evil_' she thought. She understood his pain.

"Why do you hate it?" Peter piped up. The poor kid's feet barely grazed the floor while sitting. Zarina wondered vaguely if he would ever get a growth spurt.

"Why not?" She asked. "It's just a holiday to make you realize that you are once again, alone." She pushed her now mashed potato away from her.

"You're just angry because you don't have a date to spend it with." Sirius said slyly.

"Do you have someone to spend it with, Black?" She inquired haughtily. This wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted to have him agree that this Friday-'_Tomorrow_'- she mentally corrected, was the worst thing on Earth.

"Sure, I do!" His grin only grew. "I'm going to spend it with Alice."

"Alice? Really?" She raised an eyebrow skeptically. Alice had never given him the time of day before.

"Yes, Alice. Dimitri Walburn said no way, so I had to figure something else out."

"The only reason why Alice said yes was because Frank Longbottom didn't ask her. He's got a crush on Lily Evans and asked her." Remus filled in.

"Evans already said yes to someone?" James crossed his arms. "Damn, this year does suck." Zarina could only glare.

"Really? You were going to ask _her_?"

"Who are you going with, Remus?" James avoided Rina's question as best as he could.

"Sallie Cartwright. She really didn't want to, but she agreed to a one date thing. That way we can hide from the rest of the snogging couples." He shrugged their looks off.

"So does that mean Wally is free if she ditched you, Black?"

"She ditched him because she's off with some Quidditch player," Remus informed. "So she's off limits too."

James sighed angrily. Remus caught Zarina's annoyed glance and cleared his throat.

"James... Why don't you and Zarina be dates? You're not official or anything, just, you know... so you both don't have to worry about it?" Zarina loved how he said it all. Although she wasn't sure if she liked the idea of tricking him into it. James was clearly thinking it over when she shrugged.

"If you want to. I guess we can help each other out this Valentine's Day. What do you say?"

"You're talking about still being friends though, right?"

"Yeah, of course. This way we can go to Hogsmeade and chill there while everyone is snogging faces."

"Hogsmeade? We're not allowed there. And besides, there is a trip this weekend so more couples with be there than normal." She didn't bother to mention the hurting feeling she felt that they were only friends on a 'date'.

"Fine. We don't have to go," he signed. "I guess we can hang out by the lake then."

"Sure." James didn't hear the halfhearted way she said it.

Both Sirus and Remus gave her an apologetic smile. All of them knew just how thick his head could be.

Zarina wasn't sure whether or not she should be happy about this seemingly pity date. But she would do what she could to, at least, to enjoy it.

Without another glance, she left the Gryffindor dinner table. On Friday's classes tended to be shorter; no double length classes were held. So, instead of class ending around five, where students immediately left for dinner, they would finish around three or so. This would be when all of the third years and up went to the local village to show off their love-lust.

Thinking about this love-lust, she headed to her own dorm room. She was surprised to find Bridgette throwing clothes out of her trunk.

Despite the face that she hadn't talked to Bridgette since returning from Godric's Hollow, she could help but ask:

"What in the world are you doing?"

Bridgette slammed her head into her open trunk lid. Groaning, she stood, rubbing the top of her head.

"What?"

"I asked what you were doing." She shrugged.

"Looking for a certain outfit. You haven't seen my green skirt, have you?" Zarina vaguely remembered the green skirt. She couldn't believe a mother would let her now twelve year old daughter wear something that short.

"It was on your bed the last time I saw it, B. Why are you outfit planning?" Zarina sat on her own bed, thinking she should probably figure out what she was going to wear tomorrow, herself.

"My bed?" Bridgette started searching in the folds of her comforter. "I'm looking because I haven't found a date yet for tomorrow night. I need to look my best! Make sure they know what they're missing." Disdain filled her voice. Zarina was astounded, however.

"No date? What about Avery? I thought he was into you?" Sure enough it had seemed that way. He tried talking to Bridgette every day in class and even after. Bridgette never seemed to give him any attention.

"Uh, yuck."

"Severus Snape?"

"Are you trying to pick out the ugliest nerds?" she rolled her eyes.

"My bad, my bad. So... say um... say _I_ had a friendly date tomorrow after classes were over... and uh..."

"Spit it out, Rina!" She yelled, frustrated.

"What should I wear!" She winced as she yelled back, somehow fearing retaliation.

"Oh, that all?" Bridgette moved from searching her bed to searching through Zarina's trunk.

"Here." She threw clothes at the girl.

Zarina held up a pair of pants and a thin dress as a top.

"Really?"

"Well, sure. You said it was a date, right?"

"A friendly date. We're going as friends since we couldn't find actual dates, I suppose."

"Pfft. What kind of nonesense is that? Of course it's a date, if the term was used. The term 'date' was said, right?"

Zarina took a second to think.

"Not really. Someone came up with the idea and we agreed to it. It was even specified that we were going as friends."

Bridgette frowned. She grabbed the dress top back and threw Zarina a long sleeved swearter that was black, to go with the jean pants. Zarina mirrored her expression.

"What's with the change?"

"He's obviously just doing it to make you feel alright on Single Awareness Day. He's not really interested. He doesn't want to date, it's just a pity date." So it _was_ a pity date. Still, she would try to make the best of it, she supposed.

"But there are things you _can_ do, Little Rina." Bridgette remarked knowingly. "You can show him just exactly what he's missing! This sympathy date can be your gateway to date him! Assuming he's worthy enough for you. He _is_ a pure blood, is he not?"

She bit her lip and nodded. Hopefully Bridgette wouldn't think of either of the Marauders.

"Oh then good! You should be able to get him to fall for you easily then!" Bridgette gave her her first friendly smile she had seen all year.

"You think he'll actually fall for me?"

"Unless I get to him first!" Bridgette laughed. Zarina weakly laughing also. She knew there was no such chance of that happening, but then Bridgette wasn't to know who her 'sympathy date' was with.

"Anyways, I'm going out!"

"But it's almost curfew, B." She pointed out.

"No worries, Lucius Malfoy is a prefect and he doesn't mind me roaming the halls." she winked.

"I thought he was with Narcissa Black?"

"Doesn't mean I still can't have fun trying!" Bridgette snorted. Zarina only nodded, pretending to have an idea of what she meant.

"Oh, one more question, B. My parents are having someone come over during the summer. Do you know who it is?"

"Oh yeah, it's Bella Black. Cissy's sister. She's already graduated though. She's pretty awesome, a lot cooler than her sisters."

"Alright then! I'm going to head to bed then..."

"Sure thing. Don't wait up!" and with that, she walked out of the dorm room door.

Zarina didn't know who Bella Black was, but she figured she could find out tomorrow from Sirius. She just silently hoped that she wouldn't find him and Alice snogging in some hidden classroom.

That night she went to sleep with dreams of curses and strange jets of light.

In the morning she put on her school uniform and tried hard to wake up properly.

Remus had to shake Zarina for her to realize that James had been asking her a question.

"I was thinking that you could meet me by the lake near the Forbidden Forest, right after our last class."

"Oh yeah, sure. That works." He returned her beaming smile.

"Great."

Sirius however, wasn't smiling. Instead, he huffed angrily.

"What's the problem, mate?" James asked.

"He's not going on a date with Alice." Peter giggled.

"Why not?" Zarina asked.

"Frank ended up asking her out. Apparently Evans turns him down, so now Frank and Alice are going out.

"So what's going on with Evans then, if she's not going out with Frank?" asked James. Zarina shot him a glance that he didn't see.

"Hanging out with Snivellus evidently." he pointed in their direction. They were near the entrance of the Great Hall, talking.

"Sucks for Frank. Well, I guess not. He got pretty lucky if their actually going out. Sucks for you though, mate, getting dumped like that." James snickered. Zarina sighed quietly. At least her date didn't seem affected.

Now that she knew who was coming to her house over the summer, she was less distracted. The rest of the classes were with her was silently thankful that whatever had been pestering her, was over.

Before she knew it, all of the classes for the day were over. Soon she was was heading back to her dorm room to change. Time was going by too quickly for her. It seemed only like last week that she was on the train, going to spend the next two weeks at the Potters. And now, roughly two months later, she was getting ready to go on the date she had only thought about since September.

She couldn't help herself; she threw on her dress that Bridgette had picked out the night before and threw on a pair of warm jeans. Sure she was trying to look cute, but it was February, and she was not crazy enough to wear anything revealing to the cold weather. It was supposed to snow tonight even. With a swish of her coat, she headed out to the grounds, butterflies in her stomach rampaging.

She found James standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, waiting for her patiently. The sky was over cast; it was going to snow sooner rather than later.

Smiling, he closed the distance between them, and like a gentleman, he held out his arm for her to take.

"So... this wasn't fully my idea, I have to admit. I talked to my cousin, Sallie Cartwright about my situation and she was kind enough to help."

"Sallie?"

"Yeah. We're related like most purebloods are. Granted we get along pretty well surprisingly."

"Oh..." Zarina wasn't sure what to say. They reached the edge of the forest and were slowly walking their way into it. Zarina's grip tightend on his arm.

"I thought we weren't supposed to go in here?"

"It's alright. We won't enter too deep. There won't be anything to bother us, which is why I chose this spot."

"You said you had a situation earlier, what's up?" Her grip relaxed a little when they began walking parallel to the edge.

"You don't miss much, do you?" he smirked.

"I try not to." She grinned back.

"Well, this was my situation." He gestured to a picnic that had been laid out on a blanket on the ground.

"I couldn't think of anything to do, since Remus told me it was your first Valentine's Day and all." He looked down at what he had made. Even at her young age, Zarina realized just how thoughtful it was.

"So... do you still just want to be friends?" he asked her quietly. His voice wavered slightly, as if he was nervous for the answer. Zarina could only look at him, bewildered. She figured the time to be shy was over. If she ever wanted to get _anywhere _with him, she was going to have to be blunt. No beating around the bush. Now, to actually untie her tongue so she could speak might be a bit more difficult.

"You really... you really want to be more than friends? This isn't just a Valentine's Day scheme?"

"What? No, it's not a plot or anything."

"And.. this isn't a sympathy date?"

James blinked, barely comprehending.

"Who told you that?"

"Bridgette told me..." she muttered, knowing how silly it sounded now.

He could only smile sympathetically at her.

"You can't trust what those Slytherins say, you know."

"I'm a Slytherin," She retorted.

"No, you're my girlfriend." and he kissed her on the cheek. She didn't care how completely corny it sounded, she was actually happy. He grinned from ear to ear.

"So you agree then?"

"Yeah, it sounds good." Her cheeks were still red from his quick kiss, and she hadn't even noticed that she answered his question.

"Great."

Together they enjoyed a delicious meal that she later found out, had been taken from the kitchens, at the preparations of thousands of little elves.

_**A/N: I know it's a little shorter than normal, but I do plan on making the next chapter a little longer. Thanks for the patience of waiting for this chapter; I'll try and be quicker next time. :D Also, I had to really stop myself from having Rina say "Really?" in answer to his question, considering that was my response when the boyfriend proposed to me in May. Yeah.. not "Of course!" but "Really?" :-P I'm weird, I know. Anyways, useless information is over and I'll see you all next chapter!**_


	6. 6: The Summer Dinner

**CHAPTER 6**

_**A/N: I want to thank everyone again who read and replied to my story, it always makes me feel awesome inside. :) On that note I want to thank CelticCrossings again for reviewing and making me feel special inside! Also, I want to thank Sarapha for the wonderful message she sent me and all the warm and fuzzy feelings inside. 3 I love you guys! XD Here is the next installment! It's a long one too, so just an FYI.**_

"Bella? Bellatrix Black is coming over to your house over the summer?" exclaimed Sirius. His fork had dropped loudly and messily on his plate.

"I guess so... Apparently this is something that's a big deal?"

"The girl is a complete nutcase! My mom dotes on her and Narcissa as if they were her own daughters. Andromeda is on the fence like I am though. Anyways, Bella has already talked about joining Voldemort with her fiance', Rodolphus Lestrange. He's just as weird as she is." he went back to stabbing his food angrily.

Ever since the news spread about James and Zarina being an item, Sirius had seemed more or less aggravated. But she wasn't ready to start thinking about that just yet. Summer wasn't slowing down on getting closer, therefore they had to figure out a way to get around it.

"I have an idea." Remus said quietly. He had been quiet all throughout lunch, to the point that Zarina had forgotten he was there.

"What's up?" James asked. He squeezed Zarina's hand underneath the table. It had been close to a month since Valentine's Day, and Zarina had only remembered now what was supposed to happen over this summer. She squeezed back, anxious for his answer.

"Well, this whole thing started because you were hanging out with Gryffindors right?"

"Yeah?" She still wasn't comprehending what he meant.

"You never told them our names, did you?"

"No, and I'm pretty sure Bridgette never said names either. She usually forgets details like that."

"Well, good. So all you have to do is make sure you've changed for them. You can have Sirius come over for dinner since he's a Black, it shouldn't be weird to them."

"But I'm not like my family." Sirius couldn't help but point out.

"Me neither," She agreed. Remus gave them both an exasperated look.

"That's why you _pretend_. Its either that or have a crazy woman teaching you Unforgivable Curses." he shrugged.

"True."

"Wait, why can't I do it? I mean I _am_ her boyfriend now, after all. Shouldn't I be the one to go over to her house during the summer?" He was indignant. He didn't like the idea of this. He didn't want Zarina to have to pretend to be evil, or even pretend that _Sirius_ was her boyfriend.

"Of course no!" It was Zarina who spoke out. James could only stare at her.

"No?"

"My parents know who you are, and your family, remember? If you came over they would order Bellatrix to come over, quicker than ever!" Peter, Remus and Sirius could only nod in agreement.

"It has to be Sirius,"

"But what if Bellatrix recognizes him?" James protested.

"She shouldn't. I'm never home if she ever comes over, and my mum never talks about me too much, other than normal kid stuff. It really shouldn't be a problem. I doubt that she even knows what house I'm in, so it shouldn't be a problem. I've been around plenty of purebloods in my life, I know how to act." he was reassuring and James still didn't like it.

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

"Don't worry about it!" Sirius laughed. "It'll be alright. More than likely, if we can pull this off right, you won't be bothered again! At least until you can tell them off yourself." he winked at her. She grinned happily back, so thankful to have the friends that she did.

"But you said you were on the fence like Andromeda, what's that about?" James couldn't help but ask. He knew there wasn't going to be able to be much he could do to stop this plan, but he could at least make sure it was full-proof.

"Andromeda has been steadily seeing Ted Tonks, and he's a Muggle born. To the likes of my family, he may as well be a straight Muggle. Now, I'm not quite that bad, but I've spoken out against my family before and thats what makes my mom accuse me of slowly becoming a blood traitor. All I have to pretend is that I've learned the errors of my ways. Same as you, you know." the group nodded. It could work. It actually could work out.

"Rina, you should write a letter to your parents requesting a dinner date, and you could let them know its Sirius. That way they can set it up however they want. I would suggest you two getting to know each other more though." She and Sirius nodded. James could only sigh. It was a great plan, one that could easily work too. But the jealous side in him was raging against being put away, ignored. Talk of the plan was ceased as the lunch bell rang, meaning it was time for classes to start.

"Did you want to go to the kitchens and grab some dessert, Rina?" James asked her. All of the Marauders and their adopted Slytherin were lounging in the Common Room. Remus was reading a very detailed book on Grindelows (why, Zarina had no idea), Peter was on the ground playing with chocolate frog cards, trying to see if he could figure out just which ones he was missing. Sirius and Zarina were going back and forth, quizzing each other on their lives and recreating stories of their past for the other. James, however, felt left out and alone.

Zarina looked up with a saddened smile. "I'm sorry, James. I can't tonight. We only got a week or so left until the dinner and we have to make sure we don't mess up." James sighed, knowingly she was right. The raging jealous monster kept throwing first and insults but he locked it up tighter. Zarina felt terrible. She knew that for the last couple of months she hadn't been the good girlfriend to her boyfriend. Indeed, rumors were even going around that Zarina was now an item with Sirius. Everyone denied it, and she tried to give James time and love when they were together, but she knew that it wasn't enough for him. She silently feard that he would think something was really going on, and she couldn't bare that. However, the fear of Bellatrix (Sirius had gone into more dept about her and the Death Eaters) and her soon-to-be husband, actually scared her more than her parents. It was the only reason why she hadn't settled on, 'good enough knowledge' of Sirius' life, but had decided to get to know him completely. Unfortunately for James this meant that a lot of time outside of the classroom and even out on the grounds, Zarina and Sirius could be seen walking together, laughing, and carrying on such detailed conversations.

In two days, their first year of Hogwarts would be over, and in four days from that was the dinner. Nicollette Zilini was the one to write back, quicker than even Zarina could have imagined:

_Zarina!_

_I'm so excited for you and your new love interest, Sirius. I know his family fairly well and I've invited Walburga, Orion, and Regulus over for dinner as well. Walburga has replied with enthusiasm since she too was worried that Sirius wouldn't find a suitable pure-blood girl, also. Rina, I'm so very proud of you for finally finding your way. We shall celebrate!_

_Love you!_

_Mommy_

The fact that Sirius' parents were going to be there and even his younger brother brought in a whole new playing field. It sealed the fact that they were going to have to learn everything about each other, in case weird questions were asked.

"Yeah, I just thought I would ask..." James answered somber. James Potter depressed was a scary sight and no one liked a mopey Potter.

"Its only until next week, James. We still plan on coming over like normal."

"Won't your parents say anything about my father coming over to pick you up this last Christmas?" James asked. Somehow, Zarina forgot all about their Christmas vacation.

Sirius thought about it before he answered.

"They might." he began, "But it could be when we learned the 'error' of our ways."

"What, so you guys coming over for two weeks was when you learned just how much you hate 'blood traitors'?" James was on his feet and angry. The monster of Jealousy that he had tried to tame, refused to be restrained any longer. He was mad, and he knew that it was because Sirius was trying to steal Zarina away, and she was letting it happen.

He couldn't see their surprised looked through the red glare around his vision.

Remus got up slowly and Peter seemed to hide in himself. Sirius helped Zarian stand up and they all didn't know what exactly to say.

"You know that we loved coming over, James." she said slowly. She didn't know what was going on.

"Yeah mate, I'd rather come over to your house and chill there than have dinner with my parents and brother." Disgust was in Sirius' voice at the thought of the dinner. But James was still fuming.

Zarina bit her lip and stepped forward. She grabbed his hands in hers. He didn't stop her, but looked at her coldly.

"James, you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I just couldn't. Sirius and I are trying to make it where I can come over and see you all of the time without having to worry about my family going nuts. I want to be able to see you all of the time and this is the best way to do it, and you know it. That's why you agreed, remembered?"

"Yeah, I remember, but you won't do anything with me anymore." His voice wasn't raised anymore, but it was noticeable angry still.

"I'm sorry James. I've should have been more aware of how you felt... I'm sorry." That seemed to diffuse his temper. His shoulders slumped and he sighed.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to blow up like that."

"It's understandable mate. It really is, I would've been angry too if it was me." The boys smiled at each other, glad to have this obstacle over.

"C'mon, James, you can show me into the kitchen." She pulled on his arm and dragged him out of the Common Room.

"Are you ready for this?" Sirius asked Zarina through her bedroom door. He had been over most of the day, and she was changing her clothes at her mother's discretion. His parents and younger brother would be coming over at any minute. Dinner was almost ready. Their newly acquired house elf, Tass, was going crazy in the kitchen, making sure everything was perfect.

"I guess." She called through the door. "As much as I can be at least." She mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

"Are you okay in there?" he asked, trying to figure out what exactly was taking so long. They both could hear her mother welcoming his family. Sirius groaned.

"Just great. They're here Rina! Hurry up!"

"Ugh! Come in here!" Surprised, he did as he was told.

"Whats up?" he had never been in her room before. It had a four-poster bed in the corner, adorned in pink and black comforter and pink lace curtains. The walls were covered in Muggle posters of bands- The Beatles, Black Sabbath, and Aerosmith. Sirius raised a skeptical eyebrow- he had never heard of any of these bands.

"I need your help, Sirius." her voice called from behind. She was in her bathroom, trying to zip up the back of her dress. It too was black, and relatively form fitting. At the bottom was ivy that ran up her side in pink stitching. Her now shoulder-length black hair had been put up into a loose bun with a small dragonfly clip in her bangs. For a moment he couldn't speak.

"You know, it's not like we're announcing our engagement." He smiled at her though, taking in her features through the mirror she was looking into. Her deep bright blue eyes were laughing at his comment.

"I know, but my parents seem to find this a dress-up occasion, and they take it very seriously around here. Now, I need you to zip me up in the back."

Sirius nodded and came closer. He put his hand on the small of her back to hold the fabric. Using his relatively shaking hand, he zipped the back of her dress up to her neck.

"Thank you." She smiled at him in the mirror and turned around to face him. For what seemed to be a few minutes they could only stare at each other. Zarina in her black and pink dress, Sirius in his black dress shirt that was untucked and black slacks. His ear length shaggy hair somehow messy and groomed well at the same time.

Sirius coughed, breaking eye contact with her blue eyes. "Ready?" he asked her. At the same time they could hear Nicollette's voice calling for them.

"Y-yeah. Let's go." Together they walked downstairs. Her parents had enchanted the candles on the dinner table to never melt. The chairs were all evenly spaced apart. Three on one side, three on the other, and one at the head of the table.

Ziren Zilini was already sitting down at the head of the table. He gave an approving nod at his daughter for her dress. Nicollette sat down to his right and motioned for the kids to sit down next to her. Zarina sat next to her just as well dressed mother, and Sirius sat on Zarina's other side. Across from him was his brother, Regulus, who was to start his first year at Hogwarts in Septemer. Walburga Black sat next to her son and across from Zarina. Orion Black was on Ziren's left side next to his own wife. Tass could be seen bobbing in between the guests, her head not visible as she set the food down in front of them. Silently everyone began to eat. With the food now served, the tension eased and table chatter began.

"My, my, Nicollette, this is just an amazing dinner."

"Thank you, Walburga. We recently bought our new house elf, Tass, and I like to think that she's doing a decent job."

"I agree, every once in a while they seem to get things right. Our Kreacher makes some of the best French Onion Soup. You must come over and try it."

"So how have you been doing, Ziren? I haven't seen you since I graduated."

"Oh you know, trying to stay busy." Ziren's deep voice answered.

"You know it's just wonderful that our children seem to be so fond of each other." Orion Black mused. "Look at the look they are giving each other. We'll be in-laws soon enough!" The good-humored Orion laughed. Ziren could only smile at the thought. The two wives quickly joined into the men's conversation. Both sets of parents turned to their children.

Zarina and Sirius had been in their own conversation, completely unaware that they were being watched.

"So I'm trying to tell Reggie that unless he could beat me in Quidditch, there wasn't going to be any way that he would get to play at school." Regulus glared at his brother.

"And I did beat you, Sirius. Remember?"

"Barely. I still don't think you'll be good enough to play."

"You don't plan on trying out, do you?" Zarina asked.

"Nah, probably not." he winked at her, "I've always enjoyed giving him a hard time," Regulus could only roll his eyes and continue eating. Zarina and Sirius resumed their own Quidditch talk, still unaware that their parents were watching them with bemused interest.

"Did you plan on trying out for the Quidditch team this year, Rina?" he asked her, knowing how much she enjoyed playing at James' house. He had already finished his plate and was watching her with polite interest as she thought about his question. Without really thinking about it, he had laid his hand on her knee.

Zarina's train of thought was ruined when she felt his warm hand on her leg. She thought it may be just for show for the families but she so wasn't so sure. She wasn't too sure whether or not she really minded it being there. She mentally shook herself and answered his question.

"I don't know. I like playing, but I'm not sure which position I would be good at." She blushed slightly. "I tend to make more mistakes under pressure." Sirius could only grin at her.

"Regulus, if you're done eating. You should see if Zarina's little firend, Bridgette wants to play. She lives next door." Nicollette winked at the young boy. He recognized the sign to leave and he did so without saying another word.

"Bridgette is a good girl from the Scotts. She's the youngest girl and absolutely perfect for him." Nicollette informed his mother.

"Mom, is it okay that we go up into my room?"

"Go ahead, dear." Quickly she grabbed Sirius' hand and headed back up to her room, leaving the adults to catch up.

Zarina quickly closed the door behind them and exhaled.

"That was intense." She mumbled.

"Well, I guess we really didn't need to know all of that information about each other." He sprawled out on her bed, enjoying the fluffy blanket. Zarina sat at the edge of the bed, next to him.

"Yeah I guess. Snuffles the cat wasn't something I needed to know about." she grinned at him.

"Hey! I miss Snuffles!"

"Before or after Regulus accidentally set him on fire?"

"Both times still." He stuck his tongue out at her. "Reggie was just jealous because Snuffle's liked me better."

"Right, I'm positive that was it." She winked at him.

"Ha, ha." He grabbed her arms, pulling her close to him.

"Oomph!" she groaned as she landed hard on top of him. Sirius could only laugh at her.

"What's so funny?" She asked indignantly.

"You." he sighed.

"What's wrong?" she tilted her head better to see him.

"There is something I really want to do, but I know I shouldn't." he put his arms behind his head, staring up at her canopy.

"What's up?"

"I dunno..." he sighed again.

"C'mon now, when has Sirius Black ever been afraid to break the rules?" She teased him.

"You really want to know what I'm talking about?" he asked in all seriousness.

"Yes." She was surprised at his tone and the penetrating look he was giving her. She scanned his face, his gray eyes, trying to figure out what exactly he was talking about. He wasn't giving away any hints.

"What are you making a big dea-" she was stopped in midsentence by him. He had sat up, holding onto her closely, bringing her close to him as possible. Zarina could feel his heartbeat, beating as fast as hers. He held her in a tight embrace with such force that she was paralyzed, unsure of what to do.

"Sirius?" she was finally able to say. He let her go and wasn't looking at her, but at the ground.

"Sirius?" she asked again.

"That wasn't my only intention." he still wasn't looking at her.

"W-what was your intention then?" She was afraid to ask, but something told her that she needed to know.

"Look, we're friends, great friends even. But I don't want to do anything that could hurt yours and James' relationship. There is a difference between pretending for our families and how I actually feel. And what I feel doesn't matter right now." He stood up, still not looking at her. She wasn't sure what to say or how to feel. She just knew that most kids her age didn't normally feel this way. Still, she almost wanted him to say the words she knew he was feeling, hear him say the words she knew she was silently feeling in her own heart. Sure she had these same feelings for James, but these seemed new somehow, vibrant and wild. Untamed almost. She still didn't know what to say and she searched for the answers in his eyes, but he refused to make eye contact with her. She could almost see pain in them.

"Sirius! Rina!" She could hear her mother calling them from downstairs. Quickly his mask appeared and he grinned, holding out his hand.

"C'mon, let's put on a show they'll never want to forget!" Grinning back, Zarina took his hand.

Together they walked downstairs. Walburga and Orion were buttoning up their traveling cloaks and Regulus was complaining about being stuck with Bridgette.

"Well, say good-bye Rina." Nicollette put a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Actually, Mom, I wanted to ask a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Would it be okay if I go home with Sirius and his family? I'd like to learn more from them." they had agreed at school that this would be their easiest way to make sure her parents believe their scheme.

"Oh." Her mother was taken aback for a second. "Well, what do you say Walburga? May Zarina spend the night tonight?"

Orion looked at his wife. "Don't turn the cute girl down, love. They're still young enough that they can sleep in the same room, so boarding isn't a problem. We have our nieces over this week for a visit, and they each take a room." He explained. Sirius inwardly groaned. Just what they needed. Bella and Cissy were over. At least Andromeda wouldn't be a bore to talk to.

"Fine." was all the mother said. Zarina ran back upstairs, quickly picked clothes and ran back down the stairs, careful not to trip down them as she normally did. Sirius gave her a grin and grabbed her hand in his. They all waved bye and left.

Walburga and Orion took the three kids to their house on Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Zarina was rather dizzy when they appeared at the house.

"Wow." Was all she managed to say.

"Welcome home." Sirius was somehow able to keep the contempt out of his voice.

"So my grandfather was a Squib? And he married another girl and happened to be Bella's, Cissy's and Andromeda's grandfather too? That's nutty. I can't believe we're all actually related. That seems gross."

Sirius laughed at her. "We're all spaced far enough apart that we could still have kids and stuff and nothing would happen. We still could have defects though, like Squibs. But that's normal in pure blood families."

Zarina shrugged. "It shouldn't be something you get punished for." She remembered the blasted part of the tapestry where her grandfather's name had been. She was told that Zilini had come from her father changing his last name while he was at school. Nicollette and her own name hadn't been placed on the tapestry since Marius Black's name had been blasted off.

"Yeah, well, not all pure bloods are as kind hearted as you." He smiled kindly at her. His walls were mostly bare, but he had a few pinup girls and motorcycles stuck on the wall. He noticed her looking around and added:

"As soon as I can, I'm adding as much red and gold as I can fit." he winked at her. The butterflies in her stomach came back, stronger than ever.

"Tomorrow we're going over to James' right?" she asked, yawning.

"Yup, we're going to walk to a nearby park and he's going to meet us there."

"Okay." She laid down against the wall. Sirius had laid down also, his king-sized bed more than big enough for the two of them.

"Tired already?" he couldn't help but yawn also. "Damn those things are contagious."

"Hmmhmm..." Already she was half asleep. Sirius could only chuckle at her. Soon she was lightly snoring, her breathing even and steady. He stared at her and brushed her hair out of her face. Without warning she scooted herself over to him and laid her head down on his chest. Startled at this affection, he did the only natural thing. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. With his other hand he pulled up the blankets and closed his eyes, knowing that this was going to be the last time he could ever experience this feeling with her again.

_**A/N: All I can say is: ! And I know it's not even a word. I LOVE this chapter. I wanted to keep going, but I knew it was only going to get longer and longer, and this is already thirteen pages typed, hahaha. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Chapter 7 hopefully coming to you by Tuesday!**_


	7. 7: The Damned Forest

**CHAPTER 7**

_**A/N: I want to thank everyone that has been waiting patiently for this. A lot of things have gone down in the last month or so and it's been pretty hectic. I'm hoping with some of these changes that I'll be able to update more regularly. This chapter has been hard too since it hits close to home and hopefully it seems more realistic then. Also, I had a really bad case of writers block I'm hoping I've overcome. : D**_

_**Also, I would like to personally give love out to mah bestie on here, MyLittleDecoy13 Who, by the way has an amazing story that everyone needs to read. NOW. 3**_

_**Anyways! Here we are!**_

If asked to recall anything about that summer or even that summer dinner especially, Zarina couldn't answer. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Unfortunately this wasn't what her boyfriend had wanted to hear. Up until his marriage he would always be skeptical of what really happened that night. Although, as he got older, it seemed less and less significant.

It was now their second year of school. The age where appearances were becoming everything. Cliques were how any girl survived and more and more guys were beginning what was called a strut.

It was no different for the odd girl, Zarina Zilini. Although, she wasn't exactly the prettiest girl (she would argue anything near that), but she had cute features she supposed. But she didn't belong to a clique. She didn't belong with the Slytherin's because she was trying to be everything they weren't. However, she wasn't a Gryffindor either. As much as she wanted to be a part of that group, something would always condemn her. She just didn't belong there. As for the boys strutting, well that was simple. She wasn't a boy.

When they returned to school, James was oddly distant. He would claim nothing was wrong, but she felt further and further down the rabbit hole. Sirius wasn't much help either. He had told Zarina in private what did happen that night. She immediately told him to forget anything that had happened. She also told him to swear to her to not say anything to James. He wasn't up for it at first, but after a convincing statement (or threat depending on who was asked), he agreed.

But it wasn't only James acting weird.

Remus was continually getting sick at the oddest of times. It didn't matter if the flu had been going around; whatever it was, he would catch it. It was almost once a month that he seemed to be leaving the campus. It was a fact that did not go unnoticed by his friends. Whenever he would return the rest of the Marauders would be waiting for him in the Common Room, asking all sorts of questions. Try as he might, the boys never fell for his excuses. They knew something was up.

By Christmas they all had a vague idea. It was James who noticed the pattern and it was Sirius' idea on how to solve it.

While the Marauders began their journey into a world of complex spells and deceiving the Ministry, Zarina was more and more isolated than ever.

Bridgette was falling into step with her older sisters. She had a boyfriend every other week it seemed. It was almost as if she recycled them. The longest relationship she had so far, that actually seemed to be going well, was the only one boy who seemed to find her the most annoying: Regulus Black. How she managed to wrangle him into a relationship was beyond Zarina's thinking process.

Without Bridgette constantly giving her hell about one thing or another, Zarina didn't have many people to turn to. In fact, the one person she did end up turning to was her Charms partner, Severus Snape. They shared many conversations together, pouring over their books, trying to understand it. It was in the library that the two Slytherins noticed a group of girls enter the library. Zarina quickly sorted them in her head:

First that entered was a second year Hufflepuff, Dimitri Walburn. She had a characteristically bright yellow bow in her hair that was helped accented by random yellow throughout her attire. She was the girl that had kindly helped Zarina with her Charms homework before. Zarina hated to continuously ask for help in a class, so she had left Dimitri alone for the most part.

Next that came in was Lily Evans. Zarina could feel Severus tighten up when he saw her come in. Lily had turned their way and smiled weakly at Snape before returning to her current conversation. Zarina couldn't help but glare at Lily. Ever since the first day, she couldn't help but distrust the girl. James had an attraction to the girl, and while Evans seemed to have no interest, it didn't go unnoticed by his girlfriend. While Lily was fair skinned with gorgeous red hair and freckles, Zarina had short length black hair, pale skin and no interesting distinctive features that she could think of (other than her blue eyes that she loved the crispness of. Although she supposed that Lily had pretty eyes too). Lily was just a girl she did not like (mainly the James thing helped the fire).

After Evans was Sallie Cartwright. Zarina saw her often in the Common Room either pouring over old notes or talking with Lily. Every now and again Sallie and James would talk, usually ending in him picking on her for whatever reason. But they were cousins and Zarina was not the one to get in the way with family. Sallie, too, was a pretty girl with a rather know-it-all attitude, but only on subjects she was actually good at. Slughorn had added Sallie into his Slug Club soon after finding her natural ability and talent with a cauldron (her know-it-all attitude showed mostly here. Zarina figured she probably wasn't that way outside class, but she was a pretty close stickler to the rules).

Zarina was a little jealous of Sallie's ease at cauldron work, definitely jealous of Dimitri's Charms skill, and Zarina frankly tended to ignore Lily whenever possible.

Zarina knew that she was good in school, but like them, only in selected classes. Sure, she may not have people jealous over _her _skill in Transfiguration, but Zarina was humble about it. Throughout her two years (and on), she was trying to over her mental block in Potions. She was good, but Sallie surpassed her with the very key aspect of potion making. Zarina could not recall potions from memory. Unfortunately that meant that any exams came around, Zarina would have a heart attack.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Severus had gotten up and walked over to the girls. This confused her to no end. While most guys were afraid to talk to one girl, let alone go to a group of them, Zarina was impressed. However, he only seemed interested in talking to Evans. Zarina couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. She turned back to her Charms homework until she heard yet another group walk in rather loudly.

It was almost all of the Marauders. James, Sirius, and Peter. The three of the them were laughing at joking.

James had done a quick scan and noticed Zarina. He however, let his his eyes to continually scan the place and headed to the back of the library like he normally did. She bit her lip, trying to keep the overwhelming rush of emotions that she had been bottling up recently. She didn't think that he was at her for any reason, but she couldn't think of why he was acting funny.

Sirius wasn't much better. He spared her a glance and a brokenhearted smile and continued walking on. It hurt her immensely just as much as James' pretended ignorance that she was there.

Peter, however, waved at her like nothing had changed. Smiling, he followed his friends.

At this time Severus had come back and glanced at the boys as they started pulling books from the shelves.

It only annoyed her even more when he sat down next to her. This wasn't supposed to be her partner in studying. It was supposed to be James. They were boyfriend and girlfriend and it was things like this that they were supposed to do together. Zarina didn't mind them doing things on their own, she understood and accepted that. But he blatantly ignored her. Had Sirius told James about what had happened? She doubted it or else Sirius would be back to normal and he even was bothered by her appearance.

"Zarina, did you find the answer?" it could have been the his first time asking, but the annoyance in his voice suggested otherwise.

"What? No." Her tone was just as annoyed.

Before she could hear him tell her off for not doing work, she packed her bag and left the library.

She headed outside to the cold wet air. Christmas was only a few days away and everyone she knew would be going home for the holidays. She figured she could too, but she didn't want to deal with her parents. And what would she do, anyways? Lock herself in her room? It wouldn't be any different than what she could do here.

It was too warm for it to snow (although it was very close), and it wasn't fully raining earlier. More of a slush and mist that clung her hair and her face.

She took a deep, steadying breath. A few tear drops rolled from her troubled blue eyes. She heard footsteps just a few feet behind her. She wasn't sure who she wanted it to be.

If it was James what would she say? "Why are you ignoring me?" that wasn't pleasant. He might just turn around and leave.

What if it was Sirius? He was the one that had somehow always understood her. But wasn't that what best friends were for? If it was him, she knew better than to show her tears to him.

She wiped her eyes and took another breath. The footsteps came closer to her. Inhaling she turned around.

"Rina?" he stood there, his eyes full of concern. So he had followed her out here. He would be the one to. James had much more work to be done, obviously.

"Sirius?" she wiped her eyes again.

"Rina, why are you crying?"

"Um... I'm just stressed out. You know normal stuff. Midterms are after Christmas break, and.. and..." she sighed. It was nothing but excuses. She knew what was wrong but she didn't want to admit it. Not to one of her best friends. Her best friend that caused her heart to race and skip beats. Her _boyfriend's_ best friend.

He gave her a weak smile. He knew how she was feeling whether she knew it, but he felt the same way. She could never fully realize how he felt when she was around him.

Both of them were denying how they felt about each other for fear of causing any issues. Both did not know just how close they related to each other. But both did realize how this would affect their common life support. James Potter.

"Yeah... I understand. But you're awesome at school work so why are you worrying?"

She shuffled her feet on the ground. The weather had gotten colder and the slush was becoming cold sticky snow.

"Right..."

"Sirius... I don't know what to do."

"I can't help you." He wanted tothough. He wanted to grab her and hold her close. As close as he did when they shared the same bed over the summer. He could feel his heart fall into the pit of his stomach, a hole emerging where his heart once was.

"Why?" She yelled frustratingly. "I need help!" she cried out desperately. "I don't know what to do!"

His gray eyes were sad and his voice was dull with no commitment behind them.

"If anything is supposed to be how I would like them to be... and if you want it too... it'll eventually happen. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, Rina."

With that he headed past her, into the the forest behind her. It was late now and a long howl could be heard somewhere deep within the rustling trees.

She bit her lip and wondered vaguely what it could be. Sirius had ran in there. Could it be after him? Does he know what that howl had come from?

The snow had started to build up and his foot prints were still imprinted. She weighed the pros and cons about running into the woods after him. A scary, dark forest that was supposed to be filled with horrible creatures. The howl ripped through the air again and sent chills up her arms that made her skin crawl; something that had nothing to do with the falling temperatures.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Taking a deep breath she followed the footsteps.

Entering the forest, all of the noise became dead. Silence filled the air around her as she continued to follow. Every now and again they would twist and turn, but they never seemed to falter.

The foot steps were becoming fainter as it continued to snow harder.

Quickly she turned around, hoping to see the trail that she had made. Obviously Sirius wasn't here. Perhaps he had already gone back to the castle. Who knew how long she had been out here.

The silence was still surrounding her. She couldn't see anyone or anything. She thought she could hear a voice in the distance but she didn't trust her senses.

"Sirius!" She called out. No one answered.

"Sirius!" Her voice was edging closer to a panic. She wasn't sure what she was going to do now. Night had settled and she only had her wand-tip to light her way.

"Oh, what did I get myself into?" She groaned.

"They say talking to yourself is a sign of madness, you know." A voice said quietly behind her.

Jumping out of her skin, she turned to find James standing behind her. Another howl could be heard piercing through the night. The moon was full and bright, but the light was unable to pierce through the canopy.

"James!" She wrapped around his neck, happy she had been found at last.

"How'd you get here?" She asked him.

"I can ask you the same thing, Rina. Why are you in here, and why are you calling out for Sirius?"

"He... He went up here and I heard a howl, so I came in after trying to find him..."

James raised an eyebrow. "He's fine. C'mon, lets get out of here."

"Where is he? Do you know?" She asked worriedly. Something strange was going on. Sirius was still missing and yet James was here instead, acting nonchalantly and unconcerned for his friend's life. Who knew what could be in this damned forest?

"Yeah, and he's okay, Zarina. Don't worry. Peter and Remus are with him." Together they headed towards what Rina hoped to be the exit.

"Remus and Peter are here? Why in Merlin's great white beard did you four come in here?"

James shrugged, not looking at her.

"We're trying to figure out a furry problem that Remus is having."

She couldn't be more confused by his statement.

"So everyone is okay?"

"Yep. We'll all be going home like normal on Friday."

They finally made their way out of the forest. The moon showed brightly against the storm clouds that were receding. The light bounced off the lake and the snow covered ground around it.

"Right... Christmas vacation."

"Yep. Well... go back to your dorm, Rina. We'll talk more in the morning. It's late." Zarina nodded numbly and did what he suggested. As she reached the steps of the castle, she turned. James was in the same spot that she had left him. She waved at him and left to go inside the castle.

By the time she made it back to bed, she couldn't sleep. There wasn't anything about what he said or did that made any sense.

Sunlight had started to filter through her curtains by the time she was finally able to sleep.

_**A/N: This chapter is kind of rough, I know. I was trying to work through my writer's block and this is the end result, lol. But please, let me know what you think! Do you like where it's heading so far?**_


	8. 8: The Nice Talk

**CHAPTER 8**

_**A/N: Thanks for everyone keeping track on this! And for my new favorite! It's very much appreciated! These last couple of chapters have been really hard for me to write for some reason. I know where I want to end up, I'm just not sure how to get there at the moment. That and you know, real life gets in the way a lot.**_

Every now and again the boys would disappear and Remus would always end up in the Hospital Wing. However, every time when asked, the boys would shrug.

"Nothing is wrong, Zarina. We are just trying to help him with-"

"Yes, I know, his "furry problem" again." she sighed. She had an inkling of this issue, but she wouldn't sure who to ask to verify.

"Look, don't worry about it. Sirius, Peter, and I have found all of the information that we need. We're going to fix this issue the best we can and that'll be that; no more worries." James ruffled up her hair like he would his.

Summer was fast approaching. The end of their second year was coming to a close. There still seemed to be something fishy, but Rina for the most part ignored it. She also ignored the constricting feeling she got every time Sirius flirted with another girl, or anytime that James eyed Lily across the room.

But that didn't matter to her too much. They lasted an amazing year together. This was shocking to most twelve year olds but it was still nice. Until:

"My parents want a fancy dinner again." She told James on one of the last days before summer vacation.

"Okay, when?"

"Next week... but... you still can't come."

"What? Why not?" he asked indignantly. "You still haven't told them? Even after a year? Rina, when are you going to stand up to them?"

Zarina winced as he yelled at her. This was their only argument. They were coming back from Quidditch practice. Zarian had been practicing for her role as Keeper as James did his best to get passed her. She rearranged her broom and robes in one had as she held the Quaffle under the other, trying not to look at him.

"I will, I will... just.. not right now. I think there is something going on right now and I really don't want them yelling at me over something so silly." It wasn't a lie. She could tell something was going to happen. Bridgette and Regulus were both uneasy around her lately. They would cast shifting glances between the two of them whenever she was around.

"If something was going on, then I _should_ be there." He turned to her. His hazel eyes searched her always-worrisome blue ones for an answer. The words echoed in her mind, '_If something is going on...__'_ but what _was_ going on? There were many questions that she had that she didn't have any answers to. Too many for a twelve year old.

What were her parents up to this summer? Did they know Sirius was just as much of a blood traitor already as James was?

What did Bridgette and Regulus know?

Did James suspect anything between her and Sirius?

_Was_ there anything between her and Sirius? She certainly felt guilty enough for it to feel like there was.

Worst off, did she want something to happen between the two of them?

It was just too many questions for her to handle unfortunately. She didn't have anyone to turn to to ease her mind either.

Zarina caught a group of girls walking along the lake. She noticed it was the same trio that had entered the library when she had been studying with Severus near Christmas break. Zarina made a mental note in her head. Perhaps there could be some answers.

"I know, James." She turned her attention back to her boyfriend. He seemed to be getting rather annoyed over her long pauses. Zarina couldn't blame him. She knew it made her seem calculating, almost manipulative. "I would _love_ for you to come over and hang out at my house for once, but you have seen how my parents are when we were at Diagon Alley. And now it's even worse than before. They don't trust anyone. You guys were the ones that told me about them. They are convicted killers on the loose; you think that they would trust just anyone to come over to the house?"

James didn't speak for a moment; he knew she was right.

"What about Sirius? Are you going to ask him to come over again?"

She was going to. Or at least until this point she had planned on it. She shook her head.

"No. Sirius, I think, is just as dangerous. His parents won't be so forgiving of his antics over the summer. You know that he plans on bringing in Gryffindor colors to 'liven' the place up!"

James nodded.

"Who then?" he asked.

For this Zarina had no answer.

"I'm not sure who..."

That night Zarina remained in the Gryffindor Common Room late. It was the last week of school and she doubted that the teachers would mind too much.

The boys were all still awake and talking over their normal stuff. Ideas on how to torture Filch's cat, what they saw in the forest before Hagrid caught them, and how they should come up with a map of some sort for the castle. This last one they were discussing in detail when Zarina turned her attention away from them and walked over to Sallie Cartwright and Lily Evans, both pouring over random text books.

'_Sallie might have some answers for me._' Zarina thought to herself. Zarina took it as a sign of fate that Lily excused herself from her study partner and went up to girl's dorm for the night.

Startled to see the little Slytherin girl standing in front of her, nervously biting her lip, Sallie asked: "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you might have some answers for me?" This didn't change Sallie's confused look.

"Sure? I guess I can try and help." Zarina started fidgeting a bit. She really didn't know how to begin.

"I don't know what to tell James."

"Oh... relationship advice." Sallie seemed rather unsure. "What do you need to know?"

"I don't know what I should tell him. He doesn't understand why he can't come over, over the summer." Zarina's foot started tapping. She could feel the anxiety in her stomach, hurting, and causing a queasy feeling, wanting to make her throw up.

Sallie analyzed Zarina's nervous face. She could tell that this was only the tip of the iceberg. Sallie vaguely wondered if she should even bother asking what was truly bothering her.

"It's because of your parents though, isn't it? They're Death Eaters. Why _would _he want to come over?" She asked simply.

"I don't know!" Zarina nervously wrung her hands together. She thought that was a simple concept to understand. Her parents were supposedly evil. Why would anyone want to come over?

"I think he feels that he has to compete with Sirius or something. Sirius came over last summer, but it was okay then. His parents aren't very nice and they know my own, so it was more like a reunion. But they know for sure he's in Gryffindor and how proud he feels about it, so they're not going to let him come over... He's a traitor like James and his family."

Sallie nodded. She understood, now why couldn't James?

"I can see why the thought would bother him. He probably feels the need to protect you from your own family, but he's frustrated that he can't." Zarina didn't think of that. She knew that she was rather meek compared to the rest of her class and house, but she thought she always did well to take care of herself.

"Look," Sallie continued, "I know my cousin. He wants to save the world. He doesn't want to see any of his friends hurt, and there is a very good chance that anytime you go home, you will be. He's just scared for you is all. Try not to get too worked up about it, and I'll let him know to calm down. That work?" She sighed. She didn't want to get in the middle of this, but she knew she had little choice. She liked Zarina. She liked that she wanted to be different than what her family was and her house, but the fact that the Sorting Hat _had_ placed her in Slytherin... well... obviously something was to be said about that. She may not be suspicious now, but well... Sallie was just going to hold judgment for later.

Zarina smiled kindly towards the brunette girl. "Thank you. You've helped reassure me, even if for a little bit." she stood up, and without looking to the boys, and headed out of the Common Room and to her own dorms.

The boys however were talking to themselves, still, about the Map. The only one not too involved was Peter. He looked out of the corner of his eye and watched Zarina go out of the room. It wasn't going to matter whether Sirius or James came over for summer. It wasn't going to make a difference. Things were already starting to advance.

_**A/N: Thank you everyone for being so patient with me! I've had a lot of things going on in my life at the moment and although they haven't gotten sorted out, I feel terrible for not updating! I hope that you all will continue to read, and I promise to continue updating as soon as I can. It's going to get a lot more interesting, I promise! Thank you all for following Zarina's life. And I lurve my bestie, The-other-IThaca-girl**_


	9. 9: GONE

**CHAPTER 9**

_Summer came that year, quicker than I ever could have imagined. _

_The summer that changed everything. For good or for bad, I don't care anymore. I can't change what has happened, nor do I care to at this point. _

_For me, life has finally happened, and it's high-time that I do something about it._

_I am returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for my last year of schooling._

_I hope you're ready for me. _


	10. 10: I am BACK

**CHAPTER 10**

I sat in my own compartment on the train. Legs crossed, I was vaguely aware of what I was reading. It was the Daily Prophet and everyone was _of course_ freaking out about all of the recent Muggle killings. I didn't understand why people cared so much for the Muggles, but whatever. They're dead now. Why should it matter? You can't change the past. People can't seem to understand that concept.

I sat the paper down on my lap and stared out the window. The train had not started to move yet; I was one of the first ones on the train this morning. I could see my reflection in the window and I smiled to myself. Last time I was on this train... Merlin there are so many differences from then and now.

My hair is no longer short and angled. Now, it flows long and jet black, straight as can be. When I was younger, I wished for curls, something to give it definition... now I'm thankful not to have to deal with it.

My features are no longer rounded, child-like and bubbly. These past couple of years seem to have hardened my looks. I don't believe I look stone-like, just more adult. Which, I suppose is normal for a seventeen year-old.

Obviously, I'm taller now than when I was thirteen. That was the age I was afraid to be myself, and how I look was not so much of a concern. I still don't care nearly as much as a few girls in the group do, but, I know how to look my best without little to-do. My legs are long and slender, as are my arms and stomach. I know how to get what I want, without having to use false appearances like most of these little girls.

Granted, I could go on and on about my appearance, but I do have to say... my favorite unchanging feature, are my bright blue eyes. Crystal clear like the lakes, they seem to have been the only thing that hasn't changed.

Smiling to myself, I look away from my reflection in the window. I pull my sleeves of my robes farther down my arms. I don't need any of these little people to start a ruckus over something so silly. Well, I'm sure there will be rumors starting soon. Not that I need them right now.

I can hear voices walking past my compartment. A few look in and stare. Only the seventh years will recognize me, if anything. Its not exactly like I was popular when I was here last. Most of the other students just continue on and try and find their own rooms.

And then I hear a familiar noise. A loud laugh that can only belong to one person. I can't help but look through the faces for the one that it belonged to. And there he was.

He was tall, with shoulder length shaggy hair. His gray eyes bright and familiar. I always knew he was going to be a charmer. Obviously it had worked well for him. He had a cute little brunette on his arm, laughing as he was. She had a bright yellow bow in her hair to match her bright yellow leg warmers. I knew instantly who she was, although the thought of who she was with did not make me feel any better. In fact, I could feel the rising viper in me rise up threateningly. I take a deep breath to calm down. I didn't spend the last few years learning about my anger and how to control it, only to have it get me in trouble in the wrong ways.

Sirius Black and Dimitri Walburn walk passed my window and more of their group follow. Remus Lupin (still looking as shaggy has ever, the poor lad) is chatting with Dimitri's friend, one of the last people I talked to before I left that summer, Sallie Cartwright. She too has come into herself, and very well. Its no wonder that she can have someone like Remus interested.

I catch eyes with the next boy that walks by. The chubby little ass who has tried to make my life hell for the last few years. I scoff and shake my head as he winks and continues to follow behind Sirius and Remus. Always behind those stronger than him.

The next scene makes my heart stop. The boy that I had such a crushing for, the one that I thought of so much when I was away. He hadn't changed. His black messy hair was still the same. His hazel eyes were unchanging behind his glasses, still full of sarcastic remarks and humor. He had a nicer build than what I remember; he must have continued with Quidditch through the years. He was still slender, but I could tell he was fast. He wore a smirk, knowing he had a catch on his hands. As he passed I could see him turn around and pull a pale arm towards him, bringing the figure closer. All I was able to see through the small window was a flash of red hair. I could feel the viper inside poised to strike, hissing. I knew it who it was. The trio of girls had finally joined the Marauders. It was disgusting.

Angrily I crumpled up the Daily Prophet in my lap and threw it across the compartment. Crossing my arms, I could feel the train start to move. Good. I was tired of just sitting here; at least now it could feel like I was accomplishing something.

My door opened, and walked in Severus Snape. Behind him was Jason Avery and Evan Rosier. Evan I didn't mind so much... Jason however was an annoying prick. Why Severus had them hanging around constantly I had no idea. Saxton Wilkes closed the door behind him, finishing Severus' little gang. Severus sat across from me, barely batting an eye as he moved the crumpled newspaper to the floor, making more room for himself. Evan sat next to Severus, plopping down as he did so.

Jason however thought he was going to be a cunning little boy when he decided to sit rather close to me. I look at him, a glare in my blue eyes.

"You really think you're allowed there?" I ask him. The hierarchy of this group is as follows: Severus, myself, Saxton, Evan and then Jason. The fact that this little boy thinks he can sit anywhere near me, is just silly. Especially if he thinks he can keep his hand on my leg.

"You know you like it." this boy has been sexually withdrawn for too long. Such a perverted little child. His hand raises up my leg. Obviously he has forgotten just _who _I am. A point I will once again have to make.

A loud crack! Noise and it's over. His hand is off my leg, holding onto his cheek. Four slices, dripping with blood and onto his robes. The cuts were deep; they were going to leave marks for quite some time. But it got the point across. Out of shock he dropped off the seat and landed on the floor. He bunched up the bottoms of his robes and held it up to the cuts.

"You fucking bitch! How dare you?"

"How dare I?" I smile venomously at him as Saxton takes Jason's spot. This boy however is smart and doesn't lay a finger on me. Instead, he leans against the back of the seat, content. Jason can only glare up at him from the floor.

"You should know better than to temp the Temptress." Saxton winks. My smile turns wicked at the name. He had a point. Severus merely rolls his eyes.

"I was surprised to hear that you wanted to come back to the school, Zarina."

"I figured it was time to show my face once again. After all, it's a shame to cover all of this up." I can see Saxton smile, nodding. Evan was barely paying any attention; he had picked up my newspaper and was scanning through the obituaries. I never fully understood him. I could still hear Jason muttering obscene words under his breath. He knew better than to say them too loudly, lest he wanted worse.

"Well, I'm glad that you decided to. This year will definitely be interesting. Do they know you're coming back?"

Saxton's smile faded, as did Evan look up from his paper. This was a common problem brought up. They all knew how I was in school. It was all she could do to not have it brought back up and rubbed in her face.

"No." I can hear the acid in my words. "They don't know I'm back. But they will, soon."

"Did the Dark Lord give you your mission then?"

"He knows what I can do, what I was, and yes. He did give me some information to get. After all, we students are the future of the wizarding race. We need to convert as many as possible while weeding out the infections."

Severus gave me a lingering glance. He knew who I meant by infection. I stared him down. I had no problem taking care of any sort of "disease" that was polluting the gene pool of our race.

It was getting dark out. We were getting close. The boys had finished changing into their school clothes (I already had mine on) and were in a detailed conversation about their summer. I however, kept my attention out the window. I could see the lights off in the distance getting closer. The time for me to reveal myself after five years of hiding and honing my skills was coming closer. No there wasn't going to be a big showdown or even a big ordeal. But they would know I was there. These little witches and wizards will come to adore me.

I will see to it.


	11. 11: What Do You Want Me To Say?

**CHAPTER 11**

_**A/N: It must have been quite some time since I updated, since I've gotten 200 hits on the last three chapters alone today! Yay! But no reviews... :-\ Y'all should change that! :-D It would be much appreciated! I want to know what you guys think about me switching to first person point of view and what you guys think of the inner workings of Zarina's mind!**_

_**Love!**_

Sure enough I received a few glances at the Slytherin table. Most of them already knew who I was, and had seen me before make a few stops at their homes, so for me to show up back at school, well... it was quite an interesting reaction. One that I didn't mind however. And then of course, there was the reaction of getting a little too close. Ones that thought we were friends just because I saw them once or twice since I've been gone. And then there were the ones that I wanted something _more_ just because we worked somewhat close together these last few years. Well. They received about the same treatment as Jason Avery.

When it was time for bed, I could hear the whispers being spread around me from other houses. I had barely made it out of the Great Hall before I heard my name yelled out loud and before I could even turn around to acknowledge what was going I was tackled to the floor.

I stood up angrily, ready to hex whoever it was that had publicly humiliated me. Until, of course, I realized who it was.

"God DAMN it, Black! Who said you could do that!" However I couldn't help but laugh. I should have seen it coming from him, I just thought he would have been a little more suave about it.

"Who said I couldn't?" he grinned and barked out his laughter. "So you're back! Great! Have you seen the others yet? You have to see James, he'll be so stoked! Everyone will be so happy!"

"Tonight?"

"Sure! We were planning a party anyways, so you can join us! Lily and Wally don't want to join though, they're more interested in sleeping at the moment. And Sallie is already down in the dungeons checking on her work, so it'd be just the five of us. Just like old times!" His face was lit up too much for me to deny him.

"Alright, fine. I'll go to this little party with you guys. We can catch up." I flashed him a smile. He grinned back at me and I could tell he was melting just ever so slightly at my whim.

"Great. You can meet us out by the Forbidden Forest after curfew." I could feel my skin crawl when he mentioned that Forest. Never had I wanted to go in there. Even when James and I had our first date there, when he first asked me out all of those years ago... I mentally shook myself. I would not think of those times. However. Tonight would prove rather difficult. But, I wasn't top of my skill range for nothing. I could handle this. Hell, I could handle anything that got thrown my way.

"We can show you a really cool surprise, I think you'll totally dig." He winked. Oh boy. I just_ love_ surprises. Sigh.

"Right." I couldn't help but add a little sarcasm. It didn't go unnoticed, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Anyways, Rina. We'll see you tonight then. Wear something cute to show off those legs of yours. Get James really in a fit." He winked again and headed towards the Gryffindor tower. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. First the use of Rina; that was something I hadn't heard in years. Ever since that summer I made sure that no one ever called me that again. But perhaps, Sirius did have a point. Maybe I _should_ make James go into a fit. It's been such a long time, I'm sure I can make him wiggle just a little bit. I smile to myself and head to my own dungeons. It was going to be weird without Bridgette pestering me what to wear. It was going to be weird in general without having her by my side. I had gotten so used to it.

I push the thought of Bridgette out of my head as I lay on my bed, relaxing before it was time to get ready. I still had a few hours before curfew was over, so I had time to think about what I was going to wear, what tonight was going to be like, and just to relax from all of the stress at being back to school.

School... what a funny term. After everything I had been through it's amazing that I still have another year left. It feels like I had been gone for a century or more. Every trial and tribulation was to bring me stronger than ever before. Stronger than _anyone_ before.

What seemed just a few minutes I realized it was already time to get up and go. I hurriedly changed my clothes from the school uniform to a pair of holey jeans and a tank top. Thankfully September was still warm enough for such. I grabbed my wand and headed out of the green and silver decorated room.

My honed sneaking senses allowed me to maneuver effortlessly throughout the castle without getting caught. I did however, pass Filch's cat a few times, coming up from the dungeons, but I was long gone before she could track me down again with Filch at her feet.

The moon was visible, but only barely. The cloudy night kept the heat in and the light out. I muttered quietly to my wand, "Lumos," and continued following the edge line of the Forest. I was sure that either Sirius or one of the boys would have left me a clear sign to follow.

Sure enough, as soon as I thought it, I found something. A giant bear-like dog was standing at the edge of the forest, the side closest to the lake. It wasn't looking at me, but staring out at the water. A weird calming feeling filled me; odd considering this dog was massive. Even more odd, however was the giant male deer that walked up beside him. Neither of the animals looked at one another, both just staring out to the lake. Wordlessly I extinguished my wand, and allowed my eyes to readjust to the darkness. I stopped around twenty feet away from the pair of animals, watching them. Never had I seen animals remain so still and unmoving. The large stag finally turned and looked at me. Well, looking _at_ me wasn't a good term, because it was more than that. More like... seeing me as an old friend would see someone. Happiness with a solemn heart, was more than accurate. Bowing its head, the massive animal walked back into the forest. It was now that the giant dog turned it's own massive head at me.

It's gray eyes were like pools of silver. It was a beautiful color, one that I'm surprised I could have seen considering how far away I was. This too was a happy expression that it gave, with only a solemn background. What the hell was with these animals I had no idea. I figured it was something James and Sirius had set up. Was it possible to Imperius animals? I assume it would be, but how would they know orders? My mind quickly thought of the possibilities till I reminded myself of who I was thinking about. Neither James Potter nor Sirius Black would ever consider using the Imperius curse on anything, animal or wizard. Silly boys.

The dog walked closer to me, his eyes never leaving my own. The massive beast's head was level with my chest, his shoulder at my waist. It's shaggy black hair bouncing slightly as he made his way over. He truly was a magnificent creature, if not so odd and out of place in this forest.

He stopped just a mere foot or so away from me, his long tail wagging slightly.

It was a stare down. I couldn't think of what to say to this creature, and I'm sure it was waiting for me to.

"I suppose it's now or never." Was all I could say. I had no idea if that was the right thing or not, but he turned and walked back after the stag. I could see the giant paw prints this monster was leaving behind him. It was remarkable and left me in awe. I could see him stop a few feet away from me and impatiently he waved his head, as if telling me to hurry up. Nodding, I caught up with him and laid my hand on his shoulder. Gently I scratched between his shoulder blades as we walked together through the forest.

We made it to a large clearing, and the stag stood just out of range of a large hideous looking tree. I was able to immediately recognize it as the Whomping Willow. I had heard stories about it when I was still attending school, although I personally had never seen it. Sure enough it was waving it's branches threateningly, knowing that the prey it wanted to attack was just out of range. My eyes quickly scanned the area, something that training for long periods of time had trained me to do. Always find an exit. However, before I could define my way out, my eyes fell on a little mammal next to the stag. Unlike the other two animals, it wasn't looking at me, but away. It was nervous, as if it didn't like it's present company. Something I thought strange anyways, considering how it didn't bother to run away at the sight of the giant dog, something that could easily squish it between it's massive jowls.

It squeaked roughly when noticing that the dog was present as was I. And then I noticed it. The nervous rat had a very good reason to be nervous, although not because of it's massive friends. It knew me. And I knew him. I knew him anywhere, even in rat form.

"Is this my surprise? You all are Animagus?" I knew that Pettigrew couldn't become one on his own. His magic was weak and pitiful, just like he was. There was only one way he could have become one and that had to have been the help with his three trusting friends. I was angry. He had friends to help him succeed and use his skills to boast. I however used Bridgette for our endeavor with the Animagus magic. Thankfully we had succeeded but only just. I was angry. I knew it was rather unjust since they actually had intended it to be a surprise... but still. I was shaking. The dog, which I knew now as Sirius (there was honestly no mistaking those eyes once I was able to put the two together), back away slowly, his ears down and eyes narrowed. As animals, they could sense my anger radiating. I took a deep breath and held up my hands as a sign of no harm. If they were able to turn into animals like I was, and as giant animals as no less, I had no chance. I knew my skill level and even at twelve I knew how powerful they were. I couldn't take on all three. Well, I could take Pettigrew easily but by the time I finished him off I would have to deal with the other two and well, that would just be more of a hassle than I would like to deal with at the moment.

Two of the boys changed. James and Sirius stood before me, blinking rather surprised.

"How did you know we were Animagus?" I heard a squeak and watched Pettigrew run underneath the tree. He hit a knot and the tree froze. I nodded, understanding the need for such a little freak ball. The boys still were looking at me expectantly. I didn't think about the fact that perhaps they thought it should have been something surprising and miraculous. Too bad they didn't know that I too was an Animagus, so it lost it's luster quite significantly.

I stood up straight and looked them each in the eye. I didn't know what they expected me to say. I decided not to say anything, but wait for them. What did they expect for me?

_**A/N: Thank you to my two reviewers! You guys are awesome! :-D I'm so far very surprised at how many people loved Zarina's meek personality! Please, continue to let me know how I'm doing! **_


	12. 12: Old Flames and FireWhiskey

**CHAPTER 12**

_**A/N: Thank you to everyone that reviewed! You guys are awesome! I'm still very shocked at how everyone is afraid for Zarina's new approach on life! Well, more on that later, please enjoy and don't be afraid to let me know what you think!**_

I couldn't tell them that I knew that they were Animagus because I knew what form Peter took. I had seen him for the last few months take that form to try and win favors. He really was the slimy rat that he turned into. I couldn't think of an excuse quick enough for them.

"Just whatever. The surprise is blown." Sirius sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "This was supposed to be a fun time catching back up, nothing hostile."

James nodded, not taking his eyes off of me. He didn't like the fact that I didn't have an answer. I hadn't had contact with these guys for almost five years and I knew one of their biggest secrets? I can see why he would be suspicious. Finally he turned and walked into the hole that was underneath the Whomping Willow. Thankfully it was in James' nature to never distrust his friends. Even if things were weird.

I relaxed my shoulders and took a deep breath. Danger averted.

Sirius walked over to me, looking at me from a tilted angle- he had picked up more from his dog form than the other way around.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, you know." His voice was quiet, husky even. His eyes were no longer somber but something I couldn't identify. "You've been gone for a very long time, Rina. I want this to be fun for us. I don't know what you have been doing these last couple of years, but please, relax. No one wants to hurt you. We just want some fun, catching up stories."

I nodded. I didn't want to have any issues tonight either. I just wanted to have "fun" like they did. I haven't had normal fun in years.

I followed Sirius and went through the small opening underneath the tree. We crawled on our hands and knees, Sirius in front of me. He was so calm, it was almost annoying. How in the world they found something like this, I had no idea. He began to whistle a jaunty tune, letting know whatever was ahead of us, that two delicious teenagers were coming their way. Obviously we were in no danger, he had apparently done this billions of times by the way he was carrying on. It was dark in this tunnel, yet he had no problems going over rocks, hitting the turns (like I did. My shoulders were starting to hurt from scraping the walls), or any issues. Soon, I was able to see past Sirius' head as light was shining through the exit of this god forsaken tunnel.

"Here we go!" He stopped and dropped from the tunnel onto what sounded like someone jumping on hardwood flooring. It was a noise that I didn't expect to hear at all, and it threw me off guard. But once he was out of the way, it made sense. We had followed the tunnel into an underground bedroom.

There was a large bed on the side of the room. It was torn to pieces and shredded everywhere. Pillow feathers laid sprawled out around it, as if it were confetti. The pretty red and gold wallpaper were peeling, not from age, but from being shredded repeatedly. In the middle of the room, Remus, James and Peter had already brought out a deck of cards, and five large bottles of FireWhiskey were on the table, unopened.

"Its about time you two made it! I thought you might have gotten lost!" Peter exclaimed! A weird twinkle was in his eye.

"I thought you two might have changed it into the tunnel of love." James winked, making me want to smack that smirk right off of his face. Sirius could only laugh as he plopped down on the seat next to Remus, leaving me the seat next to James.

"C'mon now, girlie, I don't bite." He smiled, patting the seat next to him.

"You may not, but I sure do." I said playfully back. Sirius let out a low wolf whistle. "She's feisty!"

"There's a whole lot about me that you don't know, Black." I winked at him, sitting down and dragging one of the huge bottles over to me, claiming it as my own. I had a rather soft spot for the drink.

"Oh really now? What could you be hiding, dear little Rina?" He grabbed his own bottle, opening it and chugging the first couple of drinks all in one fluid motion. The other boys quickly followed suit and chugged the first couple of drinks. Peter nearly gagged as the fiery drink burned his throat on the way down. I couldn't help but grin wickedly at him. It was my turn, and I knew I didn't disappoint. I drank just as much as they did and gave a satisfactory sigh.

"Delicious." I grinned into the bottle. I've missed this drink oh so much.

James nodded approvingly. "You have been having fun, haven't you?" I flashed him a smirk and I could see Peter shaking his head, out of the corner of my eyes. I could sense Remus watching the interaction curiously.

"It's definitely been an interesting few years. So, tell me boys, what have you four been getting into?"

"Well, James and Lily Evans are pretty hot and heavy since this summer." I could hear the wickedness behind Peter's comment. He was trying to get me riled up, I knew it. His plan wasn't going to work. I took another large gulp of FireWhiskey.

"Good for him, he's been drooling after her since first year." I said, picking up the deck of cards. I started shuffling and handing them out to the boys. James could only stare at wonder.

"What are you talking about? I was with you till you disappeared after the our second year."

"Oh I know. It doesn't mean you didn't fancy her, Jamie." I cooed. "The game is Bullshit, you all know how to play?" All of them shook their heads. I sighed. I wonder if it was an American game.

"I didn't fancy her then, I fancied you!" His face was getting red. I could tell that he didn't appreciate not being on top of this little back and forth. Obviously he had been used to it for too long.

"The game is simple. We pass out the deck, and start off with Aces. Say, I lay down three aces, but in reality I only had two. Sirius however has the other two, so he knows I'm full of shit. So he says Bullshit and whatever is left in the pile, I have to pick up. It goes in order from there and whoever runs out of cards first, wins. Simple?" I took another drink, and answered James. "And I fancied you too. But it doesn't mean that you weren't looking at other girls. God knows I was looking at other boys." Sirius was in the middle of drinking when he began coughing. Peter was looking hungrily between the three of us.

"Enough. We're supposed to be having fun." Remus intervened. "We don't need to have that talk. What is done is done. James is with Lily now, and that's it." he said. It was a point that not many people had. The past is the past and that's where it should be left.

Sirius finally recovered, his face red and his eyes watering. "Go first, Rina." I shrugged. Looking through my hand of cards, and found one ace. Carefully I laid it face down. "One ace. Jamie, you next with twos."

It took him a second to sort out through his cards, shaking his head. I could tell he wanted to say more on the Lily subject but he kept quiet.

"Two twos." he laid down the two cards on top of mine. Peter was next with three's.

"Four three's." he mumbled.

"Bullshit." I called immediately. I didn't have any three's and for all I knew he could have been telling the truth. Except I knew him better than that. I could tell when he was lying. I had been around him long enough to know.

Peter looked between the boys, to see if they were going to believe him or not. Sirius tilted his head to the side, curious.

"You don't believe me?" He squeaked out. God these boys were more like their forms that I thought I was.

"Not at all, you rat." I smirked and flipped over his cards. Sure enough it was one three, a king, a jack and an eight. I pushed all of the cards to him. "Pick 'em up."

"Fucking snake." I heard him mutter under his breath. I didn't bother to correct him. It was true enough. I had come back mainly for one purpose, and that was to poison this Garden of Eden.

"Remus, lovely, you're turn." He gave me a lingering glance and laid down one card. "One four."

"One five!" Sirius slammed down his card. He was starting to get a bit buzzed from continuously chugging his drink.

"Two sixes." The night wore on. Sirius and I getting more and more drunk as the night went on. James was still sulking for the most part until about halfway through the game when he started to finally loosen up. It was the most I had seen Remus laugh in quite some time. Poor little Peter's face was bright red by half of the bottle.

My hand was finding it's way higher and higher up Sirius' leg. From what I had been hearing about him and Di was that they were more of fuck buddies than anything else. So I was still able to mess around. Which I probably would have anyways. Like I said before, I always knew he'd be quite the charmer.

"So where have you been hiding these last couple of years?" He whispered drunkenly in my ear. By this point in the night I had joined him in his chair and was twirling his hair between my fingers. Peter was passed out in his chair, cards stuck to his forehead. James and Remus were conversing off in a corner, what they were talking about, I really didn't care at this point. My mind was fuzzy. I probably had had too much to drink, but I was at the point of not caring about anything. I had had my own bottle, and the rest of Pettigrew's. Sirius had his own and was working on Remus' own bottle. James was making wild arm movements (he obviously felt as good as we did), talking about some wild prank that he wanted to pull off.

"Oh you know," I giggled, "Around here and there, doing everyone's dirty work."

He snuggled his face into my neck, breathing heavily. This was going to end very interestingly if he didn't stop. Not that I wanted him to. "Hmm... what kind of dirty work?"

I bit his ear to stop from kissing down any farther.

"Stuff you couldn't imagine if you wanted to, Black." I could hear him growl at my obvious beat-around-the-bush style.

"So where did you find this place?" I asked. I couldn't help but look around my surroundings again. Unfortunately it made me really dizzy and forced my head down onto his chest. The room wouldn't stop spinning.

I couldn't understand what he had mumbled. Something about Remus though. All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears as it swirled in my head, making me groan aloud. Maybe I _had_ drunk too much. Was that possible? I sure as hell didn't think it was. Granted I was closing in on my third bottle by this point. I think it was the third bottle. I don't remember. I know I finished off two...

The next thing I knew I was waking up half naked next to a half naked Sirius in the crazy messed up bed. I groaned slightly, not really remembering what happened, if anything. Carefully and cautiously I sat up, looking around the room. James was passed out on a nearby couch, Peter at his feet, and Remus was on a loveseat across from them. I had no idea what time it was. All I knew was that my head hurt like a son of a bitch and that I was missing my shirt and pants.

Quickly I was able to locate them (thrown across the floor of course) and got dressed before any noise could wake them up. I stood there for a second, trying to think if it would be best to wake them up or let them sleep and just slip out. I couldn't hide from my instincts and I followed my way out of the tunnel we had come through earlier.

When I was finally free of the dusty and moldy smelling tunnel I realized it was still dark outside. It seemed I had only passed out for a few hours and that classes weren't going to begin for sometime. I groaned at the hangover I was going to have in my first class. This was not going to be fun. My first class was Charms. Whoever thought that was the class everyone wanted first thing in the morning was the devil. Pure and simple. Why couldn't it have been something easy like Transfiguration or better yet, History of Magic so I could just sleep? God I could tell I was still drunk. My inner monologue was going crazy.

By the time I yelled mentally at myself for thinking such crazy things, I made it down to the dorm rooms. Filling up my glass repeatedly with water I was finally able to pass out comfortably on my bed. The last fleeting image I had before I was able to go back to sleep was Sirius beaming down from on top, shirtless, whispering sweet nothings. And then the horrid nightmares came.

_**A/N: Okay, this one I really want a review on! Please let me know what you think!**_


	13. 13: That Summer Revealed

**CHAPTER 13**

_**A/N: Wow! I have so many people to thank for different reasons! So I'll start easily:**_

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_**Thank you for all the repeated love! I now have 20 reviews and you have no idea how much that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside! Here's Chapter 13!**_

My head hurt that next morning. My head hurt for the following week. It didn't help my temper any when I saw Sirius hanging all over Dimitri Walburn than next morning, acting like nothing had happened. Maybe he didn't remember anything like I did. I only knew something happened because I was the first to wake up. Either way, it didn't sit well with me. I angrily stabbed my hashbrowns, annoyed that they wouldn't stick on my fork.

Severus eyed me warily as I glared daggers at my breakfast. Evan raised an eyebrow at me as I moved on to stabbing my eggs.

"Something bothering you, Zarina?"

"Nope." Stab.

He just nodded and went back to eating his own bacon.

Stab.

The bell rang soon after for our first day of class. Charms being to beginning, Potions at the end. It wasn't a terrible day, just one I didn't want to deal with. Thankfully there weren't any boring classes in the middle so I knew the day would fly by for the most part.

Thankfully it did. Everyone was so preoccupied with classes that I didn't get a chance, or rather the Marauders didn't get a chance, to catch up on what happened last night. The bell for dinner was soon sounding, and it couldn't have been better timing; I smiled as I could feel my stomach growl.

My mind was wandering whenever I made it to the Great Hall with the rest of the Slytherins. I couldn't help but think about all the delicious food that was being prepared in the kitchens. I would be surprised if no one could see the drool.

The next thing I knew however, my arm was being tugged- I really needed to pay more attention- I was being spinned and thrown off balance. Blinking unknowingly, I looked around my surroundings. I was engulfed in red and gold and sitting in someone's lap. I could feel the anger start to rise when I saw a big playful smile attached to the head on my shoulder.

"Really? It was that easy?" I glared at him. His smile grew larger.

"It was rather easy, I was surprised myself. You must be still drunk from last night."

"I'm not drunk anymore, Black. I was sober when I woke up, thank you." Bold face lie.

"Right, just like you woke up fully clothed and-"

"Enough!" I glared at him just like I had glared at my eggs. But the thought of "if looks could kill" apparently didn't reach his mind. He just continued smiling that goofy, idiotic, self-absorbed, cute, sexy smile of his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"What's the matter? Don't want to admit the truth?"

"What truth? Nothing happened last night."

He didn't say anything but continued to smile. I groaned inwardly. I had feared this. Something _did_ happen last night.

"Right. Nothing happened. So no big deal. C'mon." He stood up, taking me with him. Kindly, he grabbed a muffin and tossed it my way, dragging me outside with him. This was not the feast I had envisioned.

"What do you want, Black?" I bit into the muffin, wondering what it would be like if the muffin were his head.

"Drop the formalities, Zilini." He rolled his eyes. "We've known each other for too long for you to continue calling me by my last name. Besides, you sound like one of them when you say it like that."

"One of them?" Who did I sound like?

"My parents. Death Eaters. Whichever you prefer, they're just as bad." Oh yeah. Well there was a reason behind that...

"Why is it such a big deal?" I threw the empty wrapper on the ground, not caring so much as we kept walking.

"Because that's not you."

"You mean that's not what you remember of the twelve-year old little girl you had a crush on, right?" The look he gave me hurt. It was a weird pain. One that I had never experienced before; it went down to something more than just my heart. It was a piercing pain. It stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I want some questions answered, Zarina." He said quietly. He was no longer happy and bouncy like he was in the Great Hall, but he was the same as he was that one summer in my bedroom. Where he was innocent and anything could hurt him. Not the Sirius everyone had come to know and respect. But the insecure little boy who wanted nothing more than to please people. The look that he had given me caught me more off guard than when he dragged me to his lap earlier.

"Okay..." it was all I could say. He sat down at the edge of the lake, watching the crystal-surfaced water reflect the sunset. Carefully I sat next to him, unknowing what was going to come next.

"What happened to Bridgette? We all know what she was and that she died... but why? How?"

There was more to his questions I could tell, but what he wanted to know I wasn't sure about.

"About a year or so ago, she got caught in the crossfire of something horrible. Regulus and her were on... a date or something when they were ambushed by Death Eaters. They only wanted her dead though because he was fine. There were too many of them for him to stop it from happening. They left as quickly as they came..."

I remember that night vividly. Mainly because I was the one that had to kill her. Kill the traitor. She knew too many of His secrets. However she found out about it... Thankfully he didn't know I knew. Many times did he try to penetrate my mind... one of the last things Bridgette ever taught me was how to close it out completely... even to the Dark Lord. It was our only chance for survival in this world. Never Let Anyone In.

Sirius had pulled my hands, making me sit next to him as I relived that night. I kept out the fact that I was the one that did it. I kept out the fact that Regulus cursed my name the whole time. How he looked at me, through my mask and into my soul. The sheer terror of it all.

"So they let you free too? You and Reggie?"

"Y-yeah. Something like that. They weren't worried about me."

"That's strange." His gray eyes were boring into mine. Even the story sounded fishy to me but I couldn't think of why. I couldn't find the loophole in my story until he pointed it out.

"Zarina. Death Eaters don't allow anyone to live once they've started killing. Regulus told me he had to fight for his life. He was cursed over and over again and left for dead."

I didn't know about that part. Once my job of killing Bridgette was over, I had Apparated as soon as I could out of there. I wasn't supposed to; I still had the tracker on me from the Ministry. When I arrived at my apartment in London, I immediately transformed into my animagus form. The Ministry officials didn't notice the brightly colored snake in the tree. They didn't notice the viper, sitting there, waiting to strike if they came too close. I was the Eyelash Viper. Brightly colored yellowish orange, I was venomous, dangerous, easy to piss off.

"I didn't know that..." I could barely say it.

"How could you not have, you were there? Did you run away? You left my brother and Bridgette to die?" He couldn't keep the contempt out of his voice, not like I could blame him for that.

"Bridgette was already dead!" I on the point of hysteria for some reason. I had never lost my cool this way. Somehow Sirius was able to get to me like that. He was able to bring out feelings and emotions that I have never experienced or something that I had tried to hard to keep away. "I made sure she was dead! I had to!"

"Why did you have to?" His voice wasn't raised, but his eyes continued to stare straight into mine. I brought my legs up to my chin and hid my lap. Tears were pouring down my face, and I was too ashamed to show them.

"It was my job." I whispered. "I had to make sure she was dead."

Obviously this wasn't the words he thought he would hear. I'm sure that he thought that I was going to tell him that I ran away and never looked back. Or that I sat there hiding behind some building until the Death Eaters left and I checked on Bridgette or something. Whatever he thought, more than likely it wasn't that.

"What are you talking about? Your job?"

I hiccuped. "You can't tell anyone, Sirius. I mean it. I could get myself killed out here if anyone finds out that you guys know. There are always someone watching..." I sounded like a paranoid freak, but I didn't care. I had been wanting to tell them for so long, since I was captured over that summer vacation. How badly I wanted them to come rescue me from my personal hell.

"Okay... fine... what's the deal, Zarina?"

I hiccuped again and slowly raised my left sleeve up. The Dark Mark glistened on my pale skin, bouncing off the bright moonlight.

His eyes grew wide. "What?"

"Bridgette was a Death Eater also and she found out terrible things about the Dark Lord. How she found out, I'm not sure... but she did... and he found out that she knew. So... as if to punish all three of us... I was forced to kill her. I had to. They would have killed me too, if I couldn't. So... I killed her... I left right after though, I couldn't bare it. My job was done, I was alive another day..." tears were streaming unheeded down my face now. I couldn't look at him. I could feel his eyes on me still. I wanted them to go away. But more than that, I wanted him to hold me like he did last night... how when I woke up, I really didn't want to leave.

God what an eventful first two days of school. How could I have ever left this place? Even in my mind I could hear the sarcasm dripping.

I thought he was going to shun me. I thought he was going to get up and just leave me to wallow in my deeds. To leave me sitting there thinking about all of the things that I had done. But he didn't. He didn't move. I couldn't take it, I finally looked at him, needing to know what he was thinking. But he did the unimaginable.

Without a second thought he grabbed me and held me close. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I broke down, crying like I did when I was first taken away.

"What have they done to you?" he whispered in my ear. His voice was full of concern, concern that I didn't understand or comprehend. Why would he care like this and why would he hug a murder? Really? What was with this kid?

"So much... Bridgette is dead, my parents were murdered when I was kidnapped and I was tortured so many times..." I sounded like martyr. Too bad this was something important or else I would think I was trying to manipulate the situation. Whatever. I'm freaking the hell out. _Why_ is he still holding me? _Why_ hasn't he ran away yet like he should!

"Rina, I'm so sorry. We just figured that your parents took you away from school. We didn't know what happened to you. You never wrote, and goodness knows we tried. We didn't know if we got you in trouble more because of it."

"No... that summer... I got off the train and to Kings Cross station..." the memories were flooding back to me. Memories I had long forgotten. He had let me go, and was listening intently. It was dark now, and the moonlight was making his eyes glisten somehow. Ugh, I hate the hopeless romantic side. I thought that was locked away.

"My parents picked me up, but they were panicky. Something was wrong immediately I could tell. Mom ushered me into the car and drove as quickly as she could. Had there been police around, I'm sure it would have started a chase. Frankly I'm surprised it didn't happen...

"But we got home, and they procrastinated at the car for a while. I didn't think anything of it as I walked in the house and into the living room. Sitting there, on our sofa, he was dressed in a long black cloak, his red eyes staring at me.

"'Little Zarina.' he had said. I could ice cubes sliding down my back it seemed. I got the chills and it wasn't from my parents letting the wind blow through the open door. Mom and dad stood at the doorway, watching everything.

"'Do you know why I am here, little girl?' he asked me. I replied that I had no idea. I don't think I ever really believed that my parents were ever killers. So the next thing he said caught me off guard horribly.

"'They have failed me. They ran away. Only cowards and traitors run away.' He stood up, staring through me and to them. 'They failed on their mission and so ran away. This is not tolerable.' He never yelled, just the malice in his voice was strong.

"And then he killed them. Not another word or thought, he shot out that bright beautiful green jet, over my head and killed my parents. He looked down at me then, wand pointed at me, as if I were next. I sat there in disbelief. I didn't cry, I didn't whimper, I did nothing but stare him down as he was me. I guess you would call it shock.

"He laughed after that. 'Dear child, I think you will do. Yes. I have plans for you. From what I hear, you are already becoming quite the witch, and with a little work I think you will do just fine." He laid a cold, cold hand on my shoulder and pushed me over my parent's corpses and through the threshold outside. When we made it to the car, without a second thought, my house was on fire. I turned around only to see my house on fire and the family portrait blowing in the wind, embers catching the corners on fire. My life was over. Everything I ever knew was gone. I just knew that I needed to survive."

I exhaled. I was no longer crying, but talking as if all of that had happened to someone else. At least that's what it felt like. Which, I guess you could say was true. I was no longer that cute, tiny little child, but a moderately grown woman who knew how to destroy things with the simplest curse and people with only words.

Sirius let out a low whistle. Gently he brushed the hair out of my face. Still he had not ran, and he never interrupted my story, like he actually wanted to hear it.

"So how'd you end up back here?"

I thought about that for a minute. I had told the Dark Lord that I would be able to help gain supporters if I was able to go back. Get the young ones started early. Do I tell him that?

"I told him it would be best for me to come back. He didn't argue. I assume he has a plan for me being here, that he just wont tell me, yet."

"Are you that high up that you can do whatever you want?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Hell no. I just know what I can and can't get away with. I'm needed, yes, but I'm not indispensable and I know that. I think I am one of the few smart ones that knows that difference. God knows Bella thinks she's top dog." I shook my head. Bellatrix had become my mentor for the most part, growing up with the Death Eaters and her, I learned everything as painful as I could possibly stand and then some.

Sirius shook his head, he knew his cousin well enough to believe that. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. What a long night.

"So what now?" I asked him.

"I have no idea." and for once I really didn't.

_**A/N: So? What do you think? I tried making it longer, and it was by a couple of pages. :-P But please, continue to let me know what you think! **_


	14. 14: A New Change

**CHAPTER 14**

_**A/N: I can't believe how many people enjoy my story! Yay! And we have made it to chapter 14; simply amazing! Without further procrastination, here it is!**_

I didn't see much of the Marauders after that night. I don't think it was because Sirius told on me. I really doubt he would do that. I think he might have been confused as to what all happened. Obviously I was. I couldn't blame him though. Maybe he wasn't avoiding me... maybe I was avoiding him. Maybe it was because I didn't want to see his judgmental eyes on me. Or you know, school was getting in the way and because we were two different houses we could rarely see each other. More than likely it was that one.

The classes and school went alright and easy without notice. Mainly because I was already well advanced, just from being out in the field. Sure I didn't know some of the basics but obviously I didn't need them. Not for my line of work anyways.

That was the other issue. Quite often I would feel my tattoo burn something fierce. But I couldn't Apparate or Disapparate inside the castle. And it's not like I could sneak out of class to go to Hogsmeade just to head to wherever the Dark Lord needed me to be. Hopefully if I was able to bring people back he would understand enough. I'm doing my task by remaining here. Having Dumbledore curious as to my random disappearances wouldn't be welcome.

I couldn't keep from thinking about that night. It was closing onto Halloween shortly and nothing had been done about that night. Every day that went by I couldn't help but think that I had scared him off. Why I should care that I did, I had no idea, but despite hating most life forms and blood traitors, Sirius was still a good guy and a good friend.

Like I said, Halloween was fast approaching and every year they did a Halloween dance/ ball thing. I wasn't able to attend my first two years, but I had always wanted to go. As a child Halloween had been my favorite time of the year. Where I could dress as the devil and no one would question other wise. I could be anything I wanted and be everything that I wasn't. Which is why I had the perfect costume in mind for the dance. Now I just needed a date.

My mind was racing with costume ideas as I doodled on my parchment in front of me. I was sitting in History of Magic, bored out of my mind. I couldn't concentrate on Binns talking, all my mind was doing was hitting the repeat button. Costume, that night, Sirius, how badly I suck at dancing, costume, that night, Sirius, etc, etc, etc. But god did I have the awesome costume idea.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder, coming from behind me. Saxton was trying to get my attention about something. I could feel the piece of parchment rubbing against the back of my arm. How cute. A note.

_Are you going to the dance for Halloween?_

I sighed.

_**Yes.**_

Handing the paper back it wasn't long before I received an answer.

_Good. Will you be my date then?_

_**Do I have to?**_

_No, but I would like you to, Zarina. My you're a weird one. You know how many girls have already asked me?_

_**And do you realize how much I care about how many girls have asked you? You sound like Avery. And that's not a good thing, Wilkes. **_

_Fine. Pompous ego out of the way. Will you just answer the question?_

_**You're not who I wanted to go with, but since I doubt he'll ask me... fine. But we're going as friends, nothing more.**_

_Whatever helps you sleep at night, Zilini. You'll realize soon enough that_ _those blood traitors you like hanging out with are nothing but trash. _

_**I know who my friends are, I don't need you to remind me. You're about to cross the line if you don't watch yourself. You know the things I'm capable of.**_

_Stop acting so big and so tough. You can stop hiding behind Bellatrix any time now. Bridgette is dead and for a good reason. You're going to end up like her if you don't learn to watch what you say to people. _

_**What are you saying?**_

_I heard every damn word you told that blood traitor that night. You're lucky I've had to the decency not to speak to anyone about it._

_**...What do you want?**_

_For now, just come to the dance with me._

_**Done.**_

I couldn't believe that I got myself into this kind of mess. This wasn't like me. The bell rang soon after, and I quickly destroyed the evidence of our long note that we wrote back and forth. I shoved all of the confetti pieces into my school bag and glanced behind me at the tall, slight figure of Saxton Wilkes. He was a handsome boy, and tall. He had a rather large nose but it didn't take away from his bright blue eyes behind his light brown hair. I didn't doubt for a minute that he a following of girls after him. But that didn't make sense to me. If he had this following of girls, and I'm sure not all of them were the creepy stalker type (I'm sure there had to be some lookers in the bunch), then why did he want anything to do with me? I shook my head as I left the classroom, making sure not to look behind me at him. I didn't want to give him the pleasure of the fact that I was thinking about his looks. I could just sense the smug satisfaction that he was wearing. It made me want to turn around and punch him so badly. I could feel myself tense as I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. I turned around and was face to face with his chest. God I forgot how tall he was.

"Can I help you?" I asked. I let the malice linger in my voice.

"You can start with being a lot nicer to me, darlin'." He cooed. He brushed some of my hair behind my ear. The anger was boiling up in me, but I couldn't do anything about it, and I knew it. He was going to do something terribly to Sirius and them if I didn't go along with what he wanted... and how he wanted it. I couldn't find a loophole just yet, I hadn't had enough time to think it all the way through just yet.

"Anything else?" I kept the contempt out of my voice.

"Yes. Before Halloween we're going to Hogsmeade for the weekend. Don't worry, Zarina, you'll learn to love me." He head leaned in to whisper the last part, his lips brushing past my cheek as he pulled away. I couldn't say anything. I was still stuck. Smirking he walked off, leaving me to stand there alone.

I didn't have another class after History of Magic, but lunch. I thought vaguely of skipping, and the closer and closer I got to the Great Hall it sounded like a better idea. I stood in the archway, kids already eating and talking. At the Slytherin table I could see Saxton talking with Severus and Evan Rosier, about what I had no idea.

"Rina!" I heard my name called from the other direction, over at the Gryffindor table.

I sighed. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but it would be too weird and suspicious if I didn't. I didn't want to cause any issues right now. I just wanted to go hide.

I resigned and walked over. I wiggled my way next to Sirius and Peter, sitting across from James and Lily, Sallie and Remus.

"Where's Dimitri?" I asked, usually she was hanging around close with the gang, but I didn't see her as I passed the Hufflepuff table either.

"With Regulus, walking around the lake." Lily smiled, causing Sirius to scoff. Regulus needed someone happy in his life after Bridgette. Good for him that he would go after a bubbly Hufflepuff.

"So whats up?" I asked. I was trying to act normal, not let anyone think otherwise. I didn't want to deal with the questions that would follow if they picked up on my edginess.

"We were all discussing what we're being for Halloween." Remus answered.

"Oh, okay. What are you guys doing?"

"Sallie and I are not sure sure yet..." He replied, Sallie nodding.

"I'm being a troll!" Peter squeaked next to me. I couldn't help but think that he deserved to be a troll.

"What about you, Rina? Have you decided what you're going to dress up as?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, I have. But that may have to change depending."

Sirius tilted his head to the side, curious. I shook my head though. I didn't want to talk about what those depending things were. Thankfully he caught on.

"Okay, well, what are you planning?"

"I want to dress as Cupid." I smirked. Apparently this was the farthest thing they thought of me being and caused all kinds of laughter from the group.

"That's awesome!" James laughed.

"That is really good, Rina."

"What about you, Sirius, what are you going to be?"

"I was thinking about being a pirate." I grinned widely.

"I can definitely see that."

"Yup. I'm not going to shave for it either. Be all scruffy." he rubbed his chin in thought.

I shook my head. "Rugged. Not scruffy." He smiled back and let his hand rest on my knee. His hand was so warm and felt so right being there. I mentally shook myself. This school was getting to me. What happened to Zarina Zilini, the Death Eater that commanded attention and respect? The girl that can get away with anything by looks and brain. The girl that took charge and knew how to handle things correctly and swiftly, even if they were bold and bothersome. What happened to her? I needed to get my head back in the game and stop letting all of these damn emotions run rampant and wild. It was getting me in too much of trouble.

"I have to go." I stood up, Sirius following me. I could see Lily smile knowingly at James and he nodded. I growled quietly. There they were, acting like they had any inkling of what was going on, really. I couldn't stand people like that.

I headed out of the Great Hall, Sirius following me like the puppy that he was. I could see Saxton also stand as I headed out. Dear Merlin he was following us. I sighed. This wasn't going to end well. Someone was going to get hurt, and I had no idea who.

I made a beeline for the nearest empty classroom, rubbing my face in my hands. Merlin's great white beard, this wasn't going to end well.

"Rina.. what's the matter? You're acting funny. What's going on?"

"Nothing... nothing is going on, Sirius."

"You sure? You're edgy... Something isn't right." He crossed his arms, watching me intently. I turned to face him, surprised to see how quickly Saxton had found us.

"Yes, Zarina, why are you so edgy?" He asked. Sirius turned around quickly and immediately I saw his eyes narrow angrily. I could imagine easily a dog's haunches rising in ire.

"Merlin's beard, damn it! Both of you knock it off!" I couldn't believe myself when I felt my own foot stomp on the ground.

"Sirius, I'm going to the ball and to Hogsmeade with Saxton. I'd rather not, but I said I would."

I could see Saxton smirk behind Sirius' back. Sirius' hurt look wasn't enough to cool my temper.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to." he said easily.

"I wish it was that simple, but I can't." The lunch bell rang. "I'm going with Saxton." I walked out and left the two of them standing there. Probably wasn't the greatest idea, considering they were both skilled wizards.

It wasn't long before Saxton followed me to class. Herbology was next, and it was just us and the Ravenclaws. No chance of one of the Marauders trying to cause issues... not yet at least.

Class hadn't started yet and we were all standing out by the green house. The Ravenclaw's were all huddled together, as if they thought they were safer in groups. The sky was over cast and there was a mist rolling around the field.

"What the hell was that about, Zarina?" he forcefully inquired. He had me against the glass, arms on either side of my head, holding me there by his fierce and piercing look. I bit my lip. I had never seen him like this. I knew he was strong and there was a reason why he went out on so many missions... but it was something I never thought about. He was always the calm, collected one in the corner who always observed before he took action. I had always admired him for his self composure around tight situations. He was smart; he wasn't the sidekick to Severus as Crabbe and Goyle were to Lucius. I suppose he had been observing long enough that it was time for action.

"What are you talking about, Saxton?" I couldn't keep from staring at his cloudy eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about." He stood up fully, letting his arms drop, but holding me still with his gaze.

"Fine, what do you want?" I just wanted him to go away. Or leave me alone. Something.

"I want you to be happy. But, more than that. I want you to be happy with me." I flinched slightly as his hand went to my cheek, rubbing gently. It would have been sweet if the situation wasn't so menacing.

"What if I don't want to be happy with you?" I said it more viciously than I had intended, but it didn't matter. I didn't want to be happy with him. He wasn't the one I would have wished to ask me to the dance, or to anything really. It just took me till now to realize how close I was to having what I had really wanted.

"You plan on being happy with that blood traitor? And what of your work? You want to shun that off to the side too? Zarina, you are one of the smartest, most beautiful girls that the Dark Lord could have ever brought in to his circle. You need to be treated right, like the Princess you most definitely are. Black isn't going to treat you that way. He's going to treat you like the scum they treat all pure bloods. They don't understand the beauty that is in your blood, Zarina. You need to understand that. Hanging out with them is only going to be damaging to your beauty. And we need to keep that in pristine condition forever."

I didn't know how to answer him. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did deserve to be the princess that I could be. After all, it's how I was going to be treated if my parents were still alive anyways, right? I would have learned early on that seeing anyone other than Regulus in the Black family would have gotten me disowned.

I needed to do what was going to further me the most in my life.

Saxton was right. I needed to be with him. It was going to be the only way.

I stared down at the ground, the realization pouring over me as I stood there. I looked up, my eyes brimming with tears. With one of his cold hands, he wiped the tears away.

"Don't cry, Princess. Everything will be alright now. I'll take care of you; I will make sure you are treated the way you deserve." he pulled me close and held me tight. I couldn't fight it. It sounded so right the way he put it. I wanted it. I wanted to what he had to offer. Cautiously, as if I was afraid he was going to push me away and tell me I was wrong and that he was only kidding, I held him back. Gently he kissed my forehead.

"There. Now was that so hard?" It wasn't. Had I been fighting all of the wrong battles? I had been pushing Saxton Wilkes away for so long just because I thought he was undeserving. Or was it because I had always thought that I would come back to James? Or Sirius? What had I really wanted?

"No, I suppose not."

"Good." He smiled down at me, wrapping his arm around my waist. Finally, the professor had made their way down to the green house. One by one we made our way into the glass building, curious as to what was going to happen next. Just like I was about my life.

_**A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Let me know what you think, please! I've had almost 1000 hits just for October alone and I want to double it! Please review and let me know what you think about this chapter! I love hearing from you guys!**_


	15. 15: That Weird Feeling

**CHAPTER 15**

_**A/N: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!**_

It felt like being back at the "safe" house that I had stayed at for so long with all of the other Death Eater's in training. Saxton too had been removed from his family (although his basically threw him out the door), so he too understood the feeling of having no one. During those years that we learned all we could from the older members, we had each other to turn to. To talk to about when Bellatrix went too far with the Cruciatus curse or when Lucius failed to Imperius one of us. Bridgette was still alive then too. She was with us then. Always with us. Even Regulus would come visit for the summer, unbeknownst to his parents and brother. Sirius was the one subject we always tried to avoid when talking about his family.

It was like being back all over again though. Just the two of us, Regulus visiting every now and again. Only we, Saxton and I, knew what was going on. No one else could understand. Why would they. Even Snape and Rosier didn't get it even. Everyone was afraid of us. All of the other students, all of the Death Eater's kids and the ones that had snuck back into the school... they were afraid of our power. We were top of our classes. We didn't accept failure from ourselves or each other. Not when it meant survival in the outside world.

The Marauders became more and more distant with me as I started dating Saxton. They obviously disapproved of it. They feared for me; I could see it in their worried glances as we passed through the hallways. Once or twice I think they tried stopping us in the hall so we could talk things over... but it wasn't worth my time. I knew what they were going to say. I knew they would give me the lecture that I'm better than the scum I hang out with. It didn't matter. I knew where I belonged and who I belonged with. He told me every day.

The Halloween dance came and went quickly. I was still dressed in a rather skimpy outfit that was supposed to be a Cupid costume, Saxton was an old Victorian style ghost. It was a rather odd match, but I didn't want to be one of those matching couples however.

But for some reason, my biggest annoyance was the Marauder's choice's of dates. I don't know why it bothered me so much... but it did. James was with Lily of course (that was a given; a given also that I would absolutely hate no matter what), Remus and Sallie Cartwright, Peter was able to find a date- Jeannie Bullstrode (they were both short and round, it was almost cute), and Sirius with the Ravenclaw girl, Kat White. Kat was a huge bothersome girl. Being part Veela she felt that she was entitled to only the best, and that because Sirius was the best looking single man, she felt that she had to have him by right. That alone was enough to set me off.

Saxton throughout the night had to steer me away from my ex-group of friends. He understood the hurt and resentment I felt when looking at them. I had told him, long ago at the safe house and away from Bridgette no less, that I blamed them for being what I am. They should have tried to come find me when I never showed up on the train back to school for our third year. They should have tried to find out what happened to my parents when the Daily Prophet reported my parents dead and that I was missing. I know they had to have seen it. But no. They continued on with their daily lives like I was dead and nonexistent anymore. No longer would they have the wanna-be Slytherin girl following them around the Common Room or on the grounds. No longer would they have to watch me to make sure the wrong people never got to me. But to them I was an active grenade that could go off at any time and become evil in their eyes. But thanks to them, they were the ones that pulled the pin. I was here because of them. I was here because they never bothered to try and save their "friend". They thought of my kind as evil and terrible because of our resentment to Muggles. But what about them? They think they're so high and mighty because they can stand the look and company of Mudbloods, but yet they can't help try and find a missing girl, a girl they told was their friend and even girlfriend at one point.

Granted, one might argue that they were only kids. Well I call bullshit. They weren't ordinary kids. Like me, they had become unregistered Animagi before they were even legal wizards. They knew how to escape out of a castle that not even the Dark Lord could penetrate. No, they could have done something about me. They could have avoided all of these issues.

It was what I told myself over and over again throughout these years. It was their fault. They were the reasons why I hurt every day. The reason why I had to kill Bridgette. None of that would have happened if they had just tried to help.

The night of the Halloween dance, I left early. I couldn't deal with the emotions. It had only been a week or so since Saxton and I started seeing each other. They no longer felt conflicting, but somehow right. Thinking back to how I felt when I was missing... it only proved the point that he was right. That I deserved someone like him. I didn't need Sirius in my life. Especially if he was going to be with that White girl. No, not just because of her, but because of everything that he is. He is a Blood Traitor, he was one of the ones that never bothered to try and find me. And when I did come back, all he wanted was in my pants because of how I looked. He didn't care that I was back, he was just looking for another girl to score with... another girl to add to the notch in his belt.

Saxton had followed me out of the Great Hall and into an empty classroom. I had poured my soul to him at that point. About how he was right about that group. How they had never cared for my well being or even myself. I told him how he was right: that I should never have come back to Hogwarts. He had tried to to talk me out of it and had done so for quite some time until this last year when I decided I had to come back. And for what? Heartbreak? Classes? What was the real reason I had come back to the school? I didn't know anymore and he didn't have any answers for me either. All he had said was that nothing would ever touch me again, that he was here for me no matter what, and that he would keep all of the bad people away from me.

We ended up soon after, leaving the empty class room to head to our own Common Room. There, we spent the remainder of the night huddled together in front of the fire, reliving stories from our childhood together.

Not a terrible night I would say.

It was after that night that we really became inseparable.

Time seemed to move quickly for us. Soon, November was over and it was heading into December. Soon everyone was talking about Christmas holidays, who wanted what for Christmas and what not to get them. It was snowing every other day, something that I was not very fond of. It was pretty and made for fun snowball fights, but it was worthless nonetheless. Too cold for me.

Saxton was going to his home (something he really didn't want to do), for the holidays and that left me here. He had offered for me to come with him, but it wasn't something I wanted to do. I couldn't stand his parents for one. And his little brothers and sisters (the guy had like six of them, it was insane) were the biggest pests I had ever met. So, I decided to stay over for the holiday while he went home. It's not like I had a home to go to after all. Whatever. _Don't care._ Maybe a little, but not really. _Okay, well, maybe I did care_. I need to learn how to hush my inner monologue.

I ushered him on the carriage as he kissed my cheek. "Be good." he smirked as he got onto the carriage, closing the door behind him. I waved him on as the Thestral pulled it away. I sighed and turned to head back into the castle, ready to start this lonely two week holiday.

I had barely made it to the front steps before I felt something cold and chilling hit the back of my robes. I flicked out my wand as quickly as I could. I hated the snow. Turning around all I heard was:

"Expelliarmus!" My ivy wand flew out of my hand, much to my annoyance. Thankfully I was smart enough to know how to fight with and without my wand. I could feel the snake rise in me with annoyance at this pest.

"Really, Zilini? You think you're that much of a bad ass that you can curse me? It was a simple snow ball, lighten up." Of course it was none other than Sirius.

I couldn't help but growl at him as I grabbed my wand back. He made no effort to try and keep it from me, but his face was set in stone and rigid.

"I hate the snow."

"Along with a lot of other things too, eh?" he asked smartly. Oh this boy was getting on my nerves.

"Yes, like your face." I countered. It wasn't anything great, I know, but I'm terrible at verbal abuse.

"Very funny. How long did that one take you to come up with?"

"Not nearly long enough apparently. But long enough for me to do this." I turned and walked away, heading through the open doors. I could sense his eyes watching me and could feel the tension in the air. So he was staying here. Great.

"Just like a slimey Slytherin, always turning to run tail!" He called after me. It was enough to make me stop in my steps. The blood inside me was boiling at this point; I would have been surprised to see all of the snow form a ring of water around me.

"I thought you were better than that, Zarina." He was walking closer, slowly and perhaps cautiously, but getting closer. "I thought you were one of us. I thought you wanted to be better than your parents and better than the house you were sorted into. I thought you wanted to be the only Slytherin to do good after school. But instead you're living up to your family name, aren't you?" This boy knew how to press all of my buttons.

"No, you know what I'm better than? I'm better than you are, and all of the little blood traitors and Mudbloods that you hang out with!" My fists were at my side, clenching my wand and trembling with anger. I can't recall a time he had ever raised me like this. Or anyone for that matter.

"No you're not. You think are because of your little following and that prick you're dating."

"And you think you're the shit because you have Kat White kissing your ass and in your pants."

"You're really going to try and use Kat against me? Really? Do I even have to bring up Wilkes?"

"At least he's not a scum bag who just sleeps with any girl that says alright, drunk or not." I thought this might have been a good comeback, but he only laughed. His bark-like laughter surrounded the halls.

"My dear, aren't you mislead. I don't sleep with any girl, drunk or not, thank you. I assume that's a remark about what happened that night in the Shrieking Shack. Understandable, you blacked out and woke up shirtless; it's easy to come to that conclusion. But I remember. Nothing happened. You said you got hot, took off your shirt and passed out in bed. Frankly, I'd rather not cuddle with Jamie or Remus, so I crawled into bed, on top of the covers so as not to bug the little princess sleeping away. Not my issue if I got cold in the middle of the night and got under the covers when I was asleep; you know, that's kind of a normal reaction.

"Secondly, I don't think you know the full story behind your little boy-toy Saxton. In the two or three months that we've been back to school, I have seen that boy shack up with more than seventeen girls from your house ranging from fifth to seventh year. I've seen them in the closets, empty classrooms, and so on. You honestly think he's going to his parent's house? To the parents that he hates? Not even I'm that stupid to leave my girlfriend at school alone for two weeks just to visit my family."

"You can't honestly think that I'm going to believe you over him, do you?"

Sirius shrugged. "I figured our history would prove otherwise but apparently not. I understand. It's easier to be in denial of the truth than to actually accept it."

"Our history? What history do we have together, Sirius? You were the best friend to the boy that I dated when I was eleven. And over that summer you basically confessed your feelings for me! Like you really knew at that age what you really wanted."

"Yeah cause no one can find their soul-mate at eleven, right? That's just stupid, right?" His eyes were a dark slate gray... he was angry. Angrier than I had ever seen him, and the fact that he was angry at me didn't help any. I was still upset myself, but I wasn't even at his level of fury. I relaxed my shoulders and carefully slid my wand into my back pocket, still in easy range of grabbing. But I didn't let my guard down.

"I've never been your soul-mate, Sirius. We've never even dated."

"So? Who said we had to? There is something there that you have felt for the last six years that you couldn't explain. That's why even when you went all bad guy on us, you still were willing to talk to me, to hang out with me, just like you are now. Why you get so jealous when other girls are staring or getting anywhere near me. That's why you have such an issue with Kat. She was my date for the dance and I bet that just pissed you off more than anything didn't it? Did you ever stop to think of why it bothers you so much after all of this time?"

"God damn it, you left me to rot in that hell hole! You! You and James never bothered to try and find me! You guys knew that my parents had been murdered and you never bothered to try and find out what happened to me or even Bridgette! How can you say that I'm your soul-mate or even friend know that you never bothered to try and help me? Saxton was the only one I had during that time. I think we have more of a history than me and you do, Black."

His growl was audible even from ten or so feet away from me. It was unnerving how quickly he walked up the steps and was in front of me, his black hair framing his face, jaw clenched in anger.

"Don't you ever think that we didn't try our best to figure out what was going on." He said in a deathly whisper. "We did all that we could at that time. Forgive me if we thought you were dead also. Forgive me if we didn't understand why Voldemort would keep you alive when he killed your family. Forgive me if we didn't want to believe that you had been taken away from us."

My guard had been shattered. I could only stammer and to stop from looking like a fool and doing so, I shut my mouth tight. I could only stare back. Blue eyes versus gray eyes, both trying to figure out who was right and wrong, both looking for a loop hole.

Sirius sighed and straightened up. He ran his hand through his hair, like a comb and merely shook his head.

"Why should you care though. You have your little boyfriend and I've told you all that I've could. Why should I think that it would change anything? You're not that type of person." he spat back at me. "No, you're not the type of person to fall for whoever sweet talks their way in. Sorry if I'm too realistic for you." Sirius left me standing there, unsure of myself and my surroundings anymore. He headed back to what I assume was the Gryffindor tower. I really had no idea what was going on anymore. It's funny how a simple snowball had escalated into something like this.

I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to be furious and believe that everything he was saying were lies. Saxton wouldn't ever cheat on me; we'd only been dating for two months. How stupid would that be. On both of our parts. He knows I would destroy him in a matter of seconds if I thought that he was cheating and it proved true. Still, I couldn't help but wonder about that.

And what was the deal with Sirius popping up in the most weirdest times, ruining everything like that? Saying that soul-mate and all of that bullshit. Did he really think that I was meant for him or something? Did he really think that we would ever have a chance at being together and actually doing well? What did he actually think?

And why the hell am I thinking like this? Why am I actually contemplating that Saxton is indeed cheating on me and that Sirius is my other half? Do people even think this way? No. I'm crazy. That must be it. I'm broken and horribly weird is all. Right?

God damn it.

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS BLACK!" I yelled after him. I could still hear his footsteps walking away from me. I assumed that the hallway allowed my voice to be carried just as far to his ears, and that he heard me.

His footsteps stopped, but they did not return back this way. Just stopped.

Good enough I suppose.

I sighed and walked after his footsteps.

"How do you know Saxton has been seeing... others?" I asked. I couldn't bring up the words 'other girls' or 'cheating'.

"Other than the fact that he thinks he's an all star, and that he's a prick and womanizer? Easy, I've seen it in person. If I didn't think you would get mad at me like you were earlier, I would have made sure no one would have been able to recognize his pretty boy face." He said simply. He wasn't looking at me though, he was looking over my head, just passed me.

"Why do you care so much, Sirius?" I couldn't help but ask the nagging question. It had been bugging me for years.

This time he looked at me.

"Because you're my friend and always have been. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for everything you've gone through, but there is so much I can do about that. And nothing I can do now will change the past." He shrugged.

To this I didn't have an answer.

"You really did try and find me when I disappeared?"

"Are you just going to keep asking stupid questions that you know the answer to already?" He was reducing me to the age of a seven year old, and he didn't look sorry about it. It was driving me nuts. I needed to stand up to him.

"Sorry I bothered." I glared back at him. I was ruining my only chance at getting him as a friend again, but my pride was getting in the way. Did I really want him back as a friend? My subconscious kept asking me.

"Besides, I know how this is going to work out, Rina. You're going to accept everything I say as truth for the next two weeks and we're going to be all buddy buddy since its just me and you and no one else that give's a shit is here. And then, when you're little boyfriend gets back you're going to drop me like nothing ever happened and you're going to be stuck up his ass so far that you wont be able to hear anyone calling your name. So, don't even bother and just save yourself the trouble."

It hurt. I suppose it hurt worse considering there was a good chance that could have happened. I couldn't deny that part of the truth either. I may be a Death Eater, but I sure as hell wasn't a liar.

"See? You know it too. Just save me the heartache, will you? I may not like Kat as much as I like you but at least I don't have to worry too much about her doing anything stupid like you would do. Like going back to that fool."

"Kat is just as bad as you're claiming Saxton to be!" This I knew for sure. She felt that she needed the perfect boyfriend, and she sure as hell wasn't going to get Sirius under her claws.

"Even if she is," he shrugged, "it won't hurt as bad coming from her. It's almost expected, I guess. I never expected you to be like this."

"What did you expect from me coming back from a death camp! Please, tell me about all of the little flowers you saw in your vision. Tell me of all the pretty butterflies, unicorns and love!"

"Oh stop bringing that up. You could have it a lot worse and you know it."

"Like what?"

"Like you could have been the one to have been killed by your best friend." Oh he was good. He definitely knew how to knock me down a peg or two. Or five.

"Don't you think it would have been worse to been the one to have done it?" I glared daggers at him; my voice was as quiet as his was.

"No. Because I would never have been put in that situation. Unlike you, I would never consider betraying my best friend like that."

"Don't think you're better than me because of what I've done!"

"I don't think I'm better than you, Zarina. I don't have to, you already think that I am, or else you wouldn't be so defensive about it. You know I'm right."

"They would have killed me, Sirius! Do you not comprehend that?"

"No, I do, perfectly well. I would rather have died than kill any one of my friends."

"I'm sorry I'm not so high and mighty like you are. I'm sorry that I have faults." I felt sick to my stomach. I was trembling again, but not because of anger. I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt dizzy and light headed. I think I even started to sway a little for the next thing I knew, Sirius had me by the shoulders and was lowering me to the ground. I couldn't keep my eyes focused. Something wasn't right.

"Zarina? Rina?" I could hear him calling faintly, but only barely. I closed my eyes against the bright outdoor light shining through the nearby window. I sighed and leaned against the only thing keeping me upright. It was warm and I could feel a faint vibration emanating from it as I could vaguely hear my name being called out. Everything seemed so far away, and so dark now.


	16. 16: Empty Corridors and Warm Hearts

**CHAPTER 16**

_**A/N: Thank you to my review of the last chapter, it was greatly appreciated: TheMaddyHatter and to the few people that clicked favorite and alerts! Those always make my day. :-) Also, I would like to thank everyone for reading and please continue to do so! Since I started this story last year I had a little over 1000 hits, until this month when I have almost TRIPLED that amount in October alone! AHHHH! So whatever you guys are doing, keep it up! Much Love!**_

According to Madam Promfrey, I had been poisoned by hellebore, the reason why I couldn't breathe right and why everything was spinning around me. I knew immediately who had done it and that didn't set well with me. Saxton had tried killing me over Christmas break. If he had succeeded, I would have been dead by the time he came back to school. Why he chose to do it, I had no idea. I wasn't a traitor for the Dark Lord or anything, I would have been told by Severus or hell, even Peter would have said something. That led me to believe that Saxton wanted me out of the picture for good.

I kept all of this to myself, however. I didn't want Sirius to make it go out of hand. I know what he would have done. Whenever Saxton would get back, Sirius would have made sure to have a face to face with him, leaving one of them- more than likely- without a face. I didn't want Sirius fighting my battles for me. When Christmas break was going to be over, I was going to be healthy again, and I had my own ways of revenge plotting silently in my mind. I didn't want someone else to get the credit.

It was a Christmas miracle that Madam Promfrey let me out of the ward early. Unfortunately, it wasn't until the afternoon, so I got to spend Christmas morning in the medical ward.

It was not terrible though. Sirius came in to visit and to give me my Christmas present (something I felt terrible about since I was not able to get him one for obvious reasons), and stayed long enough to help me leave the hospital wing. I didn't receive any gifts from Saxton. Instead, I wore the bracelet Sirius had gotten me in Hogsmeade at the last minute, proudly. It was a sterling silver rope that had a beautiful white gold snake with emeralds for eyes. She knew it must have taken him a lot to swallow his pride to buy her something that was Slytherin-esque. I adored it and him even more for buying it for me.

Together, we left the hospital wing, just laughing at all of the good times that we used to have when we were younger. The talks of sneaking into the kitchen for dessert late at night, old secrets that we kept from each other that were just silly now, and even what we hoped to accomplish after school had led us down corridors I had never been before. Sirius, however, looked unaffected by being lost in the deserted area of the school.

As if to prove that fact, he stretched, arms over his head and yawned. "I'm tired of walking." He huffed and immediately sat on the ground. I laughed, looking at how silly he was. We were in a giant corridor, nothing around us but dusty suits of armor and bare walls. Nodding and grinning, I sat next to him.

"So, when exactly did you all become unregistered Animagus?" I asked him. I had been curious ever since the first day back and they were all standing by the Whomping Willow.

It actually seemed to take him a minute to answer. "Uh..." He scratched behind his ear, apparently trying to remember.

"I think it was towards the end of our fifth year. We fully accomplished it right before summer. We knew we were going to have to finish it either before school ended or at the start of sixth year so the Ministry didn't get involved. And none of us wanted to wait that long so we hurried up and got it taken care of. I'm the dog, James is the stag, and Peter is a rat."

I nodded. "That's around the same time that Bridgette and I managed to figure it out, also." It wasn't until after I said it, did I realize that I had never told Sirius that I was an unregistered Animagus. Instead, I did one of those "Oh shit" coughs. Sure enough he looked at me with a very perplexed glance.

"You and Bridgette can transform?"

"Well, Bridgette can't anymore, if you want to get technical about it..."

"You know what I mean, girlie." He playfully pushed me. "What can you transform into?"

I bit my lip. A part of me didn't want him to know. They say your form matches your personality traits and all of that jazz. Was I really like a viper? Well, the boy has never ran from me before; he could handle it, right?

"An Eyelash Viper."

"Huh?" I sighed. Not many people were familiar with the breed. Usually they just turned and ran whenever they realized that the term 'viper' meant snake. Instead of describing what I was, I changed. My slender frame quickly formed into that of a bright yellow snake with little 'eyelashes' around the eyes; almost like baby horns going across my eye ridges. The one detail that was mine, and mine alone, was the long scar that stretched down the length of my body. I climbed my way around his legs, up his chest, and wrapped myself carefully around his neck and shoulders. He began laughing, the deep vibrations feeling weird against my body. Raising my head so it was level with his I stuck out my little forked tongue, and a flood of smells came rushing at me. I could 'taste' the brand of shampoo that he used to wash his hair, body wash and all of that. Going deeper I could 'taste' his emotions. His slight fear of what I was was nothing compared to the feeling of joy radiating through him. Gently, I untangled myself around his neck and slid down the front. Once I had enough room, I changed back into my normal self.

"That was awesome!" he laughed once more. I could only blush. "It's something that I totally wouldn't have seen coming."

"Not many people do." I smiled sheepishly. "That's why it works for my job. I'm able to hide away easily, even though I'm brightly colored. No one fucks with me." I stuck out my tongue at him, thankful I couldn't smell his delicious scent again.

"Awe, so no forked tongue as a human? Shame."

"You know some Muggles do that. It's really weird. They're just jealous of what I can do." I winked at him.

"I'm jealous of what you can do." He winked back at me. "So.. are you actually venomous?"

"Only in that form." I wriggled my finger at him. "If I bite you now, it would just hurt; you wouldn't die."

"So you've killed people from biting them as a snake?"

"Once or twice, maybe."

"Vicious." He smirked. "So what could Bridgette turned into?"

"A very stereotypical teenage girl animal. A tiger."

"Merlin's Beard! She must have been huge! How could she work as something so massive? It's bad enough being a huge dog, but I actually need to be that big."

I raised my eyebrow at what he meant by that.

"It was something that she couldn't be talked out of. She wanted to be a Siberian tiger and that was the end of the discussion. She couldn't keep her mind_******_ the first couple of times during our trail and errors. There were a few times she almost stepped on me or killed me. She didn't have the control she needed to be something that large and dangerous. She very rarely transformed if she didn't have to. Unfortunately the need for me to become a snake increased greatly once we were able to accomplish it. We did it originally because we were bored and wanted to see what kind of magic we could perform. But once the Dark Lord found out about our accomplishments, he used us in more difficult and life threatening situations. But, like I said... Bridgette couldn't control herself and had the mind of the tiger. So, whenever we would be on our missions, there were plenty of times she made a mess of things by mauling the person we were spying on, or other Death Eaters. It didn't matter who it was, someone was always killed on a mission with her having to transform. But the worst of it, was that she never remembered doing it when we left. She would laugh and scoff saying that she never went out of control. She never believed me; she wanted to prove that she was as tough as I was by being able to handle herself... refusing to believe that she could be that weak."

Sirius could only shake his head. "Is that why you had to kill her? She was a threat to missions?"

"No.. because a lot of the time she wouldn't transform. It wasn't unless it was an absolute necessity to have a large cat on hands.. which, by the way, wasn't much. She was mostly used as a threat to people. Nothing like seeing a large powerful wizard go through the best Auror's defense with a giant striped cat at his side. The Dark Lord realizes that he himself doesn't need to perform any magic to be threatening... not when he can have others prove it for him."

He nodded, understanding. "So what did she find out that you had to destroy her over? It sounds like she was a pretty good weapon against anyone. Hell, I'd go running if I saw Voldemort with a giant kitten like that. Screw that."

I nodded. "Precisely, and most people did. As to what she found out, I'm not entirely sure. I'm sure if I had found out, I would have been on his list also. Same with Regulus. I am surprised that he wasn't targeted, since Bridgette and himself were so close. They shared a lot of things. Maybe that was the one thing that she was smart about and didn't tell him for his own safety. I wouldn't be surprised if she did something like that."

"It must have been something, huh. Enough for him to want to dispose of her."

"Unfortunately so. I don't know what it was, but it would have had to have been something of pretty big detail. If it was bigger, he probably would have dealt with her himself... but still. The fact that he had her best friend kill her definitely was a message that got conveyed."

"So why do you stay, Rina? Why do you stay with those people?" His gray eyes showed a wide variety of emotions behind them. They shifted from sadness, guilt, and more that I possibly couldn't read. I had to think about his question though. It did seem rather silly that I stayed with these people that treated me like garbage. But at the same time it was empowering knowing that I was stronger than them, and there were even a few that knew to look up to me. I didn't have anyone like that on the outside. To everyone else, I was just silly little Rina Zilini. The goofy daughter of Death Eaters who got themselves killed. The girl who could barely handle herself in school and socially awkward. I didn't want to be that girl anymore. I wanted to be the powerful woman that people respected.

I could only shrug at him. "Many reasons I suppose... Although all of it will sound like my ego is just getting in the way." Gently I laid my head on his shoulder. It was getting late and I was getting tired. Even though I hadn't done anything but lay in a bed getting over being poisoned for the last week or so, I felt exhausted. I smiled softly as I felt his arm wrap warmly around me, helping me to my feet.

"Well, come on... you can crash with me tonight." I raised my eyebrow at him. "What?" he exclaimed. "You don't want to sleep alone tonight do you? Nothing has to happen." He added quickly.

"I know nothing has to happen, because nothing is going to happen you perv!" Playfully I smacked him. With his arm wrapped around my shoulders, we headed to the Gryffindor tower. I had forgotten that we (or at least I) was lost, for Sirius seemed to know so well where we going. Not once did he miss a turn or hallway, and seemed only like a few minutes before we made it to the Fat Lady's Portrait.

"Password?" She hiccuped. Her and her friend Violet were already drunk on Christmas wine.

"Reef." He stated simply. The two girls in the picture frame giggled madly and the frame opened up. Laughing over their drunkenness, we made our way to the couch. Sirius was the first to plop down on the comfortable cushions.

"And where am I supposed to sit, goofball? You took up the whole couch!" I stuck my bottom lip out in a cute little pout, pulling on his arm, trying to get him up.

"Hmmmm..." was all he said before I felt a warm hand grab my arm and pull me on top of him. "Right here." I could feel his chest raise with a deep chuckle. I could also feel something else raise a little lower down. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry?" He couldn't help but continue to chuckle. "What do you expect, Zarina? Me to be able to control everything?"

"You could at least have a little decency!"

"How? You're laying on top of me!"

"Because you pulled me down here!"

"Are you saying that it's a bad thing? I'm rather comfortable."

"I'm sure you are, Black. I wouldn't doubt it one bit that you're comfortable."

"So what's the issue then, Zilini? Is it too awkward for you? Do we need to move to a bed so we can actually do it and get all of the awkwardness out?"

"You are such a perv!" I couldn't help but repeat myself. It was hard enough to keep from laughing. I couldn't help the fact that I really didn't want to move either.

"Then get up!"

"I don't wanna."

"Then you don't care that I'm horny as shit right now."

I could only laugh harder, making him shrug.

"Just thought you should know."

"Right. Because that's everything I care about right now, Sirius."

"Again, I just thought that you should know."

We laid together in silence for a few minutes, neither of us wanting to break the moment that we were sharing together, humorous or not.

I was almost asleep, laying on his chest, enjoying the feeling of him stroking my hair and back. I never did this with Saxton. The closest we ever got to each other was sitting next to one another on the couch, relatively cuddling if it could be called that. This was a wonderful feeling.

"Zarina... Will you be mine?" It sounded like he too was almost asleep. His gentle rubbing had slowed down and seemed to start up only every once in a while. I didn't know how to answer him. This was a wonderful feeling and I loved being back up here in the warm colored Gryffindor Common Room, but was I ready to denounce everything I had ever learned and trusted for something that was supposed to be normal yet the scariest thing ever for me?

It seemed as if he knew how my mind was working.

"You don't have to answer now..." even though his voice was laden with exhaustion, I could still hear the sadness at my reluctance, "but think about it, please?"

He was snoring just a few seconds later. I buried my face in his chest and closed my eyes. Soon, I too was asleep.

_**A/N: Well! Please let me know what you think! I would love to hear some reviews on this! It isn't as dark as a lot of the other chapters. I figured she had enough drama for a couple of chapters hahaha. Besides, I have something really interesting in store for our little love birds coming up! So please, feel free to review and give me love!**_

_**** I thought it would be an interesting addition to the Animagus idea if they were like the werewolves. What makes becoming an Animagus so difficult and why it is so heavily watched by the Ministry is if the witch or wizard trying to become the animal they temporarily loose their mind once in their new form until they master and can control it. Thus the need to be heavily regulated and why it's so difficult and amazing that the Marauders were able to do it so young.**_


	17. 17: The Attack

**CHAPTER 17**

That night led to one of the best weeks I had ever had. It was a shame that the vacation was over. Saxton and the rest of the school would be returning in a few hours. I still hadn't talked to Saxton; I wanted him to believe I had died. I wanted to have the satisfaction of putting him in the hospital wing myself, although Sirius continued to believe that he was going to do it.

It was even better than I could have imagined. Not only did he think I was dead, but the look of shock was sketched all over his face. Priceless. Same with the little blonde girl he had his arm around. She was a year below us; her name was Ashley Parkinson, and sadly the gods weren't on her side when she received her looks. You have to love it when the ex down-grades to the lesser model.

Of course, after that nice little fiasco, Professor Slughorn immediately brought me aside and into his office for a "talk".

I shrugged and followed him into his office, closing the door quietly behind me. It really didn't bother me what kind of punishment I would receive, it was all well worth it.

I sat down in the large poofed up chairs that he had and declined his offer for tea. Being American raised, I absolutely hated tea.

"Miss Zilini, that was quite a stunt you pulled out in the Great Hall."

I only shrugged again.

"You used the Cunjuctivitis Curse to blind him, Revulsion Jinx to knock him into a wall, and then you proceeded to use the Jelly-Brain jinx to stop him from lashing back... and that's not even half of what you did before it took a professor to get to you both!"

I shrugged again. He was only saying things I already knew.

"My dear, don't you realize how incredible that is? It only took us a few moments to reach you both and already you had him down! Wilkes is an incredibly gifted lad and he had nothing on you! My dear, why have you been hiding this power?"

"I haven't been hiding it, sir. I just know when is an appropriate time to use it."

"Appropriate time?"

"Yes. Wilkes had tried to poison me over the Christmas break and it resulted myself being in the hospital wing for over a week and a half. Because he thought I was dead, he felt it necessary to sleep with another girl." My voice was matter-of-fact. I could see the unease that it cause Slughorn, but I didn't care. Saxton deserved everything he got. Unfortunately I felt no need for Parkinson to get involved in the curses too, for how was she to know what had happened? Although I do believe she might have been the one to call the teachers over by her obnoxious screaming. There is nothing wrong with seeing a boy try and claw at his eyes because he can't see. I was very upset with Saxton. He should have been better prepared. Everything he did was sloppily done. Training should have taught him more and better.

"M-my those are some allegations, Miss Zilini. Are you sure about that? Maybe you just came down with a s-sickness?" he was panicked. I guess the allegations were pretty fierce.

"No sir. I'm very positive it's what happened. He used hellebore, and everyone knows how poisonous that is. It's not like I just randomly started eating plants out of the greenhouses or anything." Slughorn was nodding in agreement.

"But you can't prove it was him..?"

"I don't have that many enemies here at school. None that would threaten me in such a way that he did. I may have people that dislike me, sir, but all know better than to fool with me."

"You seem very confident in your abilities, Miss."

"Yes sir. I know very well what I can and can't do. Dueling is something I can do very, very well."

It was just like that, that Slughorn had let me out of his office, even inviting me to join his Slug Club. He wanted me to be one of his collectibles is what he told me, perhaps in not that type of wording, but the point was made.

I found Sirius waiting outside of the Professor's office when I left. His grin was wide and he was bouncing all around me in happiness.

"What's got you all jumpy?"

"That was bloody fantastic!" he laughed, "Remind me never to do anything stupid around you for you to jinx me! I didn't know you had mastered the wordless spells."

"Well yeah. I had to. Can't really go around yelling curses in the middle of the street. It'd get too much attention, silly." I playfully pushed him. Together we left the dungeons and headed back up to the Great Hall. Dinner was being served and already I could hear rumors beginning about what had happened. I didn't necessarily make it the most quiet of all attacks.

"Did Sluggy say anything about your use of black magic?"

"It wasn't black magic. It was just curses and jinxes, really. And not necessarily. He was surprised that I knew them, but he was more amazed that I could pull it off so quickly before the teachers got there."

"Detention or anything?"

"Nope. Just an invitation to the Slug Club."

"Really? Jamie, Remus and I got invitations but we turned them down. Didn't feel the need to show off what we already knew." he winked. "That and I didn't want to be a collectors item for him. He already has my brother, he's not getting me too. James just goes to make Lily happy since she's in it too, but he usually leaves after a few minutes. Usually just long enough to get dessert." I shook my head, laughing. The Hall had become mostly quiet, watching me as we walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. People around us gave us more room than normal, as if they were afraid I was going to curse them or something. I sighed. This was going to be annoying.

"Way to go, Rina," piped little Peter. He eyed me a weird look, however. I had an inkling of what he was thinking though. I wasn't going to get hell from anyone else about it because they couldn't do anything about it. But I could get hell from a certain few that had already graduated... who only had to wait till I left the comfort of Dumbledore's reach to attack. I couldn't help but sit up straight and think about this realization. I had easily attacked one of the Death Eater's main supportive family. Saxton was used frequently, even during school periods (he used to claim he was sick and leave for a week at a time to commit the foul deeds that we had to do). His parents were high up and in the Dark Lords favor. And I had just sent their son to the hospital wings with scratches up and down his face, boils all over his body, and a severely broken leg and foot. That boy would be recuperating for weeks, even under Madam Promfrey's care.

"Yeah, thanks." I replied. My throat was dry and no amount of water or pumpkin juice was going to fix it. I was in deep shit. I knew it. Suddenly the food in front of us no longer looked appetizing. Conversations were going on around me, James and Lily talking fondly together over classes and homework, Sallie and Remus discussing something about Charms (it was easy to tell the subject; Sallie hated using her wand for anything other than Potions and always had extreme difficulty even doing the simplest task), and Peter was just giving me this oddly dark and sadistic smile that no one else seemed to notice around me. Sirius next to me was stuffing his face full of food, acting as if he hadn't eaten all day. The thought of eating made me want to gag. I couldn't take it. I stood up and left for the Slytherin dungeons before I would throw up. I was rattled. I was going to have to watch myself very closely...

Before I could even blink, I was thrown against the wall in the dungeon hallway. I could feel the cold wood of a wand against my throat and an arm on my collar bone, pinning me in place.

"One slight twitch of your arm and you're dead, Zilini." The deathly quiet voice said to me. Once the stars faded from my vision, I could see the dark outline of Severus Snape. Of course he would be the first one to come at me.

"What do you want, Snape?" I asked. I could barely breath because of the force that he was using. I was scared, and I knew he could tell. That seemed to bother me more than the current threat that I was facing however.

"Why did you attack Wilkes? He was needed tonight!" His voice was just above a whisper but it was dripping with venom. He was more poisonous right now than I was at any other time. The candles that lit the area didn't help any, they only seemed to make him that more menacing.

"He had it coming!" I whispered back. "He tried to poison me! Take me out!"

"He's too stupid for such a thing. Like the idiot knew what the hell it would take to poison anyone."

I eyed him warily. "What are you talking about? Of course he did it. He had his arm around Parkinson when he came back from the village. He tried taking me out so he could date whoever the hell he wanted."

"He would have dated whoever the hell he wanted anyways, with or without you out of the picture you conceited brat. He didn't give a shit whether you thought you were dating or a booty call. You stupid little girl. You've ruined everything!"

I didn't say anything. It was getting harder to breath and I could sense that he had no intention of letting me go anytime soon.

"He was supposed to go on a mission tonight specifically for the Dark Lord and you've completely ruined it. The Dark Lord is going to be furious when he finds out that you've put that idiot in the hospital wing."

"I don't want to hear about it, Snape. I don't care. He's disposable. He can find someone else to do Saxton's missions."

My mind was racing. Who was going to be the next person to take on this mission? And what was it anyways. What was so important that Saxton had to do it himself? And if he didn't poison me, then who the hell was trying to?

"You need to do it. You need to prove to the Dark Lord that you are worth keeping around because frankly he doesn't think so. He thinks you've gone off and joined the blood traitors that you hang out with so often. He knows what you've been doing here. He's not stupid. The Dark Lord knows how to keep tabs on those he doesn't trust."

"The Dark Lord doesn't trust anyone."

"Exactly." I could see the cogs behind Snapes eyes moving rapidly in thought. "You need to do it." he repeated.

"What do I have to do?" It came out in gasps. He had been pushing harder and harder on my collar bone, closing in on my windpipe. He didn't say anything but he let go of the pressure and lowered his wand. I had been loosing so much oxygen that I fell to the floor, gasping for air.

"You need to do it." He said once more. With a swish of his robes he left the dungeons, leaving me with the stars dancing in front of my eyes.

"Shit." was all I managed to mutter.

_**A/N: I know it's a little shorter than normal, but I've been having horrible writer's block! Hopefully another chapter in the morning, but please let me know what you think so far! :-D**_


	18. 18: Hidden Secrets

**Chapter 18**

_**A/N: Awe, no love on the last chapter. That's okay. I'm going to try and get back into the old style of things and hopefully get back on the ball here. Please let me know if there is anything you think would be a good idea!**_

"At that point in my life, I was scared. And why shouldn't I have been? I was on the brink of having everything. I was one of the top students in my year, I was envied by most all of the girls, not just for my looks but because who was on my arm. I had one of the most of good looking, most sought after, sexiest man in the whole school, and I knew it. I was set. But something in the back of my mind kept going back to what Severus Snape had said that night. It meant that I was going to loose everything that I had attained that year and ever.

"Before I had just belonged to the Death Eaters by body only. Yeah I could do their dirty work, easily. It wasn't even a second thought. But since I had hospitalized Wilkes, it was as if I had to reprove myself to them. It had to be body and soul."

"Were you able to do it?" I asked the stunningly beautiful woman in front of me. I was talking to my mother, for the first time ever. I was finding out the story of her life and the blank spots that I didn't know in mine. It was hard to think of this woman as my mother, as she calmly sat in front of me. I had thought of Jeanie Clearwater as my mother for these last fifteen years. But there was no denying the evidence that she had in front of me. Even looking at her I could tell we were related.

She had long silver hair, it hung close to her waistline. She was thin without looking sickly, with long arms and legs. I could see the Dark Mark glistening on her left forearm. Her piercing blue eyes were startling and full of knowledge... She wore a green and silver Chinese dress with loose black fitting robes. I could see the family resemblance however. I had her nose, slender figure, and from what Professor Dumbledore had described to me before this meeting, her wandwork. Professor Dumbledore had also told me that I was much like my father. Cocky, charismatic, a strong ambition, and that I had his eye color. A sleet gray that was hidden beneath a head full of black hair. I was tall without being lanky and awkward even at fifteen.

She was watching me closely, her blue eyes always analyzing mine. What she was looking for, I wasn't sure, but it wasn't awkward like it should have been.

"No. I wanted to keep this new life I was starting to gain. It was the life I had wanted when I was eleven and twelve, when I had first met Sirius and James. It was the life they had promised me I could obtain if I could stay away from the bad people." She quietly rearranged herself in the poofy chair. It was just the three of us in Professor Dumbledore's office. The school year hadn't started yet, it was just the first night for all of the students to arrive. It was getting close to midnight now. I had been listening to her story from the beginning, completely enthralled.

"So if you didn't follow through with You-Know-Who, then what happened?"

"A multiple of things. Snape had told me that the mission wasn't supposed to happen till the end of the year. Even though Saxton was healthy by that point, I still had to prove my worth. It was going to be worse than having to kill my friend, and I was afraid of it. I didn't want to do any of that anymore. More importantly, Sawyer..." she leaned in towards me, her tone completely serious- different than the relaxed talk we'd been having, "I didn't want anyone to have any power over me. The Dark Lord, had I not done what I did, would still hold control over me." She leaned back up against her chair, "Perhaps it might have ended when he disappeared after he tried killing James and Lily's son... but I couldn't know that then. He was the most powerful wizard that anyone had ever seen. The idea of him falling prey to a small child was inconsiderable.

"So I did what any sane person who was being threatened by the Death Eaters. I went to the authorities. Well, I went to the Professor here. He gave me an ultimatum. I could go into hiding whenever school was over and he would protect me, or I could go on living the way I was and eventually end up dead like my best friend.

"I had a lot to think about around that time, also. School was going to be over for good in a few weeks, James and Lily had announced their engagement a couple days before I talked to the Professor, and Sirius had told me he wouldn't even mind getting married soon since no one knew how long they had during this war. I agreed. And though we planned on eventually getting married I still couldn't tell him my biggest secret. I couldn't tell him that in May of 1977 I was pregnant with his child."

"Are you trying to tell me that Sirius Black is my father?"

"Yes."

I let out a low whistle. So my mother is.. was? A Death Eater and now I find out that my real father just broke out from Azkaban and is on the run from the law. What does that mean I'll end up doing?

"How am I supposed to believe all of these allegations? How did I end up with the Clearwaters and why is my last name Zilini instead of Black?"

"Because I wanted my family name to live on. Surely there are enough Blacks going around here. And like I said... Sirius wasn't to know he had a child. It was far less dangerous that way."

"Explain." Was I just a mistake to be hidden forever? And now that he's escaped the secret is out of the bag?

"Explain? I thought it was simple, really." She ran a hand through her long silver hair. She couldn't have been more than 35. She began to paint the picture from her teenage years. It was nice, clear and vivid. And when she talked of Sirius Black it wasn't with contempt or hate, but of a missing longing.

It was March when I conceived. It wasn't until May that I knew for sure what was going on with my body. That night in March was a beautiful night. The most romantic I had ever seen him. Anyways, back on point. It was hard to tell at first what was happening. It was Madam Promfrey who told me what was happening; I had gone to her after I started to vomit constantly during potions. The vapors were ghastly. The rumors spread like wildfire, and I knew they were going to, but since the attack that I had done on Saxton, none of the rumors got back to me, so it never seemed viable. I don't think Sirius ever heard them either. I'm sure it was something that would have popped up in our many conversations.

But through the rumors, Severus was dropping heavy hints. It was terrible. The emotional stress of finding out that I was with child, and the thought of having to do something horribly drastic, it was more than I could handle at that point. Not only did I have that going on on the outside of school, we had normal things happening like exams, the idea of being thrown out into the real world by ourselves (personally that wasn't scary for me, but for a lot of other students it was). That, but Lily and James were going to get married right after school and join the Order soon after. Sirius was going to join them. They all insisted on myself joining, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't deal with the other members second guessing my motives all of the time. I was branded as a Death Eater, and that was that. They wouldn't believe a damn word I said, even if Dumbledore himself told them I was alright. I was smarter than that. Besides, I didn't want to fight anymore. I had been doing it for years and I was tired of it. I was tired of this stupid pointless war. I didn't care about pure-bloods or Muggle-borns; it just didn't matter to me anymore. The politics still made my head hurt. But more important than the war, I didn't want anything to happen to you, Sawyer. Even though it had only been two months since the conception, I knew that you were going to special and that I wanted you forever. But I knew better than that. I'm very realistic, then and now. I knew that for myself there wasn't going to be a special wedding for myself and Sirius. It was too public and too open. I never wanted to put him in danger, he did that very well himself.

And I knew... I knew deep down in my heart that I was not going to be able to keep you. So... I did what I thought was best and I came to talk to Professor Dumbledore. I remember that night so clearly. I was nervous. One hand on my stomach, the other knocking on his office door.

"Come in," I heard. I quietly opened the door and dropped my hand. I didn't want to give anything away before I had to.

"Ah, Miss Zilini, what an expected visit. How are you tonight?"

I raised an eyebrow at his comment. I sat across from his chair and stared at one of the ornaments at his desk. It was an old habit; I never looked authority figures in the eye. Something I had long picked up from learning Occlumency, something that had needed to be done if I was going to stay alive.

I only shrugged. I didn't know how I was feeling that night. Just off for the most part. The Professor carried on.

"Yes, I have been expecting you for a little while now. One reason or another, I knew that you would come." I nodded.

"You've made your choice in your ultimatum?"

"Yes sir." I gulped and sighed. "I want to be protected. I want to be hidden away. I don't want to fight anymore, I can't risk it." He gave me a knowledgeable nod.

"That is not a problem. You can chose your secret-keeper and we can find you a home to set up the Fidelius Charm in. You will be very safe there, my dear. No one but the secret-keeper will know where you are or even how to see it. That's the main key, though, Miss Zilini, is that you must choose wisely. The secret-keeper can tell others of your position. It is imperative if you want to remain hidden that you chose someone who doesn't... blab so easily."

I nodded. I had heard of a lot of people from the Order being protected by such a charm.

"Is there something else that I can help you with, Miss Zilini? You seem to have a lot on your mind tonight."

"Yes sir. How do adoption agencies work?" he looked at me long and hard before he answered.

"Does Mr. Black know?"

"No sir. I don't want him to either. I think it would be better off... in case something happens to either of us during this war."

"You think something will happen to you both?"

"Sirius plans on joining the Order immediately with James, Lily, Remus and... Peter... He's bold and brash; something will happen. And I will be on that hit list as soon as they realize that I'm in hiding."

"Don't you want to keep your child in hiding with you?" I didn't think about that. I would be able to keep the child with me, and I could protect it. I was strong enough. But that also meant that I believed that Dumbledore's charm would eventually be ineffective.

"Yes... I would like to... But I think that the idea of constantly being hunted and in hiding... that's no life for a child to be in. They should be able to go outside and play without having to worry about being seen or recognized."

The professor slowly nodded in understanding.

"When is it due?"

"November 17th."

"You will be seeing a lot of Mr. Black in that time frame. Are you sure you're going to be able to hide it from him for that long?"

"No, but I'm going to try. I think I might try and head back to America for a little bit. Visit family one last time... I have an Aunt and Uncle that live out there. The war doesn't affect them out there..."

"What would you say to him?"

"I don't know."

His eyes gleamed off his glasses, and I looked away. I was hiding a huge secret from the one person that could probably help me.

"I will contact you when I have suitable adoptive parents. Anything else, Miss Zilini?" I shook my head no and left the room. Tears had started to fall at that point. Even though I knew I was gaining just about everything I wanted, I knew that I was giving up far more than that.

I told Sirius that after school I was going to be staying with my Aunt Jora and Uncle Timmy in America. I told him that I was going to be the only one to go. It was something that he didn't enjoy the thought of.

"I don't want you going there by yourself." He said simply. Together we were laying on the couch, listening to Lily and Sallie discuss bridal affairs. James and Remus were talking together about what it would be like to join the Order of the Phoenix once they were finally done with school. And Peter was missing completely from the picture, which was odd to me but not something that I wanted to bring up. He seemed to be missing more and more lately. I didn't want a controversy to start.

"I'll be fine. I'll send them an Owl and after school I'll head out there for a little while."

"How long is a little while though? I don't want you to be gone too long..."

"Oh please, it's not like you'll miss me." I teased. "You'll be playing sheriff along with the others and you'll completely forget I exist."

"Well, I'd rather not forget." He smirked and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I could feel the emotions welling up inside. I didn't want this to ever end, but I knew it was going to have to. I knew better.

"It'll be alright. I'll come back as soon as I think it's safe. Professor Dumbledore said he would set up a safe house for me to be in, to keep me safe and hidden from all the Death Eaters out seeking revenge." Sirius nodded.

"Fidelius Charm, right?"

"Right."

"Awesome. No one will ever be able to find you." He squeezed tight. "You're going to make sure that I will at least be able to come visit, right? I mean, I'm not the one that you want to keep out?" He smiled mischievously as I smacked him on the arm.

"You would be the last person that I would want to keep out of my home."

"Great."

Time began to pass slowly and soon finals and the end of the school year were fast approaching. Graduation was a beautiful ceremony, making everyone feel elated and accomplished. The Marauder's however, were dead set on having an all-out party. Unfortunately James' parents had recently passed away, but they had left him their home in Godric's Hollow. James had Lily quickly move in after school was over. Their wedding was fast approaching. It may have been weird to have them living together so soon and before they were officially wed, but James was like Sirius; he didn't trust the idea of having her so far away from him. Not that she couldn't handle herself, but anyways. Soon after school was out, she moved in, and I moved away.

I spent the remaining six months with my family in America. Aunt Jora and Uncle Timmy were very jubilant to have my company. I told them that I would soon be expecting a little boy to join us and it brought even more celebration. Since the news of my parent's death, they had thought that the Zilini line would forever be lost. I told that that you would keep my last name instead of the father's, to make sure that this would never happen. I told them that we would change how the world viewed our family.

It was a dark time for me during those last few months. I had limited my contact with Sirius, without trying to let him think anything was wrong. My heart ached often to be with him, but I knew this was better.

It wasn't long before November that Professor Dumbledore had indeed contacted me with a family. Jeanie and Bradley Clearwater. They had a two year-old daughter named Penelope and had been trying for a second child only to find out that Jeanie was unable to conceive anymore. They would take my son and raise him as their own. It was heartbreaking knowing that someone was going to take the only other being who knew everything I thought, and would tell things to as I laid in bed at night; away from me... possibly forever. But I knew it had to be done. I had been in contact with Professor Dumbledore many times during my trip to America. I was going to start on a different sort of mission now. I was going to accomplish what Bridgette had started. I was going to find out more information on the Horcrux that the Dark Lord may have created. There was no way I could have a child and keep him safe with me. It was because Bridgette had found out this terrible idea and possible secret that he had me kill her. He couldn't have the information get out to anyone else. So while Dumbledore was at the school, protecting his students, I would go out into the field and discover what I could, to see whether or not that he had developed anything like this black magic.

But that also meant that I had lied to Sirius. I would not be returning home any time soon. As much as it hurt me, I ignored the letters; I didn't bother to even open them. Soon they began to slow down and they eventually stopped. I never did go back to read them. I traveled the safest way I could; as a Muggle with her infant son, I got an airline ride back to London. There I met Professor Dumbledore and the Clearwaters. It was a short visit, but I did what I had to do. I carefully handed over the only precious cargo I could ever have carried. Without saying good-bye, I Apparated away to my protected new home. There, I awaited the orders that would come.

_**A/N: I decided to switch it up some! What do you thiiiiiiiiiiink? I need to know! Please review and let me know what you think of this TWIST! Mwuahahahaha. Love!**_


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